If I Knew Then... Ch. 10
Title: If I Knew Then...
Author: Shade
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG to NC17
Disclaimer: All assorted characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss which is fine, because I suspect Buffy's high maintenance anyway.
Summary: AU-The African demon in Grave grants Spike's wish in a way he never planned. Flung back in time, he has to relive the previous three years with all the knowledge of what's to come.
A/N: Originally beated with action beta squee by blinding_sight. Certain bits of dialog are taken from the following BtVS episodes:
4:16: Who Are You?
Chapter 10: Who Are You?
He's flopped on Giles' couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table despite the looks he keeps getting from the Watcher. Xander is slumped next to him. The boy's been crap company since they ran into Anya on the street. Spike even ended up fielding a phone call from Xander's current employer because the git wouldn't get out of bed. Now he's lost yet another job, not that Spike's yelling had anything to do with it, of course. They're just waiting around when Buffy finally deigns to join them.
"The Scooby gang's all here. Willow, Xander, and," she pauses looking at him, "everybody. What's up?"
"It's about Faith, not surprisingly," Giles answers.
"Didn't Joyce tell you? I already kicked that ass."
"Bloody hell, I miss everything," Spike mumbles and slides down further into the couch.
"Where is she?" Willow asks.
"On her way to the big house. Cops took her off my hands about an hour ago. Poetic justice."
Giles looks concerned and says, "Unless I'm mistaken, Faith is no longer in police custody."
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asks sounding pissed.
"Watcher's Council. They, uh, sent a retrieval team to capture Faith. It was a special operations unit. They handle the Council's trickier jobs-smuggling, interrogation, wetworks."
"What's wetworks?" Willow asks innocently.
Spike bends his head over the back of the couch and looks at her upside down. "My kind of work, love."
"Oh. Ew."
"So, no more Faith? They're taking her back to England, right?" Buffy asks gleefully.
Giles nods, which sends the girl into a strange laughing fit. They all stare at her until she settles down. Spike watches her for a moment. There is something off about Buffy. Maybe this Faith chick was worse than he thought to get her all upset. While the others blather on, he stares some more. She finally catches him looking, and instead of giving him her usual glare, there is a different look. This one has heat in it like he hasn't seen in a long time. Suddenly, Spike feels naked and has to look away. If fighting this other Slayer has gotten her worked up into one of her dark fits, she won't be taking out her frustrations on him. He refuses to go down that road again.
When he looks over, Xander is watching Buffy too. He must have caught the look because he glances over. Spike can't hold the boy's eyes and looks away. Xander and he are good now. Surprisingly so. He doesn't want the boy, or the others to know about him and Buffy. Spike can't go back to being hated again.
"You alright?" Xander asks and actually sounds like he's interested in the answer.
"Yeah. Just bored."
"Let's get out of here. BBB?"
"Huh?"
"Beers? Billiards? Bronze?"
Spike jumps to his feet. "Right. We're off Watcher."
Giles waves them away and continues discussing something with Willow and Buffy. He can feel the Slayer's eyes on him until they're finally out the door. Spike shakes the feeling off and follows Xander.
"Mention beer and he hops like a bunny," the boy says with a grin.
The Bronze is quiet when they arrive, but it's still early. He quickly swipes the boy's wallet and heads for the bar. He orders four beers and an appetizer medley before heading back to the pool table that Xander has staked out. Spike digs in his coat pocket and pulls out a few more quarters to add to Harris' stack. He wants to keep the pool table for the rest of the night. Spike racks them while Xander flips a coin to see who will break first.
"Tails," Spike says without looking.
"Damn. How do you do that?"
"I'm lucky. Now take a seat and learn something."
His break sinks four balls and he calls solids. Xander is already grumbling. Spike smirks at him as he prepares for his next shot. He doesn't even look at the ball, but instead looks at Harris when he lets the cue go. He hears the ball sink and the boy groans at him.
"Show off. Look at the table, not at me."
"What and miss the agony of defeat on your face? No, I don't think so."
"Jerk."
Spike moves around the table sinking a few more shots letting Xander swallow down most of his first beer. When he's finally relaxed, Spike speaks.
"So, you ever going to tell me about you and Faith?"
