D'oh!

[dascully]

This has been one of those days where I realized unpleasant things about myself. I hate those days. :) I realized that I'm not exactly above disliking people for stupid reasons. Well...maybe the reasons aren't so stupid, but I still shouldn't dislike people for them. I can't help it. People who inflict emotional pain are hard to like. Sadly, I'm

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[hercircumstance]

I do the same thing. I seem to be always saying that, but it is true. Uselessly bad thought are one of those things I just have to fight every time it comes up. I am not that good at it, especially if people are getting me wound up about it when talking about "way back when" things at college. Maybe have J make you accountable for it like a swearing tip jar would at work. If you notice people seem to be prompting you to make comments or thoughts on the nasty person change subjects so you don't have to contribute.

Things I do to curb it:

A) Are these people still in your life? If not it is hardly worth giving them a thought, right? We are busy people with things to do and it is doubtful they are filling their time and head space with thoughts of you in return. In the end you are just letting negativity in for no reason. They did the crime, but you seem to be doing the time. Don't let yourself spend time thinking about them.

B) Were you clean as roses? I had some roommates I didn't get along with and who I still get into a hissy fit about today if prompted, but at my most rational moments I realize I was part of the problem too. Perhaps you can let both you and the other dude off the hook and move on if you had made contributions to the nastiness in any way (even with calculated inaction in some cases).

C) Train yourself to feel something different when you think of them. It isn't like reconciliation is always a feasible option, but on your side of it you can close the book on that chapter and let yourself let it go.