If I Knew Then... Ch 7
Title: If I Knew Then...
Author: Shade
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG to NC17
Disclaimer: All assorted characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss which is fine, because I suspect Buffy's high maintenance anyway.
Summary: AU-The African demon in Grave grants Spike's wish in a way he never planned. Flung back in time, he has to relive the previous three years with all the knowledge of what's to come.
A/N: Originally beated with a velvet fist by blinding_sight. Certain bits of dialog are taken from the following BtVS episodes:
4:13: The I In Team
Chapter 7: The I In Team
Spike sits on the stairs in Giles' condo watching Xander re-hang the front door properly. Anya is beside him and she appears to be admiring Harris' rear end. He tries not to let the distaste show on his face and from the confused look he gets from Xander, he obviously fails.
"I don't see why we have to help clean up the place. It's not like we went on a destruction spree," Anya says loudly.
"You're telling me," he agrees.
Willow shoots them a dirty look from where she's sweeping. "We're trying to do more stuff together. Poor Giles got all demony because we weren't around to help."
Giles comes out of the kitchen with a tray full of drinks and replies, "I hardly blame you or the others, Willow. It was my own foolishness that got me into that mess. I knew better than to let my guard down in front of Ethan. But I do appreciate the help, especially your skills, Xander. I'd hate to be charged excessively when I move out."
"Don't worry, it'll be good as new when I'm done. I've got all the lumber to fix the railing, and that hole by your mirror just needs a bit of plaster." Xander steps back from the door swinging it with a critical eye before closing it to make sure everything is working to his satisfaction.
"I notice Buffy isn't here helping, even after stabbing you. If I stab you, can I leave?" Spike asks.
As usual, Giles ignores the question, but Willow pipes up. "I guess she's out with Riley and his buddies again."
Xander tosses a screwdriver into his toolbox and pulls out a measuring tape. Anya gets up out of his way and heads for the tray Giles left out. Spike sprawls even more on the stairs not caring if he's in the way or not and receives a kick from Xander for his trouble. He contemplates pinching the boy's leg, but decides a jolt from the chip isn't worth it.
"I think Riley is okay, in an oafish kind of way. And I hate to agree with Spike here, but am I the only one with a big floating question mark over his head about this Initiative thing?" Xander asks while he measures the railing.
"Well, they do seem to fall into the 'good guy' camp. I mean they are anti-demon," Willow says pausing to look at Anya. "Probably pro ex-demon."
Anya exchanges a look with Spike and replies, "Maybe. I choose to feel threatened."
"You can say that again, sister," Spike grumbles. "Plus, you haven't seen the real nasty yet. Adam's no babe in arms."
"I'm curious if this Adam you keep going on about has anything to do with the warning Ethan gave me. Something called 314," Giles says examining his newly fixed door.
"Well, now that Buffy's all in with them maybe she can poke around and get some answers." Xander squats down to dig in the large toolbox with a frown.
Spike scoffs, "Not likely. She's probably too busy making kissy face with Cornfed."
"Jealous much?" Xander quips digging around in a bag on the stairs next to Spike's hip.
Spike grabs Xander's wrist harshly and practically growls, "Not jealous. Don't care about her or that idiot."
"Settle down, Blondie. I was just kidding," Harris says with surprise and pulls his arm free.
He looks away but he can feel Xander still staring at him. A distraction is in order. "What are you looking for anyway?"
"My palm sander. I'll need it for the new railings before I stain them, and for the plaster on the wall. I think I left it on the workbench back in the basement. I'd better run over and get it."
"I'll go with. Knowing you, you'll get jumped by something."
"Gee, Spike, I didn't know you cared."
"Don't. Just feel like ripping something to shreds."
Xander rolls his eyes and informs the others that they'll be right back. Spike considers pulling the door back off its hinges with an 'oops' but doesn't. He'd hate to hear Harris whine all the way to the basement and back again. The night is quiet and he sets a good pace that has Harris struggling to keep up. They cut across the corner of Peaceful Heights cemetery to save time. A small noise makes Spike freeze.
"What is it?" Xander asks.