The bottleneck pauses at Harris' lips. The beer slowly moves down away from his mouth and Xander looks across the table. Spike tries to project earnestness on his face, somehow he doubts if it comes across. It must be something though because Xander sighs and sets the beer on the table.
"If I tell you, will you promise to never bring it up again?"
"That depends on how juicy it is, mate."
"Spike, please." There is a slight tremble in the boy's voice. "I don't want you holding this over my head forever. If you're going to mock me, I'm not going to tell you."
Spike curses himself for a poof and says, "Okay. Tonight's a freebee. Whatever's said over this table is never to be repeated. But don't expect to get off this lightly all the sodding time."
Xander nods and waves him back to the game. Spike sinks another ball before he hears the boy talking behind him.
"Last year. You were gone. Well, except for the drunken episode where you threatened to kill me and Willow and smacked me over the head with a microscope and basically ruined my life because Cordy and Oz caught Willow and I kissing in the factory," he says all in one breath. Then quickly adds, "Not that I'm not holding a grudge or anything...."
"Oh, no. Never that," he says sarcastically. They share a quick grin, before Spike turns back to the table to let the boy talk.
"Faith was this new Slayer. Before Buffy killed the Master, he drowned her. I brought her back. CPR. Anyway, she was gone long enough for another Slayer to get called. So now, two Slayers, because of me. Faith... Faith was different. She was tough, streetwise. You'd like her."
"Hot?"
"Ho-yeah. Scorching. I was just..."
"Randy as a sailor?"
Xander shoots him a dirty look, so he just turns back to the table and finishes off the frame with a chuckle.
"Smitten. I was going to say smitten," Xander continues. "Then there was this crazy night..."
The boy looks lost in thought, so Spike steps over and snatches a beer. He drinks a few swallows before going back to rack the balls up again. When they are set, he walks back over and pokes Xander in the ribs. The boy jumps at bit and Spike smiles.
"Your turn."
Xander goes over to break. Spike quickly takes his stool and soaks up the left over warmth. The break is okay but only one ball goes in a side pocket. Xander walks around the table sizing up the easy shots. Spike watches him and drinks and waits. Finally, after he's made another shot, Harris comes back for his beer. A swallow and he starts talking again.
"Jack O'Toole: bane of my existence, general all around psycho, oh, and he also was a zombie. He did a little voodoo and raised all his buddies for a wild dead ol' time. Of course genius me ends up in the middle of all this. Buffy and the gang were fighting off some kind of lady demons that wanted to open the Hellmouth or something or 'nother. Anyway, in the middle of trying to stop Jack I saved Faith. Ran a car into one of the evil chickies. I took her back to her place and..."
Spike pauses with a cigarette in his lips lighter half way up. "Oh ho! Xander Harris, you stud!"
"Yeah, it's really not as exciting as it sounds. I coulda been a bedpost for all she cared."
"Oooh," he grunts sympathetically and lights up ignoring the no smoking sign on the post right next to their table.
"My first time and I was pretty much a walking dildo. Story of my life," Xander bitches, then seems to realize what he just said and whom he said it to. He shoots a worried look at Spike.
"If it makes you feel any better, I had to die to get my first."
"You mean before Dru..."
"It was Victorian England and I wasn't married. Connect the dots. Of course I've had more than my fair share since, but hey, I'm a right sexy bastard."
Xander rolls his eyes and heads back to the table. He misses his next shot so Spike grabs his cue and comes over. Xander stands to the side and watches him play.
"Stupid me, I thought that meant that there was something between us, you know? I thought we had something. So Faith goes bad. Stakes the Mayor's assistant, only problem was that he wasn't a vamp. She killed the guy. From that moment on, she went off the deep end without any water wings. Because I thought we had something, dummy me, I thought I could talk her down. Hell, I was prepared to testify for her that it was an accident and I wasn't even there. She laughed at me."
Spike looks up from the bank shot he's setting up and sees the misery and self-hatred in the boy's eyes and stands back up. Xander is not looking at him. Instead, he's staring over Spike's leather clad shoulder, miles away.
