Sun Tzu Says
Title: Sun Tzu Says
Author: das_kabinett/Becca
Rating: PG
Length: Around 1000 words.
Spoilers: End of S1/Start of S2
Summary: He was not a hysterical military wife; he was absolutely not. He was reasonable and rational and 100% right and Sheppard wasn't going to get out of this by bleating.
A/N: Thank you so much to my beloved hypothalamus for the beta! I wrote this in the middle of an IR class.
Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting. --Sun Tzu
The first time Rodney McKay got John Sheppard in private after Sheppard attempted suicide via nuclear warhead, he threw Elizabeth's copy of the Art of War at his head.
John said, "Ow--" rubbing his head, his hair mysteriously not being flattened by either impact or response -- "what the hell did you do that for?"
"You've clearly never read it," Rodney said, leaning down to pick it up and pushing it into Sheppard's chest. He felt a vicious little burst of satisfaction when Sheppard stumbled back, glancing at the book.
"I mean, I have, Rodney. It's required everywhere," he said, sounding confused. He drew Rodney's name out in his completely obnoxious, completely unique way because his name wasn't Rahdneee and Sheppard was the only one who couldn't figure that out.
"I know that, I know that, do you know how long I've been in the military? That it is so not the point, because you clearly had kinky sex with the teacher instead of actually passing the class, because you should have to understand it because--"
"Kinky sex? Jesus, Rodney."
"Shut up! Also not the point!"
"I know, but how much porn do you watch?" John looked somewhat amused, in that way he did, where he cocked his hip, tilted his head and smiled a slick little smile. It was sharp and completely false: a public smile. Rodney hated that smile and he felt his own lips curling in response.
"Shut up, still not the point. Anyway, maybe I'm giving military intelligence too much credit, but I thought, I thought that you would, you know, follow the crucial military text? I'm not an unreasonable person. I wouldn't expect a grunt be intelligent. He can throw his life away to save us all, in fact, I'm totally cool with that because its his job to be short sighted--"
"Rodney," Sheppard said and Rodney really hated the pacifying note in the voice. He was not a hysterical military wife; he was absolutely not. He was reasonable and rational and 100% right and Sheppard wasn't going to get out of this by bleating.
"No no no no no, you are not allowed to speak, you are only allowed to stand there and look contrite for being dumb and pouty doesn't count as contrite, so don't even try it. Riding a nuke a la Dr. Strangelove is stupid. It's really really dumb."
"Rodney, I've already gotten this lecture from Elizabeth," Sheppard said, and at least he sounded irritated.
"Yeah, but you've gotten a lot of unlisted lectures from COs and she's too nice. To you especially; it's disgusting." Rodney said.
Sheppard rolled his eyes but Rodney kept on going.
"But hey, despite that remarkable thickheadedness, you now are a CO and you are totally not getting it, totally not getting," Rodney said, his hand fluttering at John, before reaching up to touch his own hair, tugging it. It was a habit that was probably the cause for his hair loss, but this situation was worth it.
"People need you, Major John Sheppard. You are a leader and a hero, and as much as I hate to say it, people trust you."
Sheppard's face softened into something Rodney recognized more as John. He took a step toward Rodney, causing Rodney to cross his arms over his chest and try to look threatening.
John touched his arm and said, "I didn't mean to leave you."
Rodney grit his teeth and swatted him away, "No, I'm not going to let you do that either. Yes, I'm pissed you wanted to kill yourself with something I made, yes, I'd miss you but that is so not the point right now."
Sheppard's mouth tightened and he backed up, settling into a posture that was almost parade rest, his head tilted back. Rodney had to look up to see his eyes and he really hated that. He lifted his hand and yanked down John's chin, not caring if it hurt.
"I just want you to listen to me, okay? I'm berating you because you are stupid --you are very stupid-- but you won't learn anything unless you listen," Rodney tried to make his voice soft and gentling. He wasn't very good at that in most situations, but he's been around cats his entire life; he's gotten to be a good herder of things he cares for.
