relationship musings
I feel like such a jerk sometimes. Yeah Dave's a little "inconsiderate" sometimes. But I probably am too. But he always makes up for it. Yesterday he came to my work to hang out with me and then we went to American Apparel afterwards. He knows I love it when people visit me at work, and it's so out of his way (I work at the other end of town from where both of our apartments are located). He kept apologizing for being a jerk Sunday night and saying he was stupid, when really, I selfishly just make a big deal out of nothing sometimes. I really do, you know? It's weird... this is the best relationship I have ever been in, and yet I get so worked up over stupid things. I'm pretty sure it's because there's a part of me still hanging on to the big bad thing that happened in December, so I'm subconsciously expecting Dave to be a perfect, doting angel 100% of the time to keep making it up to me... but that's retarded. I forgave him, and we got past it amazingly, so I need to stop using it as an excuse.
Of course every relationship has its little flaws, but I'd say that compared to all the shit he and I have been through together, we've got something REALLY good, and it only seems to be getting better, and I need to remember that and stop being such a little baby whenever I get irritated by something that he does.
Because in all honesty, he makes me deliriously happy, he makes me feel sexy, he makes me feel like we're a team, and I feel safe with him (plus, he's still with me after seeing me at my ultimate worst, so that's a nice plus hahaha). I can't get all pissy the minute life gets challenging, like with him not having a job at the moment and wanting to take a break from working and focus on his music. It's making him happy right now, and his stress level has dropped dramatically, so why WOULDN'T I want him to keep doing this for awhile? I know we'll get through this, and I know he wants to take care of me in the future... he seems to have big plans for us... I just have to try and remember that he's freaked out about being closer to 30 than he is to 25, and he loves this band and is trying his hardest to make something out of this, because he probably won't have another opportunity like this again in his life. If I really love Dave, I've gotta be on his side and pull for him. If he's still at this exact point in a year, then I can start getting a little anxious, but right now, I've just gotta learn to cool my jets and be as pumped for him about his endeavours as I used to be. And inside, I am... maybe I just need to show him that more, and make sure he knows that I'm his number one personal fan. :)
Of course every relationship has its little flaws, but I'd say that compared to all the shit he and I have been through together, we've got something REALLY good, and it only seems to be getting better, and I need to remember that and stop being such a little baby whenever I get irritated by something that he does.
Because in all honesty, he makes me deliriously happy, he makes me feel sexy, he makes me feel like we're a team, and I feel safe with him (plus, he's still with me after seeing me at my ultimate worst, so that's a nice plus hahaha). I can't get all pissy the minute life gets challenging, like with him not having a job at the moment and wanting to take a break from working and focus on his music. It's making him happy right now, and his stress level has dropped dramatically, so why WOULDN'T I want him to keep doing this for awhile? I know we'll get through this, and I know he wants to take care of me in the future... he seems to have big plans for us... I just have to try and remember that he's freaked out about being closer to 30 than he is to 25, and he loves this band and is trying his hardest to make something out of this, because he probably won't have another opportunity like this again in his life. If I really love Dave, I've gotta be on his side and pull for him. If he's still at this exact point in a year, then I can start getting a little anxious, but right now, I've just gotta learn to cool my jets and be as pumped for him about his endeavours as I used to be. And inside, I am... maybe I just need to show him that more, and make sure he knows that I'm his number one personal fan. :)