"Don't know, can't hear anything with you blabbering."
Spike tilts his head and listens to the sounds of the night trying to find something out of place. Just as he hears something, Xander steps close and then gasps in pain. The boy tumbles forward and Spike catches him dumbfounded. It's the smell that alerts him. The marvelous smell of Xander's warm blood slaps him across the face before he really understands that Xander's been hit. There's more rustling in the distance and he knows that it's the Initiative. Spike throws the boy over his shoulder and runs at a full clip back to Giles' praying that his speed alone will loose the soldiers.
The others jerk in surprise when he bangs back inside. Willow immediately yells for Xander and rushes forward. Spike nudges her out of the way and carefully puts the boy onto a chair.
"What happened?" Giles asks worriedly.
"Soldiers. They shot him."
"What?" Willow asks in surprise.
"They were aiming at me. It's a tracer. Homing device. Whatever. It happened before. I'm a bloody fool for not being more careful. Harris just stepped in the way right before it hit me. We need to do something fast or they'll beat a path right to the fixed door."
Xander jerks up abruptly with a yelp. "Oh god that hurts! What got me?"
"Stay still, Xander. You've been shot. Anya, could you get me some towels please?" Giles says stepping over to retrieve a large medical kit.
"Shot? I've been shot! Oh... oh god! I'm going to die aren't I? Tell me the truth, Willow." When the girl stares at him teary eyed and doesn't answer, he turns to Spike. "Spike, you'd tell me if I was dying, right?"
"Hush. Come on now, get up on the desk so Giles can have a look at you," he says softly and helps the boy up. Giles hands him a pair of scissors and he gently cuts the lad's shirt away. Then, Anya is shaking towels at him with a white face. "Willow, can you take them? I can't use them to stop the blood. Adding pressure will hurt and the sodding chip..."
"Right! On it!"
Spike and Giles lower Xander onto his stomach across Giles' desk as Anya quickly clears it of clutter. The smell of blood is overwhelming and it's all he can do to keep from letting his fangs drop. Giles takes over from Willow and sops the wound to see the damage.
"Anya, there's a bottle of Cognac in the cabinet next to the sink. Can you get it for me?" the Watcher asks. "Willow, get the alcohol from under the sink in the bathroom please."
As soon as the two women step away, Giles shoots him a questioning glance. Spike leans over to take a look. "It looks like it's lodged between his spine and the shoulder blade. I think he'll be okay. It's not too deep. Getting it out is going to be a bitch though."
"Oh god!" Xander murmurs.
The girls return simultaneously with the requested items. Giles puts the towels back over the wound quickly.
"Anya, keep the pressure on with these towels. Spike, help Xander get as much of that Cognac down as he can. It's the closest thing I have to anesthesia. Willow, I need your help with something."
The two step away and start pulling out magic books and talking mumbo-jumbo. Spike pulls a chair around by Xander's head and opens the bottle. The boy's face is pale and he looks scared to death.
"There now, Giles is letting you have the good stuff. A couple of shots of this and you won't mind at all."
Xander's hand reaches out and snags his with a fierce grip. Spike leans him on his side a bit and puts the bottle to his lips. The first tug causes some coughing which makes him wince in pain. The second drink passes with a grimace. From then on though it's smooth sailing. Whenever Xander tries to slow down, Spike pushes the bottle at him again. The quicker he drinks the faster it will hit him. After about half the bottle, the lad's dark eyes are a bit glassy and regard Spike with pained amusement. The hand holding tight to his never once lets go.
By the time Harris is good and pissed, Giles and Willow have their spell sorted. Some chanting from Red and the lights explode around them. Spike curses softly and feels every hair on his body stand on end. When his eyes adjust he realizes just how true that is. They all look as if they've put their fingers in light sockets. Spike slams the bottle down on the desk next to a blinking Xander and tries to flatten his hair back down. It's hard to do one handed.
"I like fireworks," Xander mumbles drunkenly.
Anya gets a flashlight while Giles moves the towels and pulls on a pair of rubber gloves. When she returns, he starts to go to work. Anya looks over and catches sight of him and Xander holding hands.