"She thought I was funny because I actually believed... Next thing I know, she's shoving me on the bed again ripping my shirt off. I told her-I.…” There's too much emotion in his voice and it quickly gets cut off. He finishes tonelessly like a robot. "Her hands were around my neck. I couldn't breathe. I tried to get her off of me, but she was too strong. I knew I was going to die. Everything went dark. I should have died."
He stops and is still staring off into space. Spike didn't realize it was this bad. If he had, he wouldn't have ever pushed the boy to tell him. It brings back too many nights in his crypt with a demanding Slayer of his own. He asks softly, "What happened?"
"Angel. He must have stopped her. Next thing I knew he was slapping me awake and asking me if I was okay. He must have seen." Xander jerks back to the moment. He looks hard at Spike and his eyebrows wrinkle up in confusion at what he sees. Spike looks back at the table. Harris snorts. "Another reason to hate Deadboy, I guess."
"Yeah," Spike says softly and bends down to try and finish the bank shot, but his hands are shaking a bit and the five ball taps the edge of the pocket, but doesn't fall in.
Xander steps up and concentrates on the table. The waitress comes over with their appetizer tray and he orders two more beers. Spike attacks the spicy wings and gives the boy a minute to pull himself together. The food brings him back to their table though. They chow down in silence. The place is starting to fill up so they finish quickly and move back over to the pool table.
Spike doesn't know what to say. He's gotten better at the comforting thing over his years in Sunnydale. First it was soothing his ill Sire, then it was trying to hold back Nibblet's hurts, and finally Buffy, though she never wanted his comfort, never let him try and ease her pain with something other than violence. But Xander is a boy turning into a man. He doesn’t know how to make him feel better, or why he'd even want to, but the urge is still there.
As usual, silence isn't something that Harris is comfortable with. It doesn't take him long before he's cracking a joke at Spike's expense and they slowly salvage the night. They're having a pretty good time playing pool and trading barbs when a blonde head flashes in the lights on the dance floor and makes Spike turn. Buffy is dancing. It's something that will always draw the eye. Xander stops in front of him and turns to see what he's looking at. By that time, Buffy has spotted them and casually makes her way over.
"The Buffster. The Buffinator. What's up?" Xander asks with a smile.
Buffy smiles back and there's something predatory about it. It makes the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, even more so when she turns that smile on him.
"Xander. Hanging out with the undead now, are we? How cozy."
"Lay off, Slayer. You know with this chip in my head that the lad is safe."
"Yeah, Buffy. Spike is kind of one of the gang now, no matter how much he bitches."
"Oi!" he warns and turns back to the table hoping she'll just go away.
"Spike?" he hears Buffy ask and he can hear confusion before she settles in again. "Spike. William the Bloody with a chip in his head. I kind of love this town."
"Buffy!"
"What, Xander? Oh... I get it."
Spike bristles at the tone of her voice. He turns and holds back a growl. "Get what, Slayer?"
"Look at him standing up for you. It's sweet."
Xander frowns. "So we're kind of friends now. I know it's strange and freaky, but, you know, Hellmouth."
"Friends?" Buffy says slyly. He and Xander exchange a glance. Buffy huffs a throaty laugh. Spike grips the pool cue so hard he can hear the wood creaking under the strain. Buffy continues, "Yeah, you must be good friends what with all the looking and the touching. And Xandy here playing guard dog for his big blonde puppy."
Xander slowly starts to catch on to the vibe Spike's been getting from the beginning. His warm face clouds over and he's almost nose-to-nose with Buffy before Spike can start something.
"What's your problem, Buffy? I know you and Spike are never going to get along, but you don't have to be like that. Have you been drinking?"
"Back off, Xander!" she barks and shoves him backwards. Xander stumbles back against him and Spike wraps his free arm around the boy's waist to steady him. This makes the hard smile on Buffy's face shine brighter. "Look at you! It's so obvious that you're jonesing for each other."
"I'm not jonesing! There is no jonesing!" Xander snaps and pulls free of Spike's hold.
"Please, you always like the tough ones don't you, Xan? Somebody to tell you what's what, to push you around a bit, make you want it? I should have seen it from the start. Tell me, is Spike a good Daddy?"
"That's enough!" Spike barks loud enough to draw attention to them. "Move on, Slayer. Move on."
