April 20th: National High-Five Day and Love-a-Teen Day
So after almost twenty-one years of being alive, I've honestly come to terms with the fact that no matter how good my life is, I'm always going to be really miserable and feel the need to take out all of my wallowing and self-pity on people less intelligent than myself. Now, I understand that many people are thinking to themselves, 'Well gee golly gosh, if you're so upset, why don't you just find something to make yourself happy? :) lol'
And to that, I say...
So today is 420, a very key holiday in the process of destroying my already shattered faith in humanity. Even when I did smoke weed and especially now that I don't, I never honestly understood the point in 420. It's not that I mind the idea of people setting aside a day to smoke weed, most people that really take the idea seriously don't have jobs anyway, but I have seriously considered ways of mass murder to kill the sheep and tools that talk about 420 like they have their heads stuck up their asses.
For instance, if someone were to say 'Hey man, it's Hitler's birthday, smoke weed,' I believe I would calmly kick their testicles back up into their body to keep them from reproducing and contaminating the rest of the world. Hearing someone rant on about how Hitler's birthday is a legit excuse to celebrate anything rates right up with hearing Tom Cruise talk about Scientology on my bullshitometer. Pure goddamn ignorance.
Hitler with munchies.
It's even worse with the people that try to convince me that the reason for 420 is that it's the anniversary of Bob Marley's birth or death. Double wrong. Not sure of the dates myself, but there are 364/1 odds you're a complete fucking idiot if you guess that for either date. (365/1 odds on leap years)
And I won't even get started on Columbine. No one will shoot up any of the high schools around here as long as Wal Mart sells shitty guns.
So, in hopes that next year I won't have to deal with dipshits asking me to 'hook them up' this year or having to read random Yahoo! stats that make me want to smash my face into my monitor, I'm going to explain the most plausible origins of 420.
1. Not Hitler, Marley, or Columbine.
2. Sometime in the '70s, a group of high school kids in either San Jose or San Rafael would always meet near a watertower after classes and smoke, usually around 4:20 PM.
3. Possibly from a writing by H.P. Lovecraft in which he mentions being under a 'mirage-plant's pervasive influence' at 4:20.
4. Marijuana had been found growing wild on Highway 420 in Canada.
5. A mean trick by God to make me hate impressionable fuckers like some of you.
/also National High-Five Day
//and even National Love-a-Teen Day
///would love a teen myself but I don't know where my girlfriend is
And to that, I say...
So today is 420, a very key holiday in the process of destroying my already shattered faith in humanity. Even when I did smoke weed and especially now that I don't, I never honestly understood the point in 420. It's not that I mind the idea of people setting aside a day to smoke weed, most people that really take the idea seriously don't have jobs anyway, but I have seriously considered ways of mass murder to kill the sheep and tools that talk about 420 like they have their heads stuck up their asses.
For instance, if someone were to say 'Hey man, it's Hitler's birthday, smoke weed,' I believe I would calmly kick their testicles back up into their body to keep them from reproducing and contaminating the rest of the world. Hearing someone rant on about how Hitler's birthday is a legit excuse to celebrate anything rates right up with hearing Tom Cruise talk about Scientology on my bullshitometer. Pure goddamn ignorance.
Hitler with munchies.
It's even worse with the people that try to convince me that the reason for 420 is that it's the anniversary of Bob Marley's birth or death. Double wrong. Not sure of the dates myself, but there are 364/1 odds you're a complete fucking idiot if you guess that for either date. (365/1 odds on leap years)
And I won't even get started on Columbine. No one will shoot up any of the high schools around here as long as Wal Mart sells shitty guns.
So, in hopes that next year I won't have to deal with dipshits asking me to 'hook them up' this year or having to read random Yahoo! stats that make me want to smash my face into my monitor, I'm going to explain the most plausible origins of 420.
1. Not Hitler, Marley, or Columbine.
2. Sometime in the '70s, a group of high school kids in either San Jose or San Rafael would always meet near a watertower after classes and smoke, usually around 4:20 PM.
3. Possibly from a writing by H.P. Lovecraft in which he mentions being under a 'mirage-plant's pervasive influence' at 4:20.
4. Marijuana had been found growing wild on Highway 420 in Canada.
5. A mean trick by God to make me hate impressionable fuckers like some of you.
/also National High-Five Day
//and even National Love-a-Teen Day
///would love a teen myself but I don't know where my girlfriend is