Boyfriend withdrawing and won't talk to me
This is long, but I need some objective and honest feedback.
Background: I've been with my boyfriend for just over 5 years. Basically it has been a good relationship in many ways. But there have been some issues: 1) I'm autistic and have a lot of problems communicating, and dealing with my emotions. 2) prior to meeting him, I had a long history of abuse. He is only my third partner; the first boyfriend I had was physically and emotionally abusive, raped me when I wouldn't give him a particular thing sexually, and admitted at the end of our relationship that he only used me for sex. The second partner I had wasn't particularly abusive - maybe a little bit emotionally - but he ended our year relationship in the cruellest way possible: by completely disappearing off the face of the earth. It took me about a year to accept and start recovering from that, and to this day I don't understand why someone would do something like that. Anyway, I mention these things because they might be of some significance.
For the last 4 and a half years, my boyfriend and I have done the long distance relationship thing because of his work. It's been very hard at times and I have had to make some pretty big sacrifices, but I love him very much and he's the person that I see myself with in the future. He's never been great at talking about his feelings (he's also quite a bit older than me) but he did often say that he felt the same. And he has always made the effort to come over and see me and for us to spend time together. I never really doubted the way he felt because I've never had any reason to.
Until recently, that is.
For the last few months, there have been issues with his job. The company he works for are making people redundant, if he loses his job then he'll lose his house, there aren't many decently paid jobs around our area... it's hard. I can't quite relate, but I do understand.
Problem is, for these last four weeks he has been basically ignoring me. One phone call - because he basically wanted to have phone sex. If I text him then he will sometimes reply, but only with a very brief response. He never asks how I am, how my day is, anything like that any more. It's just like he doesn't care. I've asked him about it and he says he's just stressed because of the work thing, but... I don't know. It feels like something has changed.
I'm trying to be the supportive and understanding girlfriend, but I don't know what's going on, and it is really starting to damage me emotionally. I don't know what is going on, how I'm supposed to deal with it, how I'm meant to react.
Am I crazy? Is this a normal thing in a long term relationship?
Background: I've been with my boyfriend for just over 5 years. Basically it has been a good relationship in many ways. But there have been some issues: 1) I'm autistic and have a lot of problems communicating, and dealing with my emotions. 2) prior to meeting him, I had a long history of abuse. He is only my third partner; the first boyfriend I had was physically and emotionally abusive, raped me when I wouldn't give him a particular thing sexually, and admitted at the end of our relationship that he only used me for sex. The second partner I had wasn't particularly abusive - maybe a little bit emotionally - but he ended our year relationship in the cruellest way possible: by completely disappearing off the face of the earth. It took me about a year to accept and start recovering from that, and to this day I don't understand why someone would do something like that. Anyway, I mention these things because they might be of some significance.
For the last 4 and a half years, my boyfriend and I have done the long distance relationship thing because of his work. It's been very hard at times and I have had to make some pretty big sacrifices, but I love him very much and he's the person that I see myself with in the future. He's never been great at talking about his feelings (he's also quite a bit older than me) but he did often say that he felt the same. And he has always made the effort to come over and see me and for us to spend time together. I never really doubted the way he felt because I've never had any reason to.
Until recently, that is.
For the last few months, there have been issues with his job. The company he works for are making people redundant, if he loses his job then he'll lose his house, there aren't many decently paid jobs around our area... it's hard. I can't quite relate, but I do understand.
Problem is, for these last four weeks he has been basically ignoring me. One phone call - because he basically wanted to have phone sex. If I text him then he will sometimes reply, but only with a very brief response. He never asks how I am, how my day is, anything like that any more. It's just like he doesn't care. I've asked him about it and he says he's just stressed because of the work thing, but... I don't know. It feels like something has changed.
I'm trying to be the supportive and understanding girlfriend, but I don't know what's going on, and it is really starting to damage me emotionally. I don't know what is going on, how I'm supposed to deal with it, how I'm meant to react.
Am I crazy? Is this a normal thing in a long term relationship?