Fave H/D Quotes (Part 1)
Ginny pulled the Prophet closer. "I wonder if he's thought of legally changing his name to 'Convicted Death Eater Lucius Malfoy'," she mused.
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
"I can't believe you like tuna sandwiches," Harry said as they settled back at the lookout point for lunch.
"Why not?"
"It's Muggle food."
"Bite your tongue."
"No, we learned that in Muggle Studies, in the section on blending in. It includes a list of food of ours that's commonly eaten by Muggles, so that we can order things and not look strange. There's a list of things not to ask for - pumpkin juice, that kind of thing. And a list of our foods that originally came from Muggles."
Malfoy peered at his sandwich as though it offended him.
"Mind you, I don't think Muggles include salamander tongue sauce in the recipe."
Malfoy took another bite. "Why would you take Muggle Studies, anyway?"
"Easy course. Besides, I really don't know all that much about normal Muggle life."
"You were raised by Muggles."
"I'd like to believe the Muggles who raised me weren't normal."
"Why not?"
"Because if they are, maybe your father has a point about Muggles after all."
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
"Why don't we sit at the Gryffindor table today, and the Slytherin tomorrow?"
"Because my house mates will throw up if they have to sit near you while they're eating."
"Then we can sit at the Gryffindor table again. Gryffindor constitutions are not as delicate."
"Piss off."
"I'd love to. Unfortunately there's this little problem of the curse."
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
"I don't like getting so far behind in school work."
"Why do you care?" Harry asked curiously.
"What?"
"About your marks, about school work. It's not like you have to get top grades in order to be hired by the Ministry or anything."
"God, Potter, you are clueless," Malfoy snickered. "It's not about getting a job, it's about earning respect in order to have influence over other people. Just because you're the heir of a respected family, that doesn't mean you can just sit back and let your name do everything for you."
"It doesn't?"
"No, you twit. If you're a blithering idiot, no mere name is enough to earn anybody's respect. My father doesn't just get people to do what he wants because he's from an old family; he's also very intelligent and people know it."
"He's also an arrogant manipulating-" Harry bit back the rest of his opinion and Malfoy chuckled.
"You say that as though it's a bad thing."
"It is."
"Potter, should I remind you that that's your father-in-law you're talking about?"
"Oh god, no," Harry groaned, and Malfoy laughed.
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
"What does he think about all of this?" Harry asked, grasping for something to say to keep him from thinking about this too much.
"Father? He's delighted. He always hoped I'd marry far below my station, to somebody completely inappropriate in just about every conceivable way. This exceeds his wildest dreams."
Harry noted the waspish tone and tried not to think about what it meant that part of him was rather relieved to hear it. "Does he blame you?"
"For walking through a door? Merlin, Potter, my father has high expectations of me but I don't think even he could think that this is my fault."
"Still, I'm sure this is making things... awkward for your family."
"I'm sure it is," Malfoy said curtly.
"Doesn't he tell you?"
"With you in the room every time we talk? Oddly, no."
"I use a silence spell."
"Yes, and Slytherins are well known for trusting the honesty of their rivals. It's part of how we get ahead in life."
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
Harry dropped back onto the bed, relief washing over him. God, the only thing worse than arriving late for McGonagall's class was arriving late for Snape's. He lay there until the dizzy feeling subsided, then sat up to inspect his breakfast tray, which seemed brimming with all his favourite breakfast foods.
"Dobby," he said fondly, and Malfoy looked up from his book.
"Dobby?"
"House elf. He likes me."
"We had a house elf named - oh. Right."
"Yeah."
"That explains why my toast was soggy and my pumpkin juice was warm."
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
Tell me, Potter, what do you think happens when someone contradicts Draco? You must know. You've done it before."
"He hexes you?" But Harry's mind was full of a different Malfoy, who looked at him with soft, concerned eyes and led him towards the hospital wing. Of course, that was only possible to think of if he hadn't tucked that experience into the great ball of nonexistence, which he did just then, which meant he had never had the thought and had to look in confusion at Parkinson's slowly shaking head.
