If you don't want the truth don't ask me how i am.
It hurts. It hurts all the time. It is a dull pain in my chest that makes it hard to breath. She Broke My Heart. I loved her top to bottom left to right and every damn thing inbetween. I loved her unconditionally. There was nothing in the world I wouldn't have done for her. I lover her all the way. All i wanted was for her to love me. She didn't even need to love me the way I loved her. For what ever reason she didn't want me any more. she didn't want me to love her any more. And she didn't love me anymore. And GOD DAMN does that hurt. It hurts more than i ever thought it could. After a week I begged her to make it stop hurting, to take me back. I said i would do anything. It was sad. she said she couldn't or wouldn't. I couldn't take the pain anymore. The only way i knew to stop the pain was for her to love me. And as i said she wouldn't or couldn't do that.
It has only been one week. I have been in the worst emotional pain of my life for a week. All i have wanted to do all day is cry. to ball like a little baby. But i couldn't cry and that made it all the more painful. I wanted the pian to end and i didn't care how. It just hurt too damn much. I couldn't deal with it. I don't know what stopped me form crashing my car on the drive back, and i don't know what got me to call my dad. I just did, and then i started to cry, and it felt good. I remmeber how good crying could feel from when i was a kid. I haven't cried in a very long time. I have been close once or twice. but i have never felt safe enough to cry. I know that i am going to need to cry a lot more before the is going to hurt any less.
I thought i knew what a broken heart felt like but i was wrong.
God i still want it to stop hurting but i know it wont stop untill it is done. I will recover in time. God only knows how long that is going to be. Untill then I am going to keep breathing and keep moving and maybe try to have a little fun. BTW Brad your an ASS but i love you anyway.
My comp is making a stupid funny sound and think i am going to have to kill it to make it stop.
I love you all my friends
Dan.