This was never supposed to happen
I can't believe this is actually happening. My life has completely turned upside down and nothing makes sense anymore. We think my dad is having an affair. My dad. The man who raised me to believe that affairs were sins and you would burn in Hell for them. The man who taught me that when you married someone that you held true to your vows and you were faithful to that person for the rest of your life. I want to believe this isn't happening but I don't think I can deny it anymore. I mean I knew he had been acting weird (i.e. not wearing his wedding ring, getting a cell phone even though he hates them, texting someone and when asked not telling us who it was) but I believed that maybe the ring had been bothering him (gotten too small or something) that he finally realized that having a cell phone would mean we could get in contact with him in case of an emergency, the texting? I wasn't sure but I assumed it was innocent. I can see now that this was all childish naivety. How did I start suspecting the truth? We were out singing one night and after my little sister and I had gotten everything loaded back into the car, and were ourselves inside, we see him whip out the phone and after, apparently looking at a text message, made a call. We heard only bits of a message he appeared to be leaving on an answering machine, something along the lines of "I'm not mad at you okay, I love you. If I don't get the chance to talk to you tonight, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you." I thought he was leaving a message on mom's phone. I thought maybe one of the kids had called saying that mom had taken off to spend the night with my older sister at her apartment or something and dad was trying to get a hold of her. The drive back home was awkward and silent because something wasn't quite sitting right with me. Something about that phone call had waved a red flag and I almost prayed that the car would be gone when we got home and I could be sure he had called mom. No. The car was in the driveway and mom was in bed. My next thought was that he had called my older sister. That she had done something in anger and dad was wanting to make amends with her but that was nixed the next day after talking to her. At this point my little sister confronted my mother and told her about the phone call. At this point things began falling apart. Mom wanted to believe he was innocent as much as we did but the next day my little sister snooped in his phone (something I never would have done but I can't blame her I guess) and discovered the name Becky with a heart beside it among the phone numbers. Becky turns out to be an old crush my dad had back in high school and had reconnected with on facebook. She also discovered he had listed his relationship status on facebook as "complicated". I held my mother as she cried that night. None of us still truly believed that he was actually having an affair but mom believed that he had at least considered it and that hurt her. What hurt her even more was the fact that dad had told this woman he loved her. The next day mom confronted dad. He denied it of course. Shocked that we would even consider him doing that. He didn't start yelling or anything instead he talked to mom calmly about it. This comforted us all for a while. Unfortunately it didn't last. Yesterday my brothers destroyed my laptop by placing a magnet on it (let's just say it's been the week from Hell shall we) and I went over to the neighbors to see if I caould at least salvage my documents of my hard drive. I managed to e-mail them to myself. When I came home to see if they would open properly on my computer I of course went to save them and when the documents page popped up to ask where I wanted to save them I saw a file that said Becky. I know you shouldn't snoop but when there is a possibility your father could be having an affair tell me you wouldn't do the same. I found an e-mail he had saved and it tore my heart in to a million pieces. He talked about how he wondered what might have been, what they've missed out on, and that he can't convince himself that he's missed his chance with her. It ended with "What's done is done, let's enjoy the time we have." I haven't shown mom the letter yet. How can I do this? I know I have to, I don't want her to be blind to what is going on but I also don't want to hurt her. I just don't understand what is happening to my life. And I'm confused by my emotions too. Whereas my little sister is angry with him I just feel disappointment and hurt. Oh God what am I going to do?