Fave H/D Quotes (Part 2)
One corner of Sev's mouth quirked up in a bitter smile. "Just because I'm drunk I will tell a few tales about Lucius. But if you ask me again when I'm sober, I'll put a hex on your hair products."
- Seeing The Light by Fearless Diva
He glanced over at Potter, saw an inky straggle of bad grammar, and forgot about epiphanies and forcibly seized his report. “Give that to me,” he said. “You’re not writing reports like that any more. Oh my God, what does this even say? Are you one of those functional illiterates they tell us about in the papers?”
- The Way We Get By by Maya
Shacklebolt cleared his throat. “And Mr. Malfoy,” he said. “If you could please refrain from taking bribes or acting in any way inappropriate for an Auror.”
“I was not taking bribes that time,” Draco snapped at him. “I happen to be independently wealthy, thank you so much. I was pretending to be an Auror who could be bought so that we could infiltrate-”
“You shouldn’t have pretended so well that your partner reported you,” Shacklebolt said in his emotionless bass.
“Is it my fault that Jenkins had all the intelligence of an exceptionally backward squirrel?”
- The Way We Get By by Maya
Mission of mercy complete, Zabini relaxed against the wall and assumed his usual air of comfortably enjoying the position of most attractive man in Britain. “You look terrible,” he remarked lazily. “Worse than usual, I mean.”
“When you get syphilis,” Draco told him. “I will laugh and laugh.”
- The Way We Get By by Maya
Draco shoved the headless corpse away and fixed him with an accusing glare. “Eurgh,” he said with decision. “That vampire licked me.”
Potter gave his bleeding neck a speaking look.
“And it bit me, yes, how horrible, I have been marked by the undead, I stare into the abyss,” Draco said in an unconvinced tone.
“You should feel very guilty. But at least I was psychologically prepared for a vampire to bite me. That is their vampire way. I did not know they licked you first. I wonder if it’s to tenderise the meat or clean it or something.”
“Tell you what,” Potter said indulgently, stooping and picking up the severed head. “I’ll keep one of the vampires alive so you can ask it.”
Potter tossed Draco his own sword, which Draco caught a little awkwardly by the hilt. Then Potter paused and gave Draco a once-over.
“Er,” he said. “What are you wearing?”
Draco looked down at his red shirt bearing the legend ‘HUFFLEPUFF ’98.’
“You said dress like a victim.”
- The Way We Get By by Maya
Malfoy’s was about four times the size of Harry’s, and Harry had forgotten how much Malfoy’s handwriting looked like the flailings of a drunk spider.
“I’d forgotten that your writing looks one step away from a tiny tot’s fingerpainting,” Malfoy said, frowning at the pages.
Harry began a partnership which required mutual respect and civility by saying: “Bite me.”
Some pages later, he found a tiny drawing in the margin of Malfoy’s report which showed the sea monster and a little speech bubble coming out of its mouth saying ‘Quail before me! I am the terror of the high seas!’
- Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya
“Where is Mr Malfoy?” he inquired.
“Sir, he’s out of the office collecting data on a case,” Harry said promptly.
“Strange how he always is, before ten o’clock in the morning.”
“Sir,” Harry said. “It’s in the Auror charter that an Auror must always be accounted for by his partner. And Malfoy always is. Sir.”
“Some days,” Shacklebolt said, his face an impassive blank, “I feel that I am slowly falling into the abyss.”
“Sir,” Harry said.
- Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya
“Mr Potter, I do not care what your tastes are, I assure you that Sinistra’s Sinning Spot can cater to them. The management will even provide house elves on request.” Shacklebolt paused and added: “You might want to ask for my favourite, Nasturtium.”
There was an awful pause.
“Your favourite… house elf?” asked Malfoy, a man whose curiosity led him to mental images which other men feared to dwell on.
Shacklebolt fixed him with a level stare and said: “I don’t think that’s really any of your business, Mr Malfoy.”
“Right, sir,” said Malfoy. “Sorry, sir.”
“You have to be a professional about this, Mr Potter.”
“Nasturtium will be,” Malfoy remarked, sotto voce.
- Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya
Peppermint buckets gleamed at regular intervals along the carpet. There was an enormous peppermint, hung up on a hook on the wall, and a sign above it reading ‘IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES, THROW TO VICTIM OF VEELA. DO NOT APPROACH THE VEELA.’
Hanging on the ceiling were peppermints in bunches of little bags, swaying in the air conditioner.
Harry said weakly, “I love what you’ve done with the place.”
Malfoy looked very pleased with himself. “Think of the peppermint as the anti mistletoe,” he suggested.
Dean Thomas looked a little scared as he ventured into the palace of peppermint, and once he was gone Malfoy turned sternly on Harry. “Let me see what you’re wearing,” he said. “Oh good, the orange Weasley jumper. Oh my God, you look like you ate a ginger cat and then vomited on yourself, it’s wonderful. I can’t imagine anyone but a necrophiliac into bestiality would find you attractive.”
