(no subject)
how insane is it when you go to lecture for two hours, but not get bored?? and actually want the professor to keep lecturing because you itch to know more. and even though it's early in the morning and ordinarily you are barely functioning at such hours, you are miraculously captivated.
kind of like...when you find a really good special on the history (or discovery channel) and it's no big deal to just sit and listen.
of course, i'm not so lucky that all my classes are like this, but still, almost half! i just can't imagine going to college and devoting all that time and money to dread going to class, but doing it all so you can just get the degree and make the big bucks...i guess to some, it's a small sacrifice for the benefits down the road, but i've learned what sacrificing yourself does, even just for a short time...and doing that for all the years it takes to go through college? i'm not shocked when so many professionals find themselves seeing therapists, being overwhelmed and not knowing how to deal with emotion and social repercussions. it's almost like parents who are too busy to see how their children grow, and then suddenly they are these complex, emotive creatures who they scarcely recognize...at the risk of sounding a little ridiculous, you can't suppress the inner child of passion and expect good results (just think about trying to suppress sexual instincts!) i think there's a lot to be said for cultivating your inherent passions...otherwise, what will drive you to do more later in life than just the day-to-day monotony; what will fulfill you and allow you to be more than ordinary?
but so many sacrifice this. and when people roll their eyes at my nerdy enthusiasm, but still say, "i wish i could get excited about my major like you do"...i really wish i could give it to them. it's like it's one more link in the chain of our society going downhill into the mechanical workings of technology and greed. and i could go on, but this is just a bit of rambling right now.
..
it's a little absurd how introspective i've been lately. but maybe expected.
i'm making new decisions daily about how i'm going to lead my life from this point forward.
not sure if i'm in the calm after the storm...or the calm before the storm. maybe i'm just being cynical. i don't want to be cynical; i'm a little sick of it.
too much too much.
kind of like...when you find a really good special on the history (or discovery channel) and it's no big deal to just sit and listen.
of course, i'm not so lucky that all my classes are like this, but still, almost half! i just can't imagine going to college and devoting all that time and money to dread going to class, but doing it all so you can just get the degree and make the big bucks...i guess to some, it's a small sacrifice for the benefits down the road, but i've learned what sacrificing yourself does, even just for a short time...and doing that for all the years it takes to go through college? i'm not shocked when so many professionals find themselves seeing therapists, being overwhelmed and not knowing how to deal with emotion and social repercussions. it's almost like parents who are too busy to see how their children grow, and then suddenly they are these complex, emotive creatures who they scarcely recognize...at the risk of sounding a little ridiculous, you can't suppress the inner child of passion and expect good results (just think about trying to suppress sexual instincts!) i think there's a lot to be said for cultivating your inherent passions...otherwise, what will drive you to do more later in life than just the day-to-day monotony; what will fulfill you and allow you to be more than ordinary?
but so many sacrifice this. and when people roll their eyes at my nerdy enthusiasm, but still say, "i wish i could get excited about my major like you do"...i really wish i could give it to them. it's like it's one more link in the chain of our society going downhill into the mechanical workings of technology and greed. and i could go on, but this is just a bit of rambling right now.
..
it's a little absurd how introspective i've been lately. but maybe expected.
i'm making new decisions daily about how i'm going to lead my life from this point forward.
not sure if i'm in the calm after the storm...or the calm before the storm. maybe i'm just being cynical. i don't want to be cynical; i'm a little sick of it.
too much too much.