An open letter to Gwen Stefani
I know. It's been a while. Shut it. Now let's move on.
Anyone else have beef with that fucking Gwen Stefani "Rich Girl" song?
FIRST OF ALL, you're gonna sample something to be 'cool' and 'with it' in this post-P.Diddy hip-hop world, and you choose Fiddler on the fucking Roof? Even for Gwen "It Girl" Stefani, that's pushing it. STOP CO-OPTING MY CULTURE. Now I know how black people felt circa 1987 when white people started wearing backwards baseball caps and calling things "wack."
SECONDLY, and I don't mean to nitpick here, but, uh, Gwen? You're positing a hypothetical and should therefore use the subjunctive..."If I WERE a rich girl" would be what you're looking for here. Idiot.
Finally, she sings, "If I was a rich girl (na na na...) See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl." Does that make sense to anybody? She seems to be implying that there's some causal link between being wealthy and having all the money in the world. It just hurts my face. If you had all the money in the world, you would be wealthy by definition you fucking whore...not because of it. Christ.
It's ok, fair readers. I know you're just as upset as I am about this. Don't fret, she'll win 47 grammies for this piece of crap (I mean, it's "featuring Eve." THE LEGENDARY Eve. It's a sure thing!), so justice will be done. Lord knows Gwen's earned it - sucking industry dick for the past 4 months, including that goddamn superbowl commercial. Who the fuck wants a grammy, anyway? It's, like, half a notch above a Soultrain award and half a notch below a Nickelodeon Kids Choice award.
What else? It's been a while. Frankly, all I do is work and go to school. So, you know, while little incidents may happen here or there are are davelogredux worthy, they're very short, and thus I don't feel like it's worth it to write about them. Sometimes some very funny things happen at work, but it's not exactly politic to write about your office on youe blog. I read an article in the Post about people who've gotten fired for doing so, not to mention the whole "Washingtonienne" nonsense of last summer. For those that don't know, I work at a lobbying, ahem, excuse me, GOVERNMENT RELATIONS firm, and thus some things that I deal with in my office are quite sensitive. So, you don't get to hear about them. Suck it up.
Ok, that's it. IT'S OVER!
Anyone else have beef with that fucking Gwen Stefani "Rich Girl" song?
FIRST OF ALL, you're gonna sample something to be 'cool' and 'with it' in this post-P.Diddy hip-hop world, and you choose Fiddler on the fucking Roof? Even for Gwen "It Girl" Stefani, that's pushing it. STOP CO-OPTING MY CULTURE. Now I know how black people felt circa 1987 when white people started wearing backwards baseball caps and calling things "wack."
SECONDLY, and I don't mean to nitpick here, but, uh, Gwen? You're positing a hypothetical and should therefore use the subjunctive..."If I WERE a rich girl" would be what you're looking for here. Idiot.
Finally, she sings, "If I was a rich girl (na na na...) See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl." Does that make sense to anybody? She seems to be implying that there's some causal link between being wealthy and having all the money in the world. It just hurts my face. If you had all the money in the world, you would be wealthy by definition you fucking whore...not because of it. Christ.
It's ok, fair readers. I know you're just as upset as I am about this. Don't fret, she'll win 47 grammies for this piece of crap (I mean, it's "featuring Eve." THE LEGENDARY Eve. It's a sure thing!), so justice will be done. Lord knows Gwen's earned it - sucking industry dick for the past 4 months, including that goddamn superbowl commercial. Who the fuck wants a grammy, anyway? It's, like, half a notch above a Soultrain award and half a notch below a Nickelodeon Kids Choice award.
What else? It's been a while. Frankly, all I do is work and go to school. So, you know, while little incidents may happen here or there are are davelogredux worthy, they're very short, and thus I don't feel like it's worth it to write about them. Sometimes some very funny things happen at work, but it's not exactly politic to write about your office on youe blog. I read an article in the Post about people who've gotten fired for doing so, not to mention the whole "Washingtonienne" nonsense of last summer. For those that don't know, I work at a lobbying, ahem, excuse me, GOVERNMENT RELATIONS firm, and thus some things that I deal with in my office are quite sensitive. So, you don't get to hear about them. Suck it up.
Ok, that's it. IT'S OVER!