“Thank you, Malfoy,” Harry said. “That means a lot.”
- Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya
"Harry," she said sternly, "This is serious. You can't just let Draco go around threatening other people on your behalf!"
"Well, what I am supposed to do about it?" Harry asked mildly. "Whack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and say 'Bad Veela!'?"
- The Veela Enigma by jennavere
"You're forgetting something, which is: why would I want to kiss you?" He asked blankly.
Draco stared at him. "Because I'm going to pay you, of course," he said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Didn't Potter understand simple business practices?
Harry thought vaguely that this might be a good time to act repulsed, but he was too busy gaping to get around to it. "You can't pay me to kiss you!"
Draco smirked. He did that well, too. "What, are you saying I don't have to?"
"I'm saying I don't want to do it!" Harry responded, Properly Horrified.
Inexplicably Draco found that he was pouting quite naturally. He blinked at Harry for a few moments before he remembered to replace the pout with a scowl. "Potter, I have to kiss someone, you can't bloody expect me to wander around Hogwarts staring at people's arses trying to determine whether they turn me on!"
"Well, no, but-" Harry blinked. "Are you saying that you'd stare at my arse?"
- Kissing Harry Potter by Aja
They were mashed like that for an uncomfortable number of seconds before Draco broke away and howled in disgust. "What was that? Who taught you to kiss like a blowfish?"
- Kissing Harry Potter by Aja
"I'm friends with Draco Malfoy," said Harry calmly. "I spent Christmas at Malfoy Manor last year. I might have gone this year, only I was rather busy with being possessed at the time." That raised a few chuckles, though not many; the gazes were too intent. And if it wasn't true, if he would have spent the Christmas with his family instead, then nobody was ever going to know. "I know the pureblood ways. My father is James Potter; my godfather is Sirius Black. I asked and asked and asked until they taught me how to act like a pureblood, and I read books on pureblood history myself."
"Yet you were shocked when you were put in Slytherin?" Flint's voice had a sneer to it now.
Harry flicked him a glance. "My brother is the Boy-Who-Lived. I'm a Potter, and we've always been Gryffindors. Family is important, isn't it? You'd probably stand by yours no matter what?"
Flint nodded slowly, a faint gleam of appreciation in his eyes.
"So, yes, I was shocked," said Harry, and then shrugged. "But I accept that I'm a Slytherin now.
"That doesn't mean that I'm about to abandon my brother. That wouldn't be very loyal to my family at all. And it's no good trying to pretend to be something I'm not. My mother is Muggleborn, and she told me stories about the First War, what it was like, and about the war with Grindelwald. I've learned more about what happens to Dark wizards who face Gryffindors than I've ever wanted to know."
"Gryffindors died in those wars, too," Flint breathed, just a trace of warning in his tone.
Harry nodded. "And Gryffindors brought down each Dark wizard in the end. So, no. I can see how history tends, thanks. I want to survive-which I'm sure is a Slytherin trait."
- No Mouth But Some Serpent's by Lightning on the Wave
Draco took a slow breath, and he appeared to be carefully considering what he had to say. Finally, he pressed his lips together firmly, nodded to himself, and spoke. "I caught you in the first place because I wanted revenge for something you did." He paused again, as though struggling with the words that were trying to come out of his mouth. "I lost faith in everything I ever believed because of what you said. I completely changed my concept of power because of what I saw you do."
Draco was shaking, but this time Harry was sure it had nothing to do with the water. He took a deep, convulsive breath. "I turned my back on everything I was because of who you are. And I faced my fears because you said I could."
His gaze locked with Harry's, Draco gradually stopped shaking. His eyes were shining with sincerity. "Harry... there was always you."
- Eclipse by PhoenixSong
Harry knows he’s not supposed to be charmed when Malfoy attempts to curse him in some bastardized version of Parselmouth, but he can’t help himself. There are some things that have to come naturally or they won’t come at all, so Harry knows Malfoy must’ve spent ages in the library trying to figure out how to translate and pronounce ‘I’m going to kill you.’
The thing, though, is that Parselmouth doesn’t follow literal translations and when Malfoy hissed “I’m going to thrill you” to him after Potions, Harry almost ran into the wall.
- That Old Malfoy Charm by hackthis
I've got your trunk too. Lucky me, I've gotten an up close and personal look at your wardrobe, and it leaves something to be desired. You have rather poor taste in fashion, and by poor fashion taste I mean excreble fashion taste, the kind that makes you sit up straight and say, "Heavens, were I wearing that, I would thank Providence for a swift and immediate lobotomy, so that I might forget my humiliation and start life over in a world where I could only wear neutral colours."
- Correspondence by Lethe
P.S. I found your romance novels, Potter. That thud you heard was me rolling around on the floor laughing at you.
- Correspondence by Lethe
P.S. Never would have guessed you for a poet, especially such a pathetic one. Or such a smutty one. You used the word tongue sixteen times. I counted. Really, Malfoy, what would your mother think?