"You have to let people die, John," Rodney said and John pulled his face away. Rodney let him go.
"My job is to protect people," John said, "I'm not going to let this operation be obliterated because I'm not willing to do that."
Rodney clasped his own forehead and took a breath, nudging the book on the floor with his foot.
"No. Your job is to lead people who protect people," Rodney said, "Your job, John, is not to die and to tell the person who's job it is to die that he has to die."
"Or she," John said, "We were told not to be gendered just after we read Sun Tzu."
"Oh my god" Rodney said. He felt he was perfectly justified in throwing a pen at him, so he did.
"Fuck you, seriously. You call me arrogant--" when John opened his mouth, Rodney waved his hand dismissively at him and went on "-- yes, yes and I am, but you don't listen. I'm trying to tell you that people need you to lead them"
John stepped forward and touched Rodney again and this time Rodney let him, because he needed that contact. He wanted to be touched, goddamnit, and so John could put his hand on Rodney's shoulder. His fingers curled into Rodney's skin, the tee-shirt bunching underneath them, and Rodney probably reeked of sweat, but John wouldn't care; it was hardly a strange scent for them.
"I'm sorry I scared you," John said. Rodney threw up a hand and whacked his head, wondering if he rehearsed these lines. Rodney had a sudden clear image of him in front of the mirror, all earnest, telling himself that he should have been more careful and that he wouldn't do it again.
"You're stupid," Rodney said, when John leaned forward and pressed his fingers into the line of skin between Rodney's pants and his shirt, reminding Rodney with vibrant clarity of where John had bit him the night before, "you are so stupid."
And John was warm and familiar and there and wrong, so wrong, but Rodney could only whisper his objections and he couldn't make himself refuse and he didn't think that he should refuse, because John wouldn't learn with words.
Maybe, Rodney thought, moving closer and kissing him, remembering how John genuinely softened when he thought Rodney was frightened, noticing how John touched as if he needed the reassurance, maybe this would teach him.
Author: das_kabinett/Becca
Rating: PG
Length: Around 1000 words.
Spoilers: End of S1/Start of S2
Summary: He was not a hysterical military wife; he was absolutely not. He was reasonable and rational and 100% right and Sheppard wasn't going to get out of this by bleating.
A/N: Thank you so much to my beloved hypothalamus for the beta! I wrote this in the middle of an IR class.
Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting. --Sun Tzu
The first time Rodney McKay got John Sheppard in private after Sheppard attempted suicide via nuclear warhead, he threw Elizabeth's copy of the Art of War at his head.
John said, "Ow--" rubbing his head, his hair mysteriously not being flattened by either impact or response -- "what the hell did you do that for?"
"You've clearly never read it," Rodney said, leaning down to pick it up and pushing it into Sheppard's chest. He felt a vicious little burst of satisfaction when Sheppard stumbled back, glancing at the book.
"I mean, I have, Rodney. It's required everywhere," he said, sounding confused. He drew Rodney's name out in his completely obnoxious, completely unique way because his name wasn't Rahdneee and Sheppard was the only one who couldn't figure that out.
"I know that, I know that, do you know how long I've been in the military? That it is so not the point, because you clearly had kinky sex with the teacher instead of actually passing the class, because you should have to understand it because--"
"Kinky sex? Jesus, Rodney."
"Shut up! Also not the point!"
"I know, but how much porn do you watch?" John looked somewhat amused, in that way he did, where he cocked his hip, tilted his head and smiled a slick little smile. It was sharp and completely false: a public smile. Rodney hated that smile and he felt his own lips curling in response.
"Shut up, still not the point. Anyway, maybe I'm giving military intelligence too much credit, but I thought, I thought that you would, you know, follow the crucial military text? I'm not an unreasonable person. I wouldn't expect a grunt be intelligent. He can throw his life away to save us all, in fact, I'm totally cool with that because its his job to be short sighted--"
"Rodney," Sheppard said and Rodney really hated the pacifying note in the voice. He was not a hysterical military wife; he was absolutely not. He was reasonable and rational and 100% right and Sheppard wasn't going to get out of this by bleating.
