On discrimination against bad ideas.
I'm sure that many of
you have heard, recently, about the recent resolution passed by representatives of various countries dominated by the ridiculous bullshit religion of Islam, within the United Nations Council on Human Rights, that any criticism of their ridiculous and laughable faith be considered a violation of the human rights of those who believe in their inane and nonsensical fairy tales.
Naturally, I think this is a marvelous and well-founded idea. Those primitive-minded half-wits deserve all of the protection they can possibly receive from having the obvious fact that they're living their lives in the manner of deluded children who cannot separate fantasy from reality pointed out to them or spoken aloud, and anyone who plainly articulates the fact that one would have to have the mind of a retarded cave-man to ever believe any of the laughable rubbish they've dedicated their lives to ought to be treated as the beasts and criminals that they are for doing so.
It is with this in mind that I should like to see certain other obviously dangerous and/or horrible behaviours enshrined and protected by law using similar language, so that we should all have the protection that these deluded cretins seek to enjoy, and to this end, I have prepared the following thorough though non-exhaustive list.
1) The United Nations does hereby prohibit the criticism or questioning, by law-enforcement officers or others, of the act of drunken driving. The driving of a vehicle while inebriated is a precious and sacred activity for an entire class of irresponsible morons the world over, and the criticism of that activity constitutes a persecution by the sober and responsible majority of the home countries of these peoples, which no civilized person can ethically justify. The United Nations therefore condemns any individual or body of individuals who would seek to caution against this activity, question the judgement of those who partake in it or seek legal action against or compensation from damages or death arising from such actions.
2) The United Nations does hereby condemn those whose actions since the dawn of nautical history constitute a systematic and deliberate persecution of piracy. Those who live the pirate lifestyle are entirely entitled to their chosen lifestyle, and yet at all times and at all places, they have been treated as criminals and worse by those who attempt to stop them from hijacking their ships. This sort of victimization of pirates by those who would prevent said pirates from stealing the cargo of their ships and/or take part in the murder and/or enslavement of the passengers and/or crews of these ships is a clear and gross violation of the pirates' human rights, and a premeditated and systematic attempt to eradicate their lifestyle from the Earth. It is therefore resolved that those who attempt to prevent pirates from these and related acts of piracy are to be treated as criminals, and the various coastal nations of the world are encouraged to draft laws to prosecute those who would thus persecute these practitioners of this ancient and time-honoured sea-faring lifestyle.
3) The United Nations does hereby condemn those women whose actions and/or omission of actions vis a vis withholding of sexual favours constitute a persecution of obnoxious assholes crudely propositioning them in public places. Throughout the world, men are routinely denigrated, marginalized and denied the opportunity to "give women what they really need" based upon nothing more than their chosen and personally cherished activities vis a vis shouting at, groping and verbally abusing women with aggressive sexual innuendo. As these actions serve the purpose of preventing them from the basic human right of reproduction, it is therefore to be considered tantamount to forced sterilization and indeed genocide. This blatant violation of their human rights is therefore held to be unethical, and all member-states of the UN are encouraged in the strongest of terms to draft laws which would see women who refuse to indulge these advances prosecuted and sentenced to public service and/or prison terms in men's penitentiaries, where they may pay their debt to society.
4) The United Nations does hereby condemn those who criticize idiots, jackasses and morons of all stripes. Though idiots constitute large and in many cases majority populations throughout the world, they are routinely made to feel like fools by those more intelligent, better-informed and more thoughtful than themselves. This constitutes a gross violation of their human rights, as does any disagreement with or refusal to act upon any idiotic ideas which they might offer up or decide to act upon. It is therefore resolved that all nations are strongly encouraged to draft laws which dictate criminal charges be brought against those who disagree with or offer any meaningful critique of any idiotic person or idea, including, but not limited to, the drafting of said laws.
(Note that this last acts as something of a catch-all for the previous three, and indeed for the criticism of Islam, and to the same extent, all other religions.)
I expect to see these resolutions passed in brisk order.
For the benefit of any Muslim readers who may be offended by the false impression that I am comparing their insipid religion to drunk driving, piracy and verbal abuse of women, I wish it to be known that I am comparing them ONLY in terms of the fact that - like the practice of their asinine religion - these are bad and destructive ideas which the world would do better without, and that no other offense or slight is intended against their basic human rights.