(no subject)
I'm playing this game right now, new enough to thinking that my brain operation might not be standard, where my brain occasionally tries to insert that no, really, don't be silly, my brain operation is TOTALLY normal and standard. No really. REALLY!
Yeah, no. No, brain. This doesn't fly when it takes me 20 minutes to drag my ass out of bed because I literally can't connect the dots from "turn off alarm" to "sit up". I'm not falling back asleep, I'm just laying there with my brain stuck mid way through the boot up cycle, blank screen of doom - white noise hum in my head and NOTHING, and no ability to find the damned gear shift to actually get going. At least, not until the cat jumped on me and meowed repeatedly in my face, and that finally kicked me into moving because Xena has a remarkable ability for a five pound cat to channel gravity through her paws into fiery points of heavy crushing pressure while she's standing on you, preferably on my tits. Ow. >_< Thank you, furry alarm clock.
And then I get up, stumble into the shower, and even that doesn't wake me up. I'm moving in slow motion in molasses, feeling like shit. And I vaguely remember oh, yeah, this was how every morning felt pre-adderall. Huh. Imagine that. Mostly I sit and go jfc, how did I ever get upright and functional? >_<
Now it's several hours later, I took my pills, they kicked in halfway through the commute when I started being able to string words together again, and now I feel 'normal'. But no, silly brain. NO. The actually legit 'normal' I'm feeling right now does not just spontaneously happen. 'Normal' used to be that really spectacularly sucktastic feeling I woke up with. Let's not call that normal, okay? Let's not hold that up as the standard. It sucks.
Crossposted from Dreamwidth. ::
bunnies - Feed a bunny
Yeah, no. No, brain. This doesn't fly when it takes me 20 minutes to drag my ass out of bed because I literally can't connect the dots from "turn off alarm" to "sit up". I'm not falling back asleep, I'm just laying there with my brain stuck mid way through the boot up cycle, blank screen of doom - white noise hum in my head and NOTHING, and no ability to find the damned gear shift to actually get going. At least, not until the cat jumped on me and meowed repeatedly in my face, and that finally kicked me into moving because Xena has a remarkable ability for a five pound cat to channel gravity through her paws into fiery points of heavy crushing pressure while she's standing on you, preferably on my tits. Ow. >_< Thank you, furry alarm clock.
And then I get up, stumble into the shower, and even that doesn't wake me up. I'm moving in slow motion in molasses, feeling like shit. And I vaguely remember oh, yeah, this was how every morning felt pre-adderall. Huh. Imagine that. Mostly I sit and go jfc, how did I ever get upright and functional? >_<
Now it's several hours later, I took my pills, they kicked in halfway through the commute when I started being able to string words together again, and now I feel 'normal'. But no, silly brain. NO. The actually legit 'normal' I'm feeling right now does not just spontaneously happen. 'Normal' used to be that really spectacularly sucktastic feeling I woke up with. Let's not call that normal, okay? Let's not hold that up as the standard. It sucks.
Crossposted from Dreamwidth. ::
bunnies - Feed a bunny