Buffy tosses her hair over her shoulder and looks both of them up and down with a sultry gaze. It leaves Spike cold. "You're right," she says. "There's nothing to see here. At least nothing that everyone can't see already."
With that she turns on her heel and is gone. Xander looks worse than if she'd staked him with Mr. Pointy. Spike reaches out to touch his arm, bring him back out of his head, but the boy twists away at the last moment to avoid contact. Spike stares at his arm hanging in the air a moment before letting it drop. He tosses the cue onto the table with a clatter.
"Night's over then, I guess."
Xander doesn't answer. He just heads for the door. Spike follows silently. The trip back is entirely too quiet. He's glad for it at first, after an emotional roller coaster of an evening, but it doesn't take long before he misses the boy's constant babble. Something is definitely wrong if Xander isn't trying to make some kind of crack.
"You shouldn't let it get to you, Harris. She's just mad is all. It must be hard on her to have me around, knowing what I know, making her sacred duty all bleeding wonky."
Silence still from the boy and he starts to get desperate.
"She's probably just upset over this Faith business, and we know it's not true, so who cares?"
Nothing.
"I want you to know that I appreciate you telling her that we were mates and all, but you never heard me say that, right?"
Empty air. They make it all the way back to the basement and inside the door. He's about to tear out his hair because of the quiet.
"Just... bloody say something!" he yells finally.
"Shut up, Spike!"
Spike looks to the ceiling in relief and gives a loud "Thank you!"
"This is what I get? I mean you're an evil, soulless vampire. One of the things we kill. I should have known better! They've both stopped talking to me, then Anya, and now this."
"What are you on about?"
"I should have never started treating you like a person. You're just dragging me down to your level and alienating me from my friends! If it weren’t for you, I wouldn't have gotten shot. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have gotten drunk and lost Anya! Now they think... they think... No wonder they're always too busy for me now."
"Are you cracked? Xander, she's just trying to get a rise out of you. She's trying to make you mad so that'll you do what you're doing now. It's just another way to get rid of me!"
"Is it? Is that it? 'Cause during Willow's spell you sure were handsy... and, and groiny... For all I know you are trying to get into my pants!"
"Oh please!" he sighs turning away, only to have a big hand grip his arm and jerk him back around.
"What is your deal, Spike? Why are you here? And why are you being so nice to me?"
Spike steps up closer to the boy and slaps the hand off of his bicep. "I told you. Things change. There's a lot that happened to me. I'm trying to make it better this time around."
"And better is what? Having the Zeppo wrapped around your finger? Well, forget it Spike because it's never going to happen!"
"Like I'm really interested!"
"Oh you are!" Xander keeps yelling.
"Are not!" Spike yells back.
"Are too!" Xander yells stepping closer.
"Are... bloody hell, I'm not starting this crap with you!" he snaps and leans forward menacingly.
"Just, just shut up, Spike!"
And then the world goes insane because Xander is grabbing his shoulders and pulling him the rest of the way forward, and he's got the boy's waist and yanking the warm stomach against his own. Xander's head tilts right before their faces collide and he's got a warm mouth on his. The kiss is hard and feral and nothing like the sweet kisses of a woman. Not that he's had many sweet kisses in his life being a vampire. But still, it's hot and needy. He slides his hands up the boy's back and one ends up tangled in the dark hair at the nape. Xander's hands are sliding down from his shoulders, fingers slipping along the edge of his pecs and just barely skimming nipples before slowly inching down his ribs to grab his hips tightly. Spike opens his mouth to let the hot exploring tongue against his lips inside. He tilts his head a little to let Xander get even deeper. He never would have guessed that Harris could kiss this well, except he never shuts up so his tongue must get enough of a work out.
Then just as abruptly as the kiss began, their lips separate with a pop and they both pull back. Blue eyes on brown and then it hits them. Spike lurches backward in growing horror. He watches Xander rub his face with both hands before they slide back into the dark hair and fist there tightly. A quick flash enters his mind that he knows exactly what that hair feels like now, and Spike is out the door without a second glance. His feet eat up the pavement in a random direction. He doesn't stop running until he's most of the way across Sunnydale. Spike chugs unneeded breaths and wonders what the fuck just happened.