- Correspondence by Lethe
P.S. Your trunk still smells like you too. I am not sure if that is good or bad. At least it doesn't smell like Weasley, I abhor Eau de Poverty.
- Correspondence by Lethe
Harry neglected to give the pie enough time to cool off and burned his tongue with the first bite. He quenched the sting with a mouthful of beer, while Sirius cut his pie open and let the steam escape with a smug look.
"You know," Harry continued with a slight lisp. "That's another thing that does brass me off about Malfoy. He never does things like that."
"He never burns his tongue on a pub chicken pie? I can't imagine that he's ever eaten one. A bit common for him, isn't it?"
"He'd want a fancy version of a chicken pie. With champagne gravy or something. You'd know better than me. Did the Black Family dinners include fancy pies?"
"Only the ones we made out of our Muggle victims. Bwahahahahaha!" His attempt at a villainous laugh was actually rather scary. Probably the sort of thing they practiced at Black Family dinners.
Harry rolled his eyes. "What I mean is that he hardly ever does anything clumsy. The only time I've seen him stumble is when he was poisoned. He's so bloody decorative. He sits around looking like he's part of the interior design. Aristocrat with book on sofa, unshod. And that's another weird thing, he hardly ever wears shoes. Do you think the War gave him some kind of phobia about it? Maybe Lucius tortured him with shoes."
"How do you torture someone with shoes?"
"Make them wear shoes that don't fit? Throw shoes at them? I don't know. I'm sure if there were a way to do it, Lucius Malfoy would have sussed it out."
Sirius started laughing around a mouthful of chicken pie. "Harry, I think being cooped up in a gothic estate with a reclusive weirdo is affecting your mind. Maybe he just likes going barefoot. Why does this bother you? Are his bare feet offensive in some way?"
"Only in the sense that they're as fucking perfect as the rest of him."
"You're saying you're offended because his feet are attractive. Do you realize how gay that sounds?"
- Tissue Of Silver by Fearless Diva
If Potter left him here alone, Draco would die. He just knew it - he knew that he would be attacked yesterday, and he was. Clearly, this wasn't just panic, but actual Divination skills. Trelawney knew shit.
- Losing Control (But Still Fighting) by faithwood
"The Act is contravened by the Parental Access Act of 1456. I've got double your life-debts and I'm calling them in. The effect of the 1135 Act is nullified. And, according to the amendments in 1998, you have to get along with me. If you don't, you have to go to parenting conflict classes." Harry cocked his head to the side. "You know, I think Hannah Abbot's running that programme now. Did you know she increased it to a weekly commitment for three years? I think hand puppets are involved, too. Oh, and there are the golden circles of safe feelings we have to make together out of painted wooden sticks. It should prove-"
"All right! I get it." Malfoy crossed his arms in front of him. "You're calling in your debts so that you can have some sort of relationship with the baby."
- Sperm Cow by empathic_siren
"Come here, Jessie. It's okay," he said sweetly.
"Stupid piece of arse!" the jarvey cried, still shaking.
Malfoy laughed heartily. "I forgot how much I like jarveys," he said fondly. "Enchanting creatures. Aren't you, Jessie?" Malfoy cooed.
"Faggot!" Jarvey screamed, glaring down at Malfoy.
As Harry laughed, Malfoy stopped smiling; instead, he twirled his wand in his hand. "I think we should just Stun him."
"No!" yelled the girl standing a little farther away. "He's just scared, so he's lashing out. He's the sweetest thing normally. Right, Jessie?"
"Idiot airhead!" Jarvey wailed.
Undaunted, the girl gushed, "Isn't he adorable?"
- One Harry Potter, Please (If Possible, Seduced And Ready) by faithwood
Higgs took off Seamus' gag, and Seamus immediately shouted, "Don't do it, Harry! Whatever he's asked you for, don't give it to him!"
"He wants Draco Malfoy," Harry answered.
"Oh." Seamus blinked. "Well, that's all right then. I reckon you can give him Malfoy."
"That's Seamus," said Harry.
"Also, all your underpants had holes in the bum until sixth year," Seamus added helpfully.
- Tissue Of Silver by Fearless Diva
Harry took the gag from Malfoy's mouth, and pretended to cast Veritas without actually casting the spell. "Ask him whatever you'd like."
"What are the three base ingredients in Pure?"
"Poppy, coca and guarana. It was processed magically, but produced a magically inert finished compound safe to sell to Muggles."
"What's the key bit of magical equipment necessary to the manufacture of Pure?"
"There's more than one. A gold cauldron, a magically inert stirring device like a pewter spoon, and distilling equipment made of special, hand-blown, wizard's glass are part of what you need. You'd have to be more specific if you want a proper answer."
"Who invented it?"
"I did."
"With the assistance of whom?"
"No one, you paunchy twat."
"I'm satisfied that's Draco Malfoy."
- Tissue Of Silver by Fearless Diva
Sirius gave Harry a dark look, but allowed him to remove the spring roll. "See what you get for involving yourself with a bunch of Slytherins?"
