Feeling Low
is very very flat tonight! I've been trying to not feel like this, to pretend everything is alright but I dont feel it is! But if I let it show everyone will ask whats wrong and theres no trigger ... I just feel low.
A quote keeps popping into my head from research day last year "Excitement is just defered disappointment". It was talking about possible breakthroughs in research and how often pre-lim experiments show something is significant when its actually not when using different animals, a larger trial group or more in depth analysis. But I feel thats my life.
I was so happy with how productive I've been the past few days but its not enough. I will keep being productive over the next few weeks. I have no choice. But I am the lab working hard and getting things done from about 9 to 5 most days and my two friends get in around 10:30 and leave about 3!!! Thats when they show up. And they dont work anywhere near as hard as I do! and their supervisors gave them great marks for their progress report, me I got that I need to work on time management because I was slow to get into things when we started. ITS NOT FAIR!!!
I have a research update seminar in two weeks, the final seminar in 7 weeks and my thesis due in 9 weeks. So stress is looming. I have no idea where to start on any of it. I hardly know what they actually want!!! But I'm trying to do as much as I can before the major stress out. I have one week to convert my methods into paragraphs rather then step by step instructions, two weeks if I am pushing it. Two weeks to finish my lab work, if it goes smoothly.
Ok so maybe thats why I'm low but I feel as if I am just using it as an excuse on why I am low.
Anyway Guess I should go to bed since I'm going to be heading to the lab at 6am tomorrow so I can get my reactions done. It normally wouldnt have to be that early, but I have tutoring in the afternoon so 12-5pm is a write off (at least I'm being paid), and i really want to ge them to the point of posting them off wednesday morning. I can't even work the evening as I have dancing. I love dancing but here it is being another thing on the to do list.
I dont really want to go to bed but I need to. I know if I dont I'm going to wear myself out. On the plus side if I dont get my new reagents in the post tomorrow or wed morn I should be able to take off wed arvo and do something I want to do and start fresh thursday!!!
Night
Dash