tonight
i lay here, sierra's arm wrapped around my waist snuggled up against my back, and ponder a few things. the first being the fact that my little girl worships me. and i wonder why.... my life's a mess. jaded from men, trust issues, cant maintain a relationship, broke, living with my 'rents, pregnant w/out the baby's daddy involved, wronged her father in a big way and mostly riddled with so much guilt it's pathetic. the second issue is the fight between don and i that happened earlier. i think it was inevitable, because of my stupidity, and the fact that he is busy lately. i am using this alone time to figure out what it is i need in a relationship. i've compiled a list, so far it's these things:
-time. i need time to trust, time to get over my head issues.
-patience. i need tons of patience to get over my issues, my insecurities, and my jealousies. none of which last very long.
-i need faithfullness, and tons of forgiveness for the stupid shit i will do.
-i need communication. if this falls apart, what's left???
-affection and reassurance. i need to know you love me... i need to feel it too.
-i need him to prove he's worthy of my affection.
-i need quality time spent together... not too much, but enough to know you care and want to be with me.
-as pink says, "When thunder rolls through my life
Will you be able to weather the storm?" this is the ultimate question because issues in my life may get worse before they get better! when i crash i crash hard and fast... and i need to know someone will be there to help me get through it all.
- respect. respect for my time, my feelings, my daughter's feelings, and anything else i have.
-honesty.
-sincerity.
-tenderness and trust.
- a little less time for the rest of the world, and more for the two of us.
-time. i need time to trust, time to get over my head issues.
-patience. i need tons of patience to get over my issues, my insecurities, and my jealousies. none of which last very long.
-i need faithfullness, and tons of forgiveness for the stupid shit i will do.
-i need communication. if this falls apart, what's left???
-affection and reassurance. i need to know you love me... i need to feel it too.
-i need him to prove he's worthy of my affection.
-i need quality time spent together... not too much, but enough to know you care and want to be with me.
-as pink says, "When thunder rolls through my life
Will you be able to weather the storm?" this is the ultimate question because issues in my life may get worse before they get better! when i crash i crash hard and fast... and i need to know someone will be there to help me get through it all.
- respect. respect for my time, my feelings, my daughter's feelings, and anything else i have.
-honesty.
-sincerity.
-tenderness and trust.
- a little less time for the rest of the world, and more for the two of us.