"What are you doing? I should be holding his hand. I'm his girlfriend."
"That's fine with me if you can pry him off. He's just scared, is all."
Giles snaps, "Quit moving around Anya, I need the light steady. Actually, perhaps you and Spike should switch places. I may need his... expert advice."
They do as the Watcher asks and he finds himself looking over a shoulder at Xander's lightly tanned back. Giles seems to be doing all right and only needs occasional consultation. Anya and Xander, on the other hand, aren't getting on so well.
"Why were you holding Spike's hand? I would have done it for you if you asked."
Xander blinks at her a bit before replying, "Cause I knew he wouldn't make a big deal 's long as he got to watch me bleed."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Anya asks testily.
"Bitch, bitch, bitch 's all you ever do. Blah, blah, blah. I'm never good enough."
Anya looks hurt and asks, "Is that what you really think?"
"No, think you would be worse if... wasn't giving it to you all the time. Keep talking 'bout me not caring, but hell you jus' want a screw and some money."
"That's not true!"
"Isn't? Yeah, really is. Course wouldn't be my girlfriend if wasn't treating me like crap. 'S all I ever get... crap."
"How do you think I feel? All the time you act like you're embarrassed for me to be around!"
"Prob'ly cause I am!" Xander slurs loudly. "You jus' say whatever without thinkin' how other people feel. Don't care how anyone feels."
Anya is close to tears and she jerks away from the table and the drunken hurting man on top of it. "I don't care! None of your obnoxious friends care how I feel. They're always mean just because I used to be a demon. They're never going to like me Xander as long as you refuse to stand up for me."
Her outburst is met by snores. Xander is out for the count. About then, Giles pulls the tracer out triumphantly and shoves it at an embarrassed Willow. She runs for the bathroom and there's a loud flush that causes Spike to sigh in relief.
"I'd better sew this up," Giles says awkwardly. Neither he nor Willow seems to be able to meet Anya's eyes. Spike shoots her a sympathetic look.
"Is he going to be okay?" she asks.
"Yes, I don't think he lost too much blood."
"Good," Anya says quietly and then disappears out the door.
Author: Shade
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG to NC17
Disclaimer: All assorted characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss which is fine, because I suspect Buffy's high maintenance anyway.
Summary: AU-The African demon in Grave grants Spike's wish in a way he never planned. Flung back in time, he has to relive the previous three years with all the knowledge of what's to come.
A/N: Originally beated with a velvet fist by blinding_sight. Certain bits of dialog are taken from the following BtVS episodes:
4:13: The I In Team
Chapter 7: The I In Team
Spike sits on the stairs in Giles' condo watching Xander re-hang the front door properly. Anya is beside him and she appears to be admiring Harris' rear end. He tries not to let the distaste show on his face and from the confused look he gets from Xander, he obviously fails.
"I don't see why we have to help clean up the place. It's not like we went on a destruction spree," Anya says loudly.
"You're telling me," he agrees.
Willow shoots them a dirty look from where she's sweeping. "We're trying to do more stuff together. Poor Giles got all demony because we weren't around to help."
Giles comes out of the kitchen with a tray full of drinks and replies, "I hardly blame you or the others, Willow. It was my own foolishness that got me into that mess. I knew better than to let my guard down in front of Ethan. But I do appreciate the help, especially your skills, Xander. I'd hate to be charged excessively when I move out."
"Don't worry, it'll be good as new when I'm done. I've got all the lumber to fix the railing, and that hole by your mirror just needs a bit of plaster." Xander steps back from the door swinging it with a critical eye before closing it to make sure everything is working to his satisfaction.
"I notice Buffy isn't here helping, even after stabbing you. If I stab you, can I leave?" Spike asks.
As usual, Giles ignores the question, but Willow pipes up. "I guess she's out with Riley and his buddies again."
Xander tosses a screwdriver into his toolbox and pulls out a measuring tape. Anya gets up out of his way and heads for the tray Giles left out. Spike sprawls even more on the stairs not caring if he's in the way or not and receives a kick from Xander for his trouble. He contemplates pinching the boy's leg, but decides a jolt from the chip isn't worth it.