"No," said Parkinson. "Of course not. He whinges. For hours. You should have heard the endlessness with which he went on and on about you being Sorted into Gryffindor and refusing to be his friend the first night of first year. It was hard to tell which of those two experiences irritated him most. At least, he thought they were part of a conspiracy of the universe against him."
"And then when he found out you were a Parselmouth," Zabini added, "it was the same thing. 'Why should he get to have it and I don't?' Finally I snapped that maybe it was because you were the one meant to fight the Dark Lord and he wasn't, which made him shut up and think for-" He glanced at Parkinson.
"Half a minute," Parkinson said. "That's all. Then he started in again on the subject of how you should have been his best friend."
"And then there was the time last year," Zabini muttered darkly, "that I heard this kind of high, thin whinge coming behind the curtains of his bed, mixed with your name. I wanted to know how he could be blaming you for something when you weren't even at Hogwarts, so I opened the curtains. And-"
"Blaise," Parkinson said in a deadly serious voice. "We don't talk about the Curtains Incident. We don't ever talk about it."
- Water From A Stone by Lomonaaeren
"Yep. So… uhh… how are you liking this part of Ireland?" Potter asked. There was a large poster of a toucan balancing a glass of Guinness on its beak as it flew through a blue background to the left of Potter's head. Behind him, Draco could hear the inconsequential talk of wool prices and local politics pick up and filter through the soft hum of American country music.
He thought about which mask to slip on, which line of small talk to ply Potter with and realized he simply didn't care. With a shrug he said, "It's cold and smells like sheep shit."
With a bark, Harry laughed, defeating the tension that had crackled between them since their confrontation that morning.
He must be insane, truly and utterly, Draco thought as Potter choked on his laughter and hid his face in the crook of his arm where he'd slammed it against the table.
"God, Draco," Potter said once he'd earned a breath again, "Only you could sum up a place as beautiful and peaceful as Durrus with such limited, yet completely accurate, observations." He sighed with a smile. "There is a pervasive scent of sheep in the air, isn't there?"
- Charmed Wool by winnett
“The thing is, Hermione wanted me to talk to you. She and I have come to the conclusion that I might be slightly...um, attracted to Malfoy.”
“Harry, why do you need my wife’s help to decide who you’re attracted to?”
Harry looked surprised. “It’s Hermione. I need her help to do everything.”
“Right. Of course.” Ron sighed. Sometimes it was like he had married both his best friends. “So, you’ve come to the stunning revelation that you’re attracted to Malfoy after a month of following him around, staring at him, and basically thinking about him every minute of every day. Yes, I can see why you needed Hermione’s help with that one.”
- Hair by poor_medea
“I’m starting to get a little worried about you, Potter.” Malfoy said, gathering up some papers from under the manticore.
“I think that’s a good sign”. Ron said later that day. “It means he’s thinking about you.”
“He’s thinking I’m touched in the head.” Harry pouted.
“But I’m sure in the best possible way!” Ron said brightly.
- Hair by poor_medea
Harry smiled, and pulled the sheets away, standing up to face Draco.
'I am not going shopping with you unless you give me a valid reason.' he said.
'You look like shit, Potter.'
There was a moment's pause.
'What time are we leaving, then?'
- Morning Glory by Miss Prongs
Draco smirked darkly. "Yes, well, I had a little talk with my 'brat', as you so kindly put it, and found out a few things about my future."
"Mr. Malfoy, you are aware that those students had been forbidden to reveal any type of information in regards to the future? If they are caught doing so, the consequences will be quite dire." Snape stated dangerously.
"My dear Professor Snape, you are forgetting who we are talking about. This child is not only a Malfoy, but a Potter as well. So not only do the rules not apply to him, but he also finds ways of not getting caught." Malfoy said rather smugly.
- Harry Potter And The Children Of The Future by Ahja Reyn
"Please tell me one of you guys has mango scented something." Gabe pleaded.
The seventh year boys all exchanged glances before shaking their heads.
"Sorry. I'm citrus." Dean replied.
"Cinnamon." Ron stated.
"I've got cocoa butter." Neville said.