Author: Shade
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG to NC17
Disclaimer: All assorted characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss which is fine, because I suspect Buffy's high maintenance anyway.
Summary: AU-The African demon in Grave grants Spike's wish in a way he never planned. Flung back in time, he has to relive the previous three years with all the knowledge of what's to come.
A/N: Originally beated with action beta squee by blinding_sight. Certain bits of dialog are taken from the following BtVS episodes:
4:16: Who Are You?
Chapter 10: Who Are You?
He's flopped on Giles' couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table despite the looks he keeps getting from the Watcher. Xander is slumped next to him. The boy's been crap company since they ran into Anya on the street. Spike even ended up fielding a phone call from Xander's current employer because the git wouldn't get out of bed. Now he's lost yet another job, not that Spike's yelling had anything to do with it, of course. They're just waiting around when Buffy finally deigns to join them.
"The Scooby gang's all here. Willow, Xander, and," she pauses looking at him, "everybody. What's up?"
"It's about Faith, not surprisingly," Giles answers.
"Didn't Joyce tell you? I already kicked that ass."
"Bloody hell, I miss everything," Spike mumbles and slides down further into the couch.
"Where is she?" Willow asks.
"On her way to the big house. Cops took her off my hands about an hour ago. Poetic justice."
Giles looks concerned and says, "Unless I'm mistaken, Faith is no longer in police custody."
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asks sounding pissed.
"Watcher's Council. They, uh, sent a retrieval team to capture Faith. It was a special operations unit. They handle the Council's trickier jobs-smuggling, interrogation, wetworks."
"What's wetworks?" Willow asks innocently.
Spike bends his head over the back of the couch and looks at her upside down. "My kind of work, love."
"Oh. Ew."
"So, no more Faith? They're taking her back to England, right?" Buffy asks gleefully.
Giles nods, which sends the girl into a strange laughing fit. They all stare at her until she settles down. Spike watches her for a moment. There is something off about Buffy. Maybe this Faith chick was worse than he thought to get her all upset. While the others blather on, he stares some more. She finally catches him looking, and instead of giving him her usual glare, there is a different look. This one has heat in it like he hasn't seen in a long time. Suddenly, Spike feels naked and has to look away. If fighting this other Slayer has gotten her worked up into one of her dark fits, she won't be taking out her frustrations on him. He refuses to go down that road again.
When he looks over, Xander is watching Buffy too. He must have caught the look because he glances over. Spike can't hold the boy's eyes and looks away. Xander and he are good now. Surprisingly so. He doesn't want the boy, or the others to know about him and Buffy. Spike can't go back to being hated again.
"You alright?" Xander asks and actually sounds like he's interested in the answer.
"Yeah. Just bored."
"Let's get out of here. BBB?"
"Huh?"
"Beers? Billiards? Bronze?"
Spike jumps to his feet. "Right. We're off Watcher."
Giles waves them away and continues discussing something with Willow and Buffy. He can feel the Slayer's eyes on him until they're finally out the door. Spike shakes the feeling off and follows Xander.
"Mention beer and he hops like a bunny," the boy says with a grin.
The Bronze is quiet when they arrive, but it's still early. He quickly swipes the boy's wallet and heads for the bar. He orders four beers and an appetizer medley before heading back to the pool table that Xander has staked out. Spike digs in his coat pocket and pulls out a few more quarters to add to Harris' stack. He wants to keep the pool table for the rest of the night. Spike racks them while Xander flips a coin to see who will break first.
"Tails," Spike says without looking.
"Damn. How do you do that?"
"I'm lucky. Now take a seat and learn something."
His break sinks four balls and he calls solids. Xander is already grumbling. Spike smirks at him as he prepares for his next shot. He doesn't even look at the ball, but instead looks at Harris when he lets the cue go. He hears the ball sink and the boy groans at him.
"Show off. Look at the table, not at me."
"What and miss the agony of defeat on your face? No, I don't think so."
"Jerk."
Spike moves around the table sinking a few more shots letting Xander swallow down most of his first beer. When he's finally relaxed, Spike speaks.
"So, you ever going to tell me about you and Faith?"
