The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner (Part III)

[das_mervin]

Right. Part II ended with some bonding over covering up the stuff that Kevin and his group did and some theft, but then ZOMG when they went home they discovered the house was totally destroyed and these vampires think that sunlight kills them, but no problem, Diego has a hideout, a little underwater cave, where they shared their respective angsty

Comments

[seiyonashi]

...I don't blame you for going nuclear. Damn that was stupid. And Diego being *~dazzling~* was just cheesy and lame. Keep failing there, SMeyer.

[lisaerin]

Thank you so much for sporking this. I really appreciate it. Meyer really fails at being edgy. I think the whole BFF, secret handshake and what not was kind of amusing. Maybe she should have just called it a parody. I love fandom nods. They're like little inside jokes. But with Meyer it's like she's trying to be cool or redeem herself for the sparkling vampires. That being said, it's three months and they haven't found out any of the vampire mythology was false? Idiots. I do think that this series would have been better if it had been satire, or the characters were supposed to be assholes. If we had established them to psychotic assholes who didn't care about human life from the get-go, then Bree saying she would have killed someone who walked in for ruining the moment wouldn't have bothered me because it would have been something a psycho would have done. Bree and Diego's relationship is horrible. I know that some people can fall in love quickly, but this is like bad fanfiction. She spends most of her time not trusting him, then she

[kawaiicow]

Well, I do believe that Bree was dazzling and dazzled.

They have a secret BFF club? With a super-special-awesome secret handshake? And, like, ohmygod they should totally go shopping together, coz, like, thats what BFFs do, right? But, wait, they are supposed to be in love. Romantic love, not platonic love.

And does anyone else think that it looks like Meyer is trying to give us a gay scare? I'm finding it hard to believe that Meyer wasn't trying to insinuate something, but maybe its my Yaoi mind trying to salvage the story for me reading way too far into things.

Heehee, I don't beleive that these are slum kids at all. I don't even think these kids are over 12 (even the violence sounds like it came from a child on X-BOX Live). Meyer seems to have regressed from a 14 year old to a 12 year old. Well done Meyer, well done.

[shaolina]

XD They should go get manipedis and watch Labyrinth and 300. You know Diego rents it saying "it's action packed and reminds him of the comic" but really gets it for the half naked men running around oiled up. XD And Riley sits beside him, arms on him being "supportive of his tastes and approves of his bloodlust" while the other vamps glare because they know how much Riley likes his favorite. They even bitchfight about it in secret and Diego has to defend his love every night

[sylvacoer]

You do realize you might as well write the fic at this point, right?

[shaolina]

But I suck at writing fanfics (and English is my second language).

Well, technically I wrote on by accident when I was talking with Gehayi. In my defense I was bored.

[shaolina]

First of all, "No estoy quemando." is incorrect in context. This says I'm not burning as in I'm not burning the Twilight series, even though I want to. "No estoy quemado" or "No me estoy quemando" is the correct and still casual

[gehayi]

Oh, man, now I want spitefic where Bree hears noise and goes to investigate...and walks in on Riley and Diego fucking. (Premarital underpants, oh noes!) Bonus points if she blurts out that she's in love with Diego and Diego's reaction is, "What the hell are you talking about?"

[shaolina]

That would be awesome, except that it would be OOC. You know they are totally boinking the daylight away, Duh. XD But Bree's nature is to sit down doing nothing, not investigate anything and bend reality to her tastes. When she hears thumping and breaking furniture she just assumes they are:

1) Training
2) Playing music
3) Horsing around

Because she's delusional from her boring life.

[gehayi]

Sadly, you're right. Bree Tanner is less curious than Books-6-and-7 Harry Potter, and that's going some.

Just the same, I want to see if it can be done. Maybe Riley and Diego can have a bet about how long it will take Bree to figure out that they're lovers. And they go out of their way to be really obvious about it.

Layers of Racefail

[gehayi]

Did you notice? Diego's color has definitely changed as a result of vamping. Meyer doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to come out and SAY it, but she keeps talking about how clear, how bright, how prismatic Bree and Diego are

Re: Layers of Racefail

[zelda_queen]

Which is kind of hilarious, when you consider that Miriam, Moses's sister, was turned WHITE as a punishment for speaking out against the woman he married.

Re: Layers of Racefail

[gehayi]

Yep. Numbers 12:10.

And the cloud departed from off the tabernacle; and, behold, Miriam became leprous, white as snow: and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, she was leprous.

Granted, it is the whiteness of a terminal illness, not the whiteness of sparklitude. But still.

I'd like to point out that both Miriam and Aaron complained about Moses marrying an Ethiopian woman, contrary to the law of God (Exodus 34:11-16, Deuteronomy 7:1-6 and 1 Kings 11:1-2). But Miriam was the only one who got the divine bitchslap for daring to say that Moses should, y'know, do what God said.

More often than not, the Old Testament God is kind of a dick. Okay, he heals Miriam, but he didn't have to make her sick in the first place.

Re: Layers of Racefail

[zelda_queen]

Yeah, Lewis Black put it pretty well. Old Testament God was a jerk, New Testament was a lot nicer.