"Moon petal musk."
Everyone turned to stare at Seamus.
"What? It smells nice."
- Harry Potter And The Children Of The Future by Ahja Reyn
"Yeah!" Gabe shouted back as he ran back to the boy's showers, only to be confronted by the smell of cinnamon.
"MERLIN'S BALLS! DAD, I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE UNCLE RON'S SHAMPOO!"
"Well, you were taking so long, I had to use something!" Harry argued.
"Wash that filth out of your hair immediately and use this!" Gabe shouted as he tossed the bottle of mango scented shampoo over the curtain.
"Ow!" Harry cried out as the bottle hit him on the head. "What's this?"
"It's Lavender's. Now shut up and finish your shower." Gabe shouted.
"But it smells girly!" Harry complained as he took a whiff of the bottle's contents.
"It's mango! How the hell does it smell more girly than yours?"
"I don't know! Maybe they add an essence of girl! Where'd you get this from again?"
"Lavender Brown!"
"Oh bloody hell." Harry muttered as he proceeded to re-shampoo his hair.
- Harry Potter And The Children Of The Future by Ahja Reyn
"Well then, let's be glad the Sorting Hat put me in Gryffindor," Harry said as he headed over to the next tapestry, hoping to change the subject.
Behind him, Draco snorted. "Like it would have put you anywhere else."
Harry shrugged. "Just think, if it had put me in Slytherin, we could have been the best of friends, shagging like bunnies while terrorizing all of Hogwarts, or we'd still hate each other and have split the Slytherin house in two with our rivalry for power while having wild, angry sex, filled with bloodlust, on the side."
"Why do both of those scenarios contain sex?" Draco asked with a frown.
- Harry Potter And The Children Of The Future by Ahja Reyn
In the Entrance Hall, he noticed Draco Malfoy and sprinted forward. He skidded to a stop before the Slytherin and grabbed ahold of his shoulders.
“Potter! What in the Hell are you doing? Unhand me at once!” His silver eyes narrowed in anger as the Gryffindor grasped him tighter. He blinked in shock as the boy’s words finally registered.
“Malfoy! I want you to know that you will always be my rival! My one and only rival! The truest rival a wizard could ever have! I look forward to our future duels, pranks, petty spats, and malicious fights. You have been a constant thorn in my side the past five years and I want, no need, you to know how much I appreciate that. Whenever I’m happy, you are always there to make me feel like crap. Whenever something wonderful happens, you ruin it. Whenever my friends and I try to save the school, you do your best to mess up our plans and cause us injury. Whenever we are innocently passing by, you hex and curse us for no reason. Thank you for always being my rival; I look forward to future confrontations between us!” Potter finished speaking and calmly walked over to the Gryffindor Table, unknowingly leaving a crowd of frozen wizards and witches behind.
- Tea Collection by Kamerreon
The raven reached over and shoved his hand in Neville’s robe pocket. Honeyed eyes flew wide in shock. “Uh, Harry… what are you doing?” Neville asked.
“Peanuts,” Harry muttered, pushing his hand deeper in the pocket and wiggling it around. “There has to be peanuts in here.” When his search was fruitless, he removed his hand and pushed it into another one of Neville’s pockets. “Where are they? I have to have some.”
“Harry, I don’t have any peanuts,” Neville whispered.
“Why not?” Harry demanded.
Neville would have laughed at the odd question if he didn’t know his friend was completely serious. “I just don’t. I’m sure there will be peanuts at breakfast.”
“Brilliant!” Harry squealed.
He lasted for two minutes before walking backwards and feeling up the twins, digging through their bags and pockets. “Pecans, I would kill for some pecans right now.”
“Would you really kill someone for them?” Fred asked curiously.
Verdant eyes instantly flashed Avada Kedavra green. “Why, are you hiding some from me?”
- Tea Collection by Kamerreon
"Look," Harry said irritably, "would you rather be dead?"
"Ask me in another week," Draco shot back. "Though I'm not sure how I'd kill myself in this place anyway. Strangle myself with some toilet paper?"