The bottleneck pauses at Harris' lips. The beer slowly moves down away from his mouth and Xander looks across the table. Spike tries to project earnestness on his face, somehow he doubts if it comes across. It must be something though because Xander sighs and sets the beer on the table.
"If I tell you, will you promise to never bring it up again?"
"That depends on how juicy it is, mate."
"Spike, please." There is a slight tremble in the boy's voice. "I don't want you holding this over my head forever. If you're going to mock me, I'm not going to tell you."
Spike curses himself for a poof and says, "Okay. Tonight's a freebee. Whatever's said over this table is never to be repeated. But don't expect to get off this lightly all the sodding time."
Xander nods and waves him back to the game. Spike sinks another ball before he hears the boy talking behind him.
"Last year. You were gone. Well, except for the drunken episode where you threatened to kill me and Willow and smacked me over the head with a microscope and basically ruined my life because Cordy and Oz caught Willow and I kissing in the factory," he says all in one breath. Then quickly adds, "Not that I'm not holding a grudge or anything...."
"Oh, no. Never that," he says sarcastically. They share a quick grin, before Spike turns back to the table to let the boy talk.
"Faith was this new Slayer. Before Buffy killed the Master, he drowned her. I brought her back. CPR. Anyway, she was gone long enough for another Slayer to get called. So now, two Slayers, because of me. Faith... Faith was different. She was tough, streetwise. You'd like her."
"Hot?"
"Ho-yeah. Scorching. I was just..."
"Randy as a sailor?"
Xander shoots him a dirty look, so he just turns back to the table and finishes off the frame with a chuckle.
"Smitten. I was going to say smitten," Xander continues. "Then there was this crazy night..."
The boy looks lost in thought, so Spike steps over and snatches a beer. He drinks a few swallows before going back to rack the balls up again. When they are set, he walks back over and pokes Xander in the ribs. The boy jumps at bit and Spike smiles.
"Your turn."
Xander goes over to break. Spike quickly takes his stool and soaks up the left over warmth. The break is okay but only one ball goes in a side pocket. Xander walks around the table sizing up the easy shots. Spike watches him and drinks and waits. Finally, after he's made another shot, Harris comes back for his beer. A swallow and he starts talking again.
"Jack O'Toole: bane of my existence, general all around psycho, oh, and he also was a zombie. He did a little voodoo and raised all his buddies for a wild dead ol' time. Of course genius me ends up in the middle of all this. Buffy and the gang were fighting off some kind of lady demons that wanted to open the Hellmouth or something or 'nother. Anyway, in the middle of trying to stop Jack I saved Faith. Ran a car into one of the evil chickies. I took her back to her place and..."
Spike pauses with a cigarette in his lips lighter half way up. "Oh ho! Xander Harris, you stud!"
"Yeah, it's really not as exciting as it sounds. I coulda been a bedpost for all she cared."
"Oooh," he grunts sympathetically and lights up ignoring the no smoking sign on the post right next to their table.
"My first time and I was pretty much a walking dildo. Story of my life," Xander bitches, then seems to realize what he just said and whom he said it to. He shoots a worried look at Spike.
"If it makes you feel any better, I had to die to get my first."
"You mean before Dru..."
"It was Victorian England and I wasn't married. Connect the dots. Of course I've had more than my fair share since, but hey, I'm a right sexy bastard."
Xander rolls his eyes and heads back to the table. He misses his next shot so Spike grabs his cue and comes over. Xander stands to the side and watches him play.
"Stupid me, I thought that meant that there was something between us, you know? I thought we had something. So Faith goes bad. Stakes the Mayor's assistant, only problem was that he wasn't a vamp. She killed the guy. From that moment on, she went off the deep end without any water wings. Because I thought we had something, dummy me, I thought I could talk her down. Hell, I was prepared to testify for her that it was an accident and I wasn't even there. She laughed at me."
Spike looks up from the bank shot he's setting up and sees the misery and self-hatred in the boy's eyes and stands back up. Xander is not looking at him. Instead, he's staring over Spike's leather clad shoulder, miles away.