"I think Riley is okay, in an oafish kind of way. And I hate to agree with Spike here, but am I the only one with a big floating question mark over his head about this Initiative thing?" Xander asks while he measures the railing.
"Well, they do seem to fall into the 'good guy' camp. I mean they are anti-demon," Willow says pausing to look at Anya. "Probably pro ex-demon."
Anya exchanges a look with Spike and replies, "Maybe. I choose to feel threatened."
"You can say that again, sister," Spike grumbles. "Plus, you haven't seen the real nasty yet. Adam's no babe in arms."
"I'm curious if this Adam you keep going on about has anything to do with the warning Ethan gave me. Something called 314," Giles says examining his newly fixed door.
"Well, now that Buffy's all in with them maybe she can poke around and get some answers." Xander squats down to dig in the large toolbox with a frown.
Spike scoffs, "Not likely. She's probably too busy making kissy face with Cornfed."
"Jealous much?" Xander quips digging around in a bag on the stairs next to Spike's hip.
Spike grabs Xander's wrist harshly and practically growls, "Not jealous. Don't care about her or that idiot."
"Settle down, Blondie. I was just kidding," Harris says with surprise and pulls his arm free.
He looks away but he can feel Xander still staring at him. A distraction is in order. "What are you looking for anyway?"
"My palm sander. I'll need it for the new railings before I stain them, and for the plaster on the wall. I think I left it on the workbench back in the basement. I'd better run over and get it."
"I'll go with. Knowing you, you'll get jumped by something."
"Gee, Spike, I didn't know you cared."
"Don't. Just feel like ripping something to shreds."
Xander rolls his eyes and informs the others that they'll be right back. Spike considers pulling the door back off its hinges with an 'oops' but doesn't. He'd hate to hear Harris whine all the way to the basement and back again. The night is quiet and he sets a good pace that has Harris struggling to keep up. They cut across the corner of Peaceful Heights cemetery to save time. A small noise makes Spike freeze.
"What is it?" Xander asks.
"Don't know, can't hear anything with you blabbering."
Spike tilts his head and listens to the sounds of the night trying to find something out of place. Just as he hears something, Xander steps close and then gasps in pain. The boy tumbles forward and Spike catches him dumbfounded. It's the smell that alerts him. The marvelous smell of Xander's warm blood slaps him across the face before he really understands that Xander's been hit. There's more rustling in the distance and he knows that it's the Initiative. Spike throws the boy over his shoulder and runs at a full clip back to Giles' praying that his speed alone will loose the soldiers.
The others jerk in surprise when he bangs back inside. Willow immediately yells for Xander and rushes forward. Spike nudges her out of the way and carefully puts the boy onto a chair.
"What happened?" Giles asks worriedly.
"Soldiers. They shot him."
"What?" Willow asks in surprise.
"They were aiming at me. It's a tracer. Homing device. Whatever. It happened before. I'm a bloody fool for not being more careful. Harris just stepped in the way right before it hit me. We need to do something fast or they'll beat a path right to the fixed door."
Xander jerks up abruptly with a yelp. "Oh god that hurts! What got me?"
"Stay still, Xander. You've been shot. Anya, could you get me some towels please?" Giles says stepping over to retrieve a large medical kit.
"Shot? I've been shot! Oh... oh god! I'm going to die aren't I? Tell me the truth, Willow." When the girl stares at him teary eyed and doesn't answer, he turns to Spike. "Spike, you'd tell me if I was dying, right?"
"Hush. Come on now, get up on the desk so Giles can have a look at you," he says softly and helps the boy up. Giles hands him a pair of scissors and he gently cuts the lad's shirt away. Then, Anya is shaking towels at him with a white face. "Willow, can you take them? I can't use them to stop the blood. Adding pressure will hurt and the sodding chip..."
"Right! On it!"
Spike and Giles lower Xander onto his stomach across Giles' desk as Anya quickly clears it of clutter. The smell of blood is overwhelming and it's all he can do to keep from letting his fangs drop. Giles takes over from Willow and sops the wound to see the damage.