"Well, to be fair, it's just the two Slytherins, not a whole bunch. What's the plural for Slytherins? Pack?"
"A murder," Sirius suggested. Remus gave him a warning glance, but he seemed too busy devouring a spring roll to notice.
- Seeing The Light by Fearless Diva
"You want to take it slow?" Harry didn't mean to sound quite so incredulous.
Draco scowled at him. "Is that so surprising? Do you think I jump into bed with every man I see?"
"Of course not. Just the attractive ones."
- Famous For Their Discord by Fearless Diva
"I know," Draco conceded meekly. "But look - apart from the fact that I am a psychopathic bigoted sadistic stalker... I really do love you. Don't you love me? Even a little?"
- Perfect Strangers by Emily Waters
"Miss me?" Potter asked breathily as he yanked Draco into an empty classroom. "I think I've figured out a way to get Draco Jr. to perk up and take notice."
"Potter," Draco began wearily, "Please, do not take on the liberty of naming my dick. We must agree on a name if you want one so badly and Draco Jr. is not going to cut it."
"Goliath!" Potter declared assuredly.
Draco glared at him and said in the same mocking excitement, "No!"
Potter shrugged. "How about Scared Little Bunny Foo Foo?" He knelt down in front of Draco, moved the blonde's robes aside, and mouthed his flaccid cock through his trousers before breathing against it, "It's okay, Scared Little Bunny Foo Foo, I won't hurt you. I'll make you feel good, I promise, but you have to come out of your hidey-hole."
Draco placed his hand over Potter's glasses, nose, and mouth and pushed him off by his face. "Potter, if you do not stop patronizing my dick, I will kill you. I'm not the Dark Lord, I won't sit there chatting with you about how I'm going to kill you, meanwhile giving you ample time to escape. I'll actually do it."
Potter looked up at him and resumed his position, stroking Draco's length with a forefinger. "Well… I don't know. You want a butch name then? I'm guessing Fluffy's out if that's the case?" Draco snarled at him and Potter grinned. "How 'bout Steel?"
Draco rather liked the sound of that. Steel. It was so… secret agent-y. But still… "You know, I'd rather we just don't refer to my cock as anything other than 'cock' but if you must, then yes, Steel is acceptable."
- Sneak Attack Hugs? by calrissian18
He grabbed a flute of champagne from an overburdened house-elf and shoved it into Harry’s hands. “Here, drink this. It’ll calm you down.”
Harry drained the glass and grabbed another. “The knickers. They’re too tight,” he whimpered.
“Okay, Harry?” Ron took Harry’s shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Slughorn. Butter.” He nodded encouragingly.
Harry closed his eyes and saw a vision of Malfoy and Ron lolling in bed together wearing nothing but pearls. “Not working,” he moaned.
“Okay. Sprout, Snape and McGonagall in a three way. McGonagall is wearing a strap-on. Snape bottoms.”
Harry concentrated. “Sorry.”
“Flitwick joins them, wearing nothing but a hat and spurs,” Ron added.
One thought of Flitwick’s wee little penis and Harry’s cock began to shrivel like a spent balloon. “Thanks,” he said, smoothing down the front of his skirt. “You’ve got a really filthy mind, you know that? Remind me not to look in the drawer of your nightstand.”
- Maid To Order by mizBean
Harry shook his head, but grinned. "I"m not much into pursuing."
"Nonsense, Potter. You pursued me vigorously."
"I pursued you?"
"Everyone pursues Malfoys."
"Especially Aurors," Harry muttered under his breath.
"What?" Draco looked sharply at him, not having quite heard the remark.
- Between Conspirators (Harry Potter) by mahaliem
Ron added a pile of sausage to his plate. "I read one of your scrolls. Green sheets, green silk underwear, hair gel, oil - don't know how that's going to save us."
"That," Draco said, haughtily while stirring a cup of tea, "was my shopping list."
"Oh, good," Hermione let out a relieved sigh and helped herself to a muffin from the plate Crabbe was holding out to her. "I read one, too. Mine said things like "muggle cameras and a large ham."
"That," Draco said, even more haughtily than before," is part of my Plan."
Ron slid a few slices of tomatoes onto his plate then grabbed some toast to add to the growing mound. "Is this the plan you were muttering about that involved staking Neville out on the Quidditch pitch with a sign saying "Eat me'?"
Draco waved a hand dismissively. "No. I decided that, knowing Longbottom, he'd botch up being eaten somehow. My current plan is much better."
- A Slytherin In Gryffindor Clothing by mahaliem
The last photo was of Draco's parents taken some years before. Lucius sneered at Harry. In retaliation, Harry mouthed the words 'I killed Voldemort.'
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
Malfoy,
Sorry for not being more gracious and friendly at Hogwarts. It’s difficult with an undead madman plotting to kill you every moment.
- Ministry Ordered Exile by byaghro and dysonrules
"I did not barge. Malfoys do not barge. We -"
"Flounce?" Harry offered.
Malfoy whirled round and scowled at him until his eyes crinkled up and his nose somehow got even pointier. "We walk with a certain degree of aplomb."