"She thought I was funny because I actually believed... Next thing I know, she's shoving me on the bed again ripping my shirt off. I told her-I.…” There's too much emotion in his voice and it quickly gets cut off. He finishes tonelessly like a robot. "Her hands were around my neck. I couldn't breathe. I tried to get her off of me, but she was too strong. I knew I was going to die. Everything went dark. I should have died."
He stops and is still staring off into space. Spike didn't realize it was this bad. If he had, he wouldn't have ever pushed the boy to tell him. It brings back too many nights in his crypt with a demanding Slayer of his own. He asks softly, "What happened?"
"Angel. He must have stopped her. Next thing I knew he was slapping me awake and asking me if I was okay. He must have seen." Xander jerks back to the moment. He looks hard at Spike and his eyebrows wrinkle up in confusion at what he sees. Spike looks back at the table. Harris snorts. "Another reason to hate Deadboy, I guess."
"Yeah," Spike says softly and bends down to try and finish the bank shot, but his hands are shaking a bit and the five ball taps the edge of the pocket, but doesn't fall in.
Xander steps up and concentrates on the table. The waitress comes over with their appetizer tray and he orders two more beers. Spike attacks the spicy wings and gives the boy a minute to pull himself together. The food brings him back to their table though. They chow down in silence. The place is starting to fill up so they finish quickly and move back over to the pool table.
Spike doesn't know what to say. He's gotten better at the comforting thing over his years in Sunnydale. First it was soothing his ill Sire, then it was trying to hold back Nibblet's hurts, and finally Buffy, though she never wanted his comfort, never let him try and ease her pain with something other than violence. But Xander is a boy turning into a man. He doesn’t know how to make him feel better, or why he'd even want to, but the urge is still there.
As usual, silence isn't something that Harris is comfortable with. It doesn't take him long before he's cracking a joke at Spike's expense and they slowly salvage the night. They're having a pretty good time playing pool and trading barbs when a blonde head flashes in the lights on the dance floor and makes Spike turn. Buffy is dancing. It's something that will always draw the eye. Xander stops in front of him and turns to see what he's looking at. By that time, Buffy has spotted them and casually makes her way over.
"The Buffster. The Buffinator. What's up?" Xander asks with a smile.
Buffy smiles back and there's something predatory about it. It makes the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, even more so when she turns that smile on him.
"Xander. Hanging out with the undead now, are we? How cozy."
"Lay off, Slayer. You know with this chip in my head that the lad is safe."
"Yeah, Buffy. Spike is kind of one of the gang now, no matter how much he bitches."
"Oi!" he warns and turns back to the table hoping she'll just go away.
"Spike?" he hears Buffy ask and he can hear confusion before she settles in again. "Spike. William the Bloody with a chip in his head. I kind of love this town."
"Buffy!"
"What, Xander? Oh... I get it."
Spike bristles at the tone of her voice. He turns and holds back a growl. "Get what, Slayer?"
"Look at him standing up for you. It's sweet."
Xander frowns. "So we're kind of friends now. I know it's strange and freaky, but, you know, Hellmouth."
"Friends?" Buffy says slyly. He and Xander exchange a glance. Buffy huffs a throaty laugh. Spike grips the pool cue so hard he can hear the wood creaking under the strain. Buffy continues, "Yeah, you must be good friends what with all the looking and the touching. And Xandy here playing guard dog for his big blonde puppy."
Xander slowly starts to catch on to the vibe Spike's been getting from the beginning. His warm face clouds over and he's almost nose-to-nose with Buffy before Spike can start something.
"What's your problem, Buffy? I know you and Spike are never going to get along, but you don't have to be like that. Have you been drinking?"
"Back off, Xander!" she barks and shoves him backwards. Xander stumbles back against him and Spike wraps his free arm around the boy's waist to steady him. This makes the hard smile on Buffy's face shine brighter. "Look at you! It's so obvious that you're jonesing for each other."
"I'm not jonesing! There is no jonesing!" Xander snaps and pulls free of Spike's hold.
"Please, you always like the tough ones don't you, Xan? Somebody to tell you what's what, to push you around a bit, make you want it? I should have seen it from the start. Tell me, is Spike a good Daddy?"
"That's enough!" Spike barks loud enough to draw attention to them. "Move on, Slayer. Move on."
