love my mikey
so, i fortruly do have THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER! saturday after our competition at lawrence central i went to his house for a bit because we didn't make finals and we got home at like, 9:30. so, we were talkin and stuff and he mentioned how he was gonna quit crew. that makes me sad because i love having him at the competitions and i told him that i really needed him. but he hates it. he's given so much up for it and it's because of me. he told me the only reason he's stayed in it this long was because of me. made me feel good but horrible at the same time. he's subjected himself to all this crap for me... so i told him that i needed him so much all the time and i didn't know what i was gonna do next year when i wouldn't get to see him everyday. we started talkin about college and he told me that we'd talk everday when i get IN. and i told him that wasn't enough. i'm not gonna do so hot not seeing him everyday of my life. i started crying because it's really upsetting to me. he's the first guy i've ever been this attatched to. he makes me feel so good and i love him with all my heart. but i'm truly broken hearted about him going off to college. i expressed that to him that night and i think he almost cried because he appoligized and was saying that he didn't mean to bring up such a sore subject. i tried to tell him how i was trying not to express how broken up about it i was. but then i just let it all go and bawled on him. so, after that, i went home and cried myself to sleep. but yesterday (wednesday) i was over at his house after our little escapade at wal-mart. and he hands me this blank cd and was like, what do you want me to title it as? i was like, i dunno... what's on it? he told me i had to go home and listen to it and then i'd understand. but i told him to name it mikey and rachel. so he did but added "long nights." to the bottom. i asked him what it meant but he didn't explain until i called him. see, i get home and put the cd in, press play and the opening cords to "waiting on an angel" by ben harper played and i BAWLED! no lie, i sat down and cried like a little baby. i clicked through the rest of the cd and it had picture by dc, miss you by incubus, a couple jack jonson songs, couple ben harper, coheed and cambria, and she will be loved by maroon 5. so i call him and first off, still bawling i go"you're so mean! how are you gonna do this to me when i'm pms'ing!!!" he kinda giggled but he was like i'm sorry baby. but i was like i'm just kidding, this is the best compilation of songs i've EVER heard in my life and i love it. he proceeded to explain that the "long nights" was for me when we're off at college and i miss him, i can just listen to it and remember all the times when we listened to those songs and smiled, laughed, cried and whatever. that of course made me cry more. i seriously could not ask for a better boyfriend. he's the biggest blessing in my life. he is the reason i've stopped all the stupid stuff i've done and he continues to draw me away from it all everyday. college will be hard, but he said this to me, "i know i love you and you love me. our love will get us through it baby." and a while ago daniel mentioned, "if you love him as much as you say you do, time and distance shouldn't matter. in esence, you're saying two hours is too much for you to remain with him." that hit me hard, but really makes sense. i can't even begin to explain what that boy makes me feel inside. i see him almost everyday and i seriously woudn't have it any other way. i love him with all my heart and i know that we've conquered whatever trials we've faced so far and will do so with any trials to come. yay!