- F-a-c-u-l-t-i-e-s Intact by wondersdontcare
- Seeing The Light by Fearless Diva
He glanced over at Potter, saw an inky straggle of bad grammar, and forgot about epiphanies and forcibly seized his report. “Give that to me,” he said. “You’re not writing reports like that any more. Oh my God, what does this even say? Are you one of those functional illiterates they tell us about in the papers?”
- The Way We Get By by Maya
Shacklebolt cleared his throat. “And Mr. Malfoy,” he said. “If you could please refrain from taking bribes or acting in any way inappropriate for an Auror.”
“I was not taking bribes that time,” Draco snapped at him. “I happen to be independently wealthy, thank you so much. I was pretending to be an Auror who could be bought so that we could infiltrate-”
“You shouldn’t have pretended so well that your partner reported you,” Shacklebolt said in his emotionless bass.
“Is it my fault that Jenkins had all the intelligence of an exceptionally backward squirrel?”
- The Way We Get By by Maya
Mission of mercy complete, Zabini relaxed against the wall and assumed his usual air of comfortably enjoying the position of most attractive man in Britain. “You look terrible,” he remarked lazily. “Worse than usual, I mean.”
“When you get syphilis,” Draco told him. “I will laugh and laugh.”
- The Way We Get By by Maya
Draco shoved the headless corpse away and fixed him with an accusing glare. “Eurgh,” he said with decision. “That vampire licked me.”
Potter gave his bleeding neck a speaking look.
“And it bit me, yes, how horrible, I have been marked by the undead, I stare into the abyss,” Draco said in an unconvinced tone.
“You should feel very guilty. But at least I was psychologically prepared for a vampire to bite me. That is their vampire way. I did not know they licked you first. I wonder if it’s to tenderise the meat or clean it or something.”
“Tell you what,” Potter said indulgently, stooping and picking up the severed head. “I’ll keep one of the vampires alive so you can ask it.”
Potter tossed Draco his own sword, which Draco caught a little awkwardly by the hilt. Then Potter paused and gave Draco a once-over.
“Er,” he said. “What are you wearing?”
Draco looked down at his red shirt bearing the legend ‘HUFFLEPUFF ’98.’
“You said dress like a victim.”
- The Way We Get By by Maya
Malfoy’s was about four times the size of Harry’s, and Harry had forgotten how much Malfoy’s handwriting looked like the flailings of a drunk spider.
“I’d forgotten that your writing looks one step away from a tiny tot’s fingerpainting,” Malfoy said, frowning at the pages.
Harry began a partnership which required mutual respect and civility by saying: “Bite me.”
Some pages later, he found a tiny drawing in the margin of Malfoy’s report which showed the sea monster and a little speech bubble coming out of its mouth saying ‘Quail before me! I am the terror of the high seas!’
- Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya
“Where is Mr Malfoy?” he inquired.
“Sir, he’s out of the office collecting data on a case,” Harry said promptly.
“Strange how he always is, before ten o’clock in the morning.”
“Sir,” Harry said. “It’s in the Auror charter that an Auror must always be accounted for by his partner. And Malfoy always is. Sir.”
“Some days,” Shacklebolt said, his face an impassive blank, “I feel that I am slowly falling into the abyss.”
“Sir,” Harry said.
- Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya
“Mr Potter, I do not care what your tastes are, I assure you that Sinistra’s Sinning Spot can cater to them. The management will even provide house elves on request.” Shacklebolt paused and added: “You might want to ask for my favourite, Nasturtium.”
There was an awful pause.
“Your favourite… house elf?” asked Malfoy, a man whose curiosity led him to mental images which other men feared to dwell on.
Shacklebolt fixed him with a level stare and said: “I don’t think that’s really any of your business, Mr Malfoy.”
“Right, sir,” said Malfoy. “Sorry, sir.”
“You have to be a professional about this, Mr Potter.”
“Nasturtium will be,” Malfoy remarked, sotto voce.
- Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya
Peppermint buckets gleamed at regular intervals along the carpet. There was an enormous peppermint, hung up on a hook on the wall, and a sign above it reading ‘IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES, THROW TO VICTIM OF VEELA. DO NOT APPROACH THE VEELA.’
Hanging on the ceiling were peppermints in bunches of little bags, swaying in the air conditioner.
Harry said weakly, “I love what you’ve done with the place.”
Malfoy looked very pleased with himself. “Think of the peppermint as the anti mistletoe,” he suggested.
Dean Thomas looked a little scared as he ventured into the palace of peppermint, and once he was gone Malfoy turned sternly on Harry. “Let me see what you’re wearing,” he said. “Oh good, the orange Weasley jumper. Oh my God, you look like you ate a ginger cat and then vomited on yourself, it’s wonderful. I can’t imagine anyone but a necrophiliac into bestiality would find you attractive.”
“Thank you, Malfoy,” Harry said. “That means a lot.”
- Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya
"Harry," she said sternly, "This is serious. You can't just let Draco go around threatening other people on your behalf!"