Buffy tosses her hair over her shoulder and looks both of them up and down with a sultry gaze. It leaves Spike cold. "You're right," she says. "There's nothing to see here. At least nothing that everyone can't see already."
With that she turns on her heel and is gone. Xander looks worse than if she'd staked him with Mr. Pointy. Spike reaches out to touch his arm, bring him back out of his head, but the boy twists away at the last moment to avoid contact. Spike stares at his arm hanging in the air a moment before letting it drop. He tosses the cue onto the table with a clatter.
"Night's over then, I guess."
Xander doesn't answer. He just heads for the door. Spike follows silently. The trip back is entirely too quiet. He's glad for it at first, after an emotional roller coaster of an evening, but it doesn't take long before he misses the boy's constant babble. Something is definitely wrong if Xander isn't trying to make some kind of crack.
"You shouldn't let it get to you, Harris. She's just mad is all. It must be hard on her to have me around, knowing what I know, making her sacred duty all bleeding wonky."
Silence still from the boy and he starts to get desperate.
"She's probably just upset over this Faith business, and we know it's not true, so who cares?"
Nothing.
"I want you to know that I appreciate you telling her that we were mates and all, but you never heard me say that, right?"
Empty air. They make it all the way back to the basement and inside the door. He's about to tear out his hair because of the quiet.
"Just... bloody say something!" he yells finally.
"Shut up, Spike!"
Spike looks to the ceiling in relief and gives a loud "Thank you!"
"This is what I get? I mean you're an evil, soulless vampire. One of the things we kill. I should have known better! They've both stopped talking to me, then Anya, and now this."
"What are you on about?"
"I should have never started treating you like a person. You're just dragging me down to your level and alienating me from my friends! If it weren’t for you, I wouldn't have gotten shot. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have gotten drunk and lost Anya! Now they think... they think... No wonder they're always too busy for me now."
"Are you cracked? Xander, she's just trying to get a rise out of you. She's trying to make you mad so that'll you do what you're doing now. It's just another way to get rid of me!"
"Is it? Is that it? 'Cause during Willow's spell you sure were handsy... and, and groiny... For all I know you are trying to get into my pants!"
"Oh please!" he sighs turning away, only to have a big hand grip his arm and jerk him back around.
"What is your deal, Spike? Why are you here? And why are you being so nice to me?"
Spike steps up closer to the boy and slaps the hand off of his bicep. "I told you. Things change. There's a lot that happened to me. I'm trying to make it better this time around."
"And better is what? Having the Zeppo wrapped around your finger? Well, forget it Spike because it's never going to happen!"
"Like I'm really interested!"
"Oh you are!" Xander keeps yelling.
"Are not!" Spike yells back.
"Are too!" Xander yells stepping closer.
"Are... bloody hell, I'm not starting this crap with you!" he snaps and leans forward menacingly.
"Just, just shut up, Spike!"
And then the world goes insane because Xander is grabbing his shoulders and pulling him the rest of the way forward, and he's got the boy's waist and yanking the warm stomach against his own. Xander's head tilts right before their faces collide and he's got a warm mouth on his. The kiss is hard and feral and nothing like the sweet kisses of a woman. Not that he's had many sweet kisses in his life being a vampire. But still, it's hot and needy. He slides his hands up the boy's back and one ends up tangled in the dark hair at the nape. Xander's hands are sliding down from his shoulders, fingers slipping along the edge of his pecs and just barely skimming nipples before slowly inching down his ribs to grab his hips tightly. Spike opens his mouth to let the hot exploring tongue against his lips inside. He tilts his head a little to let Xander get even deeper. He never would have guessed that Harris could kiss this well, except he never shuts up so his tongue must get enough of a work out.
Then just as abruptly as the kiss began, their lips separate with a pop and they both pull back. Blue eyes on brown and then it hits them. Spike lurches backward in growing horror. He watches Xander rub his face with both hands before they slide back into the dark hair and fist there tightly. A quick flash enters his mind that he knows exactly what that hair feels like now, and Spike is out the door without a second glance. His feet eat up the pavement in a random direction. He doesn't stop running until he's most of the way across Sunnydale. Spike chugs unneeded breaths and wonders what the fuck just happened.