"No no no no no, you are not allowed to speak, you are only allowed to stand there and look contrite for being dumb and pouty doesn't count as contrite, so don't even try it. Riding a nuke a la Dr. Strangelove is stupid. It's really really dumb."
"Rodney, I've already gotten this lecture from Elizabeth," Sheppard said, and at least he sounded irritated.
"Yeah, but you've gotten a lot of unlisted lectures from COs and she's too nice. To you especially; it's disgusting." Rodney said.
Sheppard rolled his eyes but Rodney kept on going.
"But hey, despite that remarkable thickheadedness, you now are a CO and you are totally not getting it, totally not getting," Rodney said, his hand fluttering at John, before reaching up to touch his own hair, tugging it. It was a habit that was probably the cause for his hair loss, but this situation was worth it.
"People need you, Major John Sheppard. You are a leader and a hero, and as much as I hate to say it, people trust you."
Sheppard's face softened into something Rodney recognized more as John. He took a step toward Rodney, causing Rodney to cross his arms over his chest and try to look threatening.
John touched his arm and said, "I didn't mean to leave you."
Rodney grit his teeth and swatted him away, "No, I'm not going to let you do that either. Yes, I'm pissed you wanted to kill yourself with something I made, yes, I'd miss you but that is so not the point right now."
Sheppard's mouth tightened and he backed up, settling into a posture that was almost parade rest, his head tilted back. Rodney had to look up to see his eyes and he really hated that. He lifted his hand and yanked down John's chin, not caring if it hurt.
"I just want you to listen to me, okay? I'm berating you because you are stupid --you are very stupid-- but you won't learn anything unless you listen," Rodney tried to make his voice soft and gentling. He wasn't very good at that in most situations, but he's been around cats his entire life; he's gotten to be a good herder of things he cares for.
"You have to let people die, John," Rodney said and John pulled his face away. Rodney let him go.
"My job is to protect people," John said, "I'm not going to let this operation be obliterated because I'm not willing to do that."
Rodney clasped his own forehead and took a breath, nudging the book on the floor with his foot.
"No. Your job is to lead people who protect people," Rodney said, "Your job, John, is not to die and to tell the person who's job it is to die that he has to die."
"Or she," John said, "We were told not to be gendered just after we read Sun Tzu."
"Oh my god" Rodney said. He felt he was perfectly justified in throwing a pen at him, so he did.
"Fuck you, seriously. You call me arrogant--" when John opened his mouth, Rodney waved his hand dismissively at him and went on "-- yes, yes and I am, but you don't listen. I'm trying to tell you that people need you to lead them"
John stepped forward and touched Rodney again and this time Rodney let him, because he needed that contact. He wanted to be touched, goddamnit, and so John could put his hand on Rodney's shoulder. His fingers curled into Rodney's skin, the tee-shirt bunching underneath them, and Rodney probably reeked of sweat, but John wouldn't care; it was hardly a strange scent for them.
"I'm sorry I scared you," John said. Rodney threw up a hand and whacked his head, wondering if he rehearsed these lines. Rodney had a sudden clear image of him in front of the mirror, all earnest, telling himself that he should have been more careful and that he wouldn't do it again.
"You're stupid," Rodney said, when John leaned forward and pressed his fingers into the line of skin between Rodney's pants and his shirt, reminding Rodney with vibrant clarity of where John had bit him the night before, "you are so stupid."
And John was warm and familiar and there and wrong, so wrong, but Rodney could only whisper his objections and he couldn't make himself refuse and he didn't think that he should refuse, because John wouldn't learn with words.
Maybe, Rodney thought, moving closer and kissing him, remembering how John genuinely softened when he thought Rodney was frightened, noticing how John touched as if he needed the reassurance, maybe this would teach him.