"Well, what I am supposed to do about it?" Harry asked mildly. "Whack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and say 'Bad Veela!'?"
- The Veela Enigma by jennavere
"You're forgetting something, which is: why would I want to kiss you?" He asked blankly.
Draco stared at him. "Because I'm going to pay you, of course," he said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Didn't Potter understand simple business practices?
Harry thought vaguely that this might be a good time to act repulsed, but he was too busy gaping to get around to it. "You can't pay me to kiss you!"
Draco smirked. He did that well, too. "What, are you saying I don't have to?"
"I'm saying I don't want to do it!" Harry responded, Properly Horrified.
Inexplicably Draco found that he was pouting quite naturally. He blinked at Harry for a few moments before he remembered to replace the pout with a scowl. "Potter, I have to kiss someone, you can't bloody expect me to wander around Hogwarts staring at people's arses trying to determine whether they turn me on!"
"Well, no, but-" Harry blinked. "Are you saying that you'd stare at my arse?"
- Kissing Harry Potter by Aja
They were mashed like that for an uncomfortable number of seconds before Draco broke away and howled in disgust. "What was that? Who taught you to kiss like a blowfish?"
- Kissing Harry Potter by Aja
"I'm friends with Draco Malfoy," said Harry calmly. "I spent Christmas at Malfoy Manor last year. I might have gone this year, only I was rather busy with being possessed at the time." That raised a few chuckles, though not many; the gazes were too intent. And if it wasn't true, if he would have spent the Christmas with his family instead, then nobody was ever going to know. "I know the pureblood ways. My father is James Potter; my godfather is Sirius Black. I asked and asked and asked until they taught me how to act like a pureblood, and I read books on pureblood history myself."
"Yet you were shocked when you were put in Slytherin?" Flint's voice had a sneer to it now.
Harry flicked him a glance. "My brother is the Boy-Who-Lived. I'm a Potter, and we've always been Gryffindors. Family is important, isn't it? You'd probably stand by yours no matter what?"
Flint nodded slowly, a faint gleam of appreciation in his eyes.
"So, yes, I was shocked," said Harry, and then shrugged. "But I accept that I'm a Slytherin now.
"That doesn't mean that I'm about to abandon my brother. That wouldn't be very loyal to my family at all. And it's no good trying to pretend to be something I'm not. My mother is Muggleborn, and she told me stories about the First War, what it was like, and about the war with Grindelwald. I've learned more about what happens to Dark wizards who face Gryffindors than I've ever wanted to know."
"Gryffindors died in those wars, too," Flint breathed, just a trace of warning in his tone.
Harry nodded. "And Gryffindors brought down each Dark wizard in the end. So, no. I can see how history tends, thanks. I want to survive-which I'm sure is a Slytherin trait."
- No Mouth But Some Serpent's by Lightning on the Wave
Draco took a slow breath, and he appeared to be carefully considering what he had to say. Finally, he pressed his lips together firmly, nodded to himself, and spoke. "I caught you in the first place because I wanted revenge for something you did." He paused again, as though struggling with the words that were trying to come out of his mouth. "I lost faith in everything I ever believed because of what you said. I completely changed my concept of power because of what I saw you do."
Draco was shaking, but this time Harry was sure it had nothing to do with the water. He took a deep, convulsive breath. "I turned my back on everything I was because of who you are. And I faced my fears because you said I could."
His gaze locked with Harry's, Draco gradually stopped shaking. His eyes were shining with sincerity. "Harry... there was always you."
- Eclipse by PhoenixSong
Harry knows he’s not supposed to be charmed when Malfoy attempts to curse him in some bastardized version of Parselmouth, but he can’t help himself. There are some things that have to come naturally or they won’t come at all, so Harry knows Malfoy must’ve spent ages in the library trying to figure out how to translate and pronounce ‘I’m going to kill you.’
The thing, though, is that Parselmouth doesn’t follow literal translations and when Malfoy hissed “I’m going to thrill you” to him after Potions, Harry almost ran into the wall.
- That Old Malfoy Charm by hackthis
I've got your trunk too. Lucky me, I've gotten an up close and personal look at your wardrobe, and it leaves something to be desired. You have rather poor taste in fashion, and by poor fashion taste I mean excreble fashion taste, the kind that makes you sit up straight and say, "Heavens, were I wearing that, I would thank Providence for a swift and immediate lobotomy, so that I might forget my humiliation and start life over in a world where I could only wear neutral colours."
- Correspondence by Lethe
P.S. I found your romance novels, Potter. That thud you heard was me rolling around on the floor laughing at you.
- Correspondence by Lethe
P.S. Never would have guessed you for a poet, especially such a pathetic one. Or such a smutty one. You used the word tongue sixteen times. I counted. Really, Malfoy, what would your mother think?
- Correspondence by Lethe
P.S. Your trunk still smells like you too. I am not sure if that is good or bad. At least it doesn't smell like Weasley, I abhor Eau de Poverty.
