We have found the enemy and he is us.
This is something I shared with a friend recently and I wanted to spread it a little wider.
I think I am coming to realize that a broken sense of self worth is kind of akin to victim blaming.
Bear with me here while I explain a bit. I know that this is a simplification as there are certainly things about myself and some things I have done that I am not happy about or OK with, and there are things that have happened to me that have caused me to severely question my self worth, but I am learning that defining myself based on another's actions is not OK either. Blaming myself for not receiving the love I needed is misplaced, just because it happened to me, doesn't mean it is because of me, that I deserved it, or that I was completely responsible for bringing it on myself. One of the most helpful exercises my therapist has worked with me on is to imagine one of my kids, or someone I care about in the same situation, and think about what I would say to them. How would I support them? Then try to apply that same compassion to myself. She calls it re-parenting yourself, and I think it can apply to more than just childhood traumas.
I am learning to allow myself the same compassion I freely give to others.
I think I am coming to realize that a broken sense of self worth is kind of akin to victim blaming.
Bear with me here while I explain a bit. I know that this is a simplification as there are certainly things about myself and some things I have done that I am not happy about or OK with, and there are things that have happened to me that have caused me to severely question my self worth, but I am learning that defining myself based on another's actions is not OK either. Blaming myself for not receiving the love I needed is misplaced, just because it happened to me, doesn't mean it is because of me, that I deserved it, or that I was completely responsible for bringing it on myself. One of the most helpful exercises my therapist has worked with me on is to imagine one of my kids, or someone I care about in the same situation, and think about what I would say to them. How would I support them? Then try to apply that same compassion to myself. She calls it re-parenting yourself, and I think it can apply to more than just childhood traumas.
I am learning to allow myself the same compassion I freely give to others.