My mom unloads all of her relationship drama on me
I love my mom, and we've always been really close, but we've gotten a bit too close in the past half a year.
My mom started dating again a couple of years ago after being divorced from my dad for over a decade. Even then, she was very secretive about it and I barely knew anything about these guys at all. Last year, she got into a really bad relationship and she's been on guard ever since, especially since this is the first guy she actually let move in and get involved in me and my brother's lives. Towards the end, she asked for my opinion on various things, but it was occasional.
Now, ever since that relationship ended, she always feels the need to talk to me about all of her relationship drama and it feels like that's all we ever talk about anymore. If we ever hang out, she'll spend 70% of that time talking on the phone with one of her friends (which is equally annoying, especially when she doesn't allow me to be on the phone when we hang out, but it's okay for her), and the rest of the time talking my ear off about her problems. At first, I didn't mind giving her occasional dating advice, but it got super draining after it turned into a constant thing. I feel like we have the same conversation over and over again. Plus, she doesn't hold anything back at all, and while I'm close with my mom, I REALLY don't need to know the details of her sex life. I try and cut her some slack because she married my dad when she was 17 and has never really dated before that (for clarification, she's from a third world country where arranged marriage is still a thing), but I feel like there's only so much advice I can give her, especially when she doesn't listen to me half of the time. I've asked her why she doesn't talk to her friends about this stuff instead of me, and she's told me she doesn't trust any of her friends, which makes no sense to me at all.
I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she's acting like my high school friends did when they started dating, and I really don't have the patience to deal with high school drama anymore. If this were any other friend, I would have told her off, but since she's my mom, I'm having a more difficult time. How can I let her know that as gently as possible?
My mom started dating again a couple of years ago after being divorced from my dad for over a decade. Even then, she was very secretive about it and I barely knew anything about these guys at all. Last year, she got into a really bad relationship and she's been on guard ever since, especially since this is the first guy she actually let move in and get involved in me and my brother's lives. Towards the end, she asked for my opinion on various things, but it was occasional.
Now, ever since that relationship ended, she always feels the need to talk to me about all of her relationship drama and it feels like that's all we ever talk about anymore. If we ever hang out, she'll spend 70% of that time talking on the phone with one of her friends (which is equally annoying, especially when she doesn't allow me to be on the phone when we hang out, but it's okay for her), and the rest of the time talking my ear off about her problems. At first, I didn't mind giving her occasional dating advice, but it got super draining after it turned into a constant thing. I feel like we have the same conversation over and over again. Plus, she doesn't hold anything back at all, and while I'm close with my mom, I REALLY don't need to know the details of her sex life. I try and cut her some slack because she married my dad when she was 17 and has never really dated before that (for clarification, she's from a third world country where arranged marriage is still a thing), but I feel like there's only so much advice I can give her, especially when she doesn't listen to me half of the time. I've asked her why she doesn't talk to her friends about this stuff instead of me, and she's told me she doesn't trust any of her friends, which makes no sense to me at all.
I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she's acting like my high school friends did when they started dating, and I really don't have the patience to deal with high school drama anymore. If this were any other friend, I would have told her off, but since she's my mom, I'm having a more difficult time. How can I let her know that as gently as possible?