- Correspondence by Lethe
Harry neglected to give the pie enough time to cool off and burned his tongue with the first bite. He quenched the sting with a mouthful of beer, while Sirius cut his pie open and let the steam escape with a smug look.
"You know," Harry continued with a slight lisp. "That's another thing that does brass me off about Malfoy. He never does things like that."
"He never burns his tongue on a pub chicken pie? I can't imagine that he's ever eaten one. A bit common for him, isn't it?"
"He'd want a fancy version of a chicken pie. With champagne gravy or something. You'd know better than me. Did the Black Family dinners include fancy pies?"
"Only the ones we made out of our Muggle victims. Bwahahahahaha!" His attempt at a villainous laugh was actually rather scary. Probably the sort of thing they practiced at Black Family dinners.
Harry rolled his eyes. "What I mean is that he hardly ever does anything clumsy. The only time I've seen him stumble is when he was poisoned. He's so bloody decorative. He sits around looking like he's part of the interior design. Aristocrat with book on sofa, unshod. And that's another weird thing, he hardly ever wears shoes. Do you think the War gave him some kind of phobia about it? Maybe Lucius tortured him with shoes."
"How do you torture someone with shoes?"
"Make them wear shoes that don't fit? Throw shoes at them? I don't know. I'm sure if there were a way to do it, Lucius Malfoy would have sussed it out."
Sirius started laughing around a mouthful of chicken pie. "Harry, I think being cooped up in a gothic estate with a reclusive weirdo is affecting your mind. Maybe he just likes going barefoot. Why does this bother you? Are his bare feet offensive in some way?"
"Only in the sense that they're as fucking perfect as the rest of him."
"You're saying you're offended because his feet are attractive. Do you realize how gay that sounds?"
- Tissue Of Silver by Fearless Diva
If Potter left him here alone, Draco would die. He just knew it - he knew that he would be attacked yesterday, and he was. Clearly, this wasn't just panic, but actual Divination skills. Trelawney knew shit.
- Losing Control (But Still Fighting) by faithwood
"The Act is contravened by the Parental Access Act of 1456. I've got double your life-debts and I'm calling them in. The effect of the 1135 Act is nullified. And, according to the amendments in 1998, you have to get along with me. If you don't, you have to go to parenting conflict classes." Harry cocked his head to the side. "You know, I think Hannah Abbot's running that programme now. Did you know she increased it to a weekly commitment for three years? I think hand puppets are involved, too. Oh, and there are the golden circles of safe feelings we have to make together out of painted wooden sticks. It should prove-"
"All right! I get it." Malfoy crossed his arms in front of him. "You're calling in your debts so that you can have some sort of relationship with the baby."
- Sperm Cow by empathic_siren
"Come here, Jessie. It's okay," he said sweetly.
"Stupid piece of arse!" the jarvey cried, still shaking.
Malfoy laughed heartily. "I forgot how much I like jarveys," he said fondly. "Enchanting creatures. Aren't you, Jessie?" Malfoy cooed.
"Faggot!" Jarvey screamed, glaring down at Malfoy.
As Harry laughed, Malfoy stopped smiling; instead, he twirled his wand in his hand. "I think we should just Stun him."
"No!" yelled the girl standing a little farther away. "He's just scared, so he's lashing out. He's the sweetest thing normally. Right, Jessie?"
"Idiot airhead!" Jarvey wailed.
Undaunted, the girl gushed, "Isn't he adorable?"
- One Harry Potter, Please (If Possible, Seduced And Ready) by faithwood
Higgs took off Seamus' gag, and Seamus immediately shouted, "Don't do it, Harry! Whatever he's asked you for, don't give it to him!"
"He wants Draco Malfoy," Harry answered.
"Oh." Seamus blinked. "Well, that's all right then. I reckon you can give him Malfoy."
"That's Seamus," said Harry.
"Also, all your underpants had holes in the bum until sixth year," Seamus added helpfully.
- Tissue Of Silver by Fearless Diva
Harry took the gag from Malfoy's mouth, and pretended to cast Veritas without actually casting the spell. "Ask him whatever you'd like."
"What are the three base ingredients in Pure?"
"Poppy, coca and guarana. It was processed magically, but produced a magically inert finished compound safe to sell to Muggles."
"What's the key bit of magical equipment necessary to the manufacture of Pure?"
"There's more than one. A gold cauldron, a magically inert stirring device like a pewter spoon, and distilling equipment made of special, hand-blown, wizard's glass are part of what you need. You'd have to be more specific if you want a proper answer."
"Who invented it?"
"I did."
"With the assistance of whom?"
"No one, you paunchy twat."
"I'm satisfied that's Draco Malfoy."
- Tissue Of Silver by Fearless Diva
Sirius gave Harry a dark look, but allowed him to remove the spring roll. "See what you get for involving yourself with a bunch of Slytherins?"
"Well, to be fair, it's just the two Slytherins, not a whole bunch. What's the plural for Slytherins? Pack?"
