inherent

[daveespionage]

Its this thing where
I try to get people to like me
By tailoring what I'm saying and
How I say it
To fit their reactions

And I wonder why
Afterwards
I feel like I've put myself in
A box 
That isn't shaped like me.

Its how I feel when I have to play songs 
That I absolutely
Can't stand
Because its what
The person in front of me will dance to.

Wallow in my own 
Misery wondering
Why I feel like I'm 
Lying to everyone
And everything.

When I already know what my
Gut is telling me
Isn't that I need to change 
What I'm saying
I need to accept myself instead.

It gets in the way of so many
Simple things
Lack of acceptance
Who can love you
If you can't love yourself?

So, why do I stop
Loving myself?
Why do I think something's
Wrong, when...
Well.

When what it is that
Seems to make someone else
Uncomfortable
Is what I want
And doesn't seem at all strange to me?

My gut sinks down
But that's because
I don't want to own up
To being
Myself.

Whoops.  
Who let that happen?
Who let all the embarassing things out
Not thinking they were embarassing?
Oh.

It was me.  
Sweeeeeeet.  
Super sweet. 
YES I OWN TEDDY BEARS
AND AM PROUD THAT I MADE ONE WHEN I WAS SIX.

Fuck off if you can't handle it. 
Because I'm sure as fuck
Not impressed
If you can't make one yourself.

Make me a mixtape
Make me a photo
Make me a pair of pants
Make me something meaningful
That I like,

Then we'll talk.

Maybe I should be saying these things 
Face to face
Rather than
Ranting about it
After the fact.

Hmmm. 
Touche self-evaluation.
Touche.