"Anya, there's a bottle of Cognac in the cabinet next to the sink. Can you get it for me?" the Watcher asks. "Willow, get the alcohol from under the sink in the bathroom please."
As soon as the two women step away, Giles shoots him a questioning glance. Spike leans over to take a look. "It looks like it's lodged between his spine and the shoulder blade. I think he'll be okay. It's not too deep. Getting it out is going to be a bitch though."
"Oh god!" Xander murmurs.
The girls return simultaneously with the requested items. Giles puts the towels back over the wound quickly.
"Anya, keep the pressure on with these towels. Spike, help Xander get as much of that Cognac down as he can. It's the closest thing I have to anesthesia. Willow, I need your help with something."
The two step away and start pulling out magic books and talking mumbo-jumbo. Spike pulls a chair around by Xander's head and opens the bottle. The boy's face is pale and he looks scared to death.
"There now, Giles is letting you have the good stuff. A couple of shots of this and you won't mind at all."
Xander's hand reaches out and snags his with a fierce grip. Spike leans him on his side a bit and puts the bottle to his lips. The first tug causes some coughing which makes him wince in pain. The second drink passes with a grimace. From then on though it's smooth sailing. Whenever Xander tries to slow down, Spike pushes the bottle at him again. The quicker he drinks the faster it will hit him. After about half the bottle, the lad's dark eyes are a bit glassy and regard Spike with pained amusement. The hand holding tight to his never once lets go.
By the time Harris is good and pissed, Giles and Willow have their spell sorted. Some chanting from Red and the lights explode around them. Spike curses softly and feels every hair on his body stand on end. When his eyes adjust he realizes just how true that is. They all look as if they've put their fingers in light sockets. Spike slams the bottle down on the desk next to a blinking Xander and tries to flatten his hair back down. It's hard to do one handed.
"I like fireworks," Xander mumbles drunkenly.
Anya gets a flashlight while Giles moves the towels and pulls on a pair of rubber gloves. When she returns, he starts to go to work. Anya looks over and catches sight of him and Xander holding hands.
"What are you doing? I should be holding his hand. I'm his girlfriend."
"That's fine with me if you can pry him off. He's just scared, is all."
Giles snaps, "Quit moving around Anya, I need the light steady. Actually, perhaps you and Spike should switch places. I may need his... expert advice."
They do as the Watcher asks and he finds himself looking over a shoulder at Xander's lightly tanned back. Giles seems to be doing all right and only needs occasional consultation. Anya and Xander, on the other hand, aren't getting on so well.
"Why were you holding Spike's hand? I would have done it for you if you asked."
Xander blinks at her a bit before replying, "Cause I knew he wouldn't make a big deal 's long as he got to watch me bleed."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Anya asks testily.
"Bitch, bitch, bitch 's all you ever do. Blah, blah, blah. I'm never good enough."
Anya looks hurt and asks, "Is that what you really think?"
"No, think you would be worse if... wasn't giving it to you all the time. Keep talking 'bout me not caring, but hell you jus' want a screw and some money."
"That's not true!"
"Isn't? Yeah, really is. Course wouldn't be my girlfriend if wasn't treating me like crap. 'S all I ever get... crap."
"How do you think I feel? All the time you act like you're embarrassed for me to be around!"
"Prob'ly cause I am!" Xander slurs loudly. "You jus' say whatever without thinkin' how other people feel. Don't care how anyone feels."
Anya is close to tears and she jerks away from the table and the drunken hurting man on top of it. "I don't care! None of your obnoxious friends care how I feel. They're always mean just because I used to be a demon. They're never going to like me Xander as long as you refuse to stand up for me."
Her outburst is met by snores. Xander is out for the count. About then, Giles pulls the tracer out triumphantly and shoves it at an embarrassed Willow. She runs for the bathroom and there's a loud flush that causes Spike to sigh in relief.
"I'd better sew this up," Giles says awkwardly. Neither he nor Willow seems to be able to meet Anya's eyes. Spike shoots her a sympathetic look.
"Is he going to be okay?" she asks.
"Yes, I don't think he lost too much blood."
"Good," Anya says quietly and then disappears out the door.