"A murder," Sirius suggested. Remus gave him a warning glance, but he seemed too busy devouring a spring roll to notice.
- Seeing The Light by Fearless Diva
"You want to take it slow?" Harry didn't mean to sound quite so incredulous.
Draco scowled at him. "Is that so surprising? Do you think I jump into bed with every man I see?"
"Of course not. Just the attractive ones."
- Famous For Their Discord by Fearless Diva
"I know," Draco conceded meekly. "But look - apart from the fact that I am a psychopathic bigoted sadistic stalker... I really do love you. Don't you love me? Even a little?"
- Perfect Strangers by Emily Waters
"Miss me?" Potter asked breathily as he yanked Draco into an empty classroom. "I think I've figured out a way to get Draco Jr. to perk up and take notice."
"Potter," Draco began wearily, "Please, do not take on the liberty of naming my dick. We must agree on a name if you want one so badly and Draco Jr. is not going to cut it."
"Goliath!" Potter declared assuredly.
Draco glared at him and said in the same mocking excitement, "No!"
Potter shrugged. "How about Scared Little Bunny Foo Foo?" He knelt down in front of Draco, moved the blonde's robes aside, and mouthed his flaccid cock through his trousers before breathing against it, "It's okay, Scared Little Bunny Foo Foo, I won't hurt you. I'll make you feel good, I promise, but you have to come out of your hidey-hole."
Draco placed his hand over Potter's glasses, nose, and mouth and pushed him off by his face. "Potter, if you do not stop patronizing my dick, I will kill you. I'm not the Dark Lord, I won't sit there chatting with you about how I'm going to kill you, meanwhile giving you ample time to escape. I'll actually do it."
Potter looked up at him and resumed his position, stroking Draco's length with a forefinger. "Well… I don't know. You want a butch name then? I'm guessing Fluffy's out if that's the case?" Draco snarled at him and Potter grinned. "How 'bout Steel?"
Draco rather liked the sound of that. Steel. It was so… secret agent-y. But still… "You know, I'd rather we just don't refer to my cock as anything other than 'cock' but if you must, then yes, Steel is acceptable."
- Sneak Attack Hugs? by calrissian18
He grabbed a flute of champagne from an overburdened house-elf and shoved it into Harry’s hands. “Here, drink this. It’ll calm you down.”
Harry drained the glass and grabbed another. “The knickers. They’re too tight,” he whimpered.
“Okay, Harry?” Ron took Harry’s shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Slughorn. Butter.” He nodded encouragingly.
Harry closed his eyes and saw a vision of Malfoy and Ron lolling in bed together wearing nothing but pearls. “Not working,” he moaned.
“Okay. Sprout, Snape and McGonagall in a three way. McGonagall is wearing a strap-on. Snape bottoms.”
Harry concentrated. “Sorry.”
“Flitwick joins them, wearing nothing but a hat and spurs,” Ron added.
One thought of Flitwick’s wee little penis and Harry’s cock began to shrivel like a spent balloon. “Thanks,” he said, smoothing down the front of his skirt. “You’ve got a really filthy mind, you know that? Remind me not to look in the drawer of your nightstand.”
- Maid To Order by mizBean
Harry shook his head, but grinned. "I"m not much into pursuing."
"Nonsense, Potter. You pursued me vigorously."
"I pursued you?"
"Everyone pursues Malfoys."
"Especially Aurors," Harry muttered under his breath.
"What?" Draco looked sharply at him, not having quite heard the remark.
- Between Conspirators (Harry Potter) by mahaliem
Ron added a pile of sausage to his plate. "I read one of your scrolls. Green sheets, green silk underwear, hair gel, oil - don't know how that's going to save us."
"That," Draco said, haughtily while stirring a cup of tea, "was my shopping list."
"Oh, good," Hermione let out a relieved sigh and helped herself to a muffin from the plate Crabbe was holding out to her. "I read one, too. Mine said things like "muggle cameras and a large ham."
"That," Draco said, even more haughtily than before," is part of my Plan."
Ron slid a few slices of tomatoes onto his plate then grabbed some toast to add to the growing mound. "Is this the plan you were muttering about that involved staking Neville out on the Quidditch pitch with a sign saying "Eat me'?"
Draco waved a hand dismissively. "No. I decided that, knowing Longbottom, he'd botch up being eaten somehow. My current plan is much better."
- A Slytherin In Gryffindor Clothing by mahaliem
The last photo was of Draco's parents taken some years before. Lucius sneered at Harry. In retaliation, Harry mouthed the words 'I killed Voldemort.'
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
Malfoy,
Sorry for not being more gracious and friendly at Hogwarts. It’s difficult with an undead madman plotting to kill you every moment.
- Ministry Ordered Exile by byaghro and dysonrules
"I did not barge. Malfoys do not barge. We -"
"Flounce?" Harry offered.
Malfoy whirled round and scowled at him until his eyes crinkled up and his nose somehow got even pointier. "We walk with a certain degree of aplomb."
- F-a-c-u-l-t-i-e-s Intact by wondersdontcare