- Patient Zero by violet_quill
“How would you describe your relationship with Auror Potter?”
Draco didn’t even blink. “He’s my partner. I trust him to investigate the cases assigned, to defend my back in a fight, and to fill out the paperwork at the end of the day.” He paused. “Actually, I really only trust him with the first two. Potter can’t write for shit.”
- A Potion And A Buddy by lunadragon
“Would you consider yourself and Auror Potter to be friends?”
Draco lifted an eyebrow. “Sure, why not. He’s the Boy Who Lived, I’m the son of a Death Eater: it’s a match made in ironic heaven.”
“Do you ever think that maybe your sarcasm is a defense mechanism that you employ in order to cover your own vulnerability?”
“No, I think my sarcasm is an offensive weapon to be used against people much stupider than I am. It also doubles as a source of amusement for all like minded parties.”
- A Potion And A Buddy by lunadragon
"So, let me get this straight," Draco said, leaning back in his chair. "You - " he pointed at the Weaselette - "got raped, and found yourself up the duff." The Weaselette scowled. Potter turned crimson. "You - " he pointed at Potter - "married the Weaselette, and subjected the entire Wizarding World to the torrid tale of your storybook marriage and ultimate oh-so-understanding divorce, rather than let her abort her Death Eater spawn." Draco was fairly certain that steam was beginning to come out of Potter's ears. "And then Finnigan takes your cast-off cast-offs on as a family of his own, thus granting the little bad seed a proper papa so she doesn't grow up like her real real daddy's crowd. Does Finnigan know, by the way? That she's not yours?"
- Bad Acts by madsciencechick
Draco tapped his fingers together, and plotted. "Fine, then," he said at last. "I'll help you, and your beard, and the little Death Snacker. On one condition."
- Bad Acts by madsciencechick
Draco raised an eyebrow. "Am I to understand you're calling our little arrangement off?" He examined his nails. "I mean, I don't care, but little Alma - "
"Anna."
"- little Anna might." Draco shifted. "Of course, she'd only care if she lived long enough to find out."
- Bad Acts by madsciencechick
"Any idea who sent it?"
"I compiled a list," Draco said. "Among those wishing revenge for the part you played in the war, oh so many years ago, the most likely culprit is my father. However, the handwriting's atrocious and the author rambles on, though I suppose Lucius could have been drunk at the time. But, seeing as there's no diatribe regarding your parentage, your bad posture, or your messy hair, I struck him from my list of suspects."
- Between Conspirators by mahaliem
How about your friends? Are any of them harbouring a seething hatred for me?"
"I'm sure you'll find this difficult to believe, but whenever we get together, we have far more important matters to talk about than you. Matters such as the weather, comparing Quidditch brooms, and the difficulty of getting house-elves to look presentable without actually giving them clothes. The last time I remember your name coming up was during the coverage of your divorce. Tell me - did your wife really catch you and Krum in a compromising position?"
Harry felt a very large headache coming on. "I'm not discussing that with you."
Draco quickly sat up. "She did!" he said, glee evident. "Is it true that you would've uttered an Obliviate spell but couldn't as your mouth was full?"
- Between Conspirators by mahaliem
Harry blinked again and slowly spun around, tracking each mushroom with his eyes. When he returned his gaze to the red-faced Seamus, he stopped. "You're telling me that since I'm standing here in a clump of fungus, that the fairies will come and get me?"
- A (Not Quite) Fairy Tale by LdDurham
"Malfoy, I am not going anywhere with you. You are an under-handed, sneaky, lying, conniving-"
"Stop, you're making me blush."
- A (Not Quite) Fairy Tale by LdDurham
Potter scratched the back of his head and looked like he didn't know which allegation to address first. "I also talked McGonagall into accepting Pansy back. Do you think I'm in love with her, too?" he asked finally.
"Really?" Draco asked, distracted. "She thinks you hate her. She's convinced you'll try to murder her. I hear she sleeps with her wand and wakes up in the middle of the night shouting, 'Is he here? Is he here?'"
- The Ties That Bind Us by Faith Wood
It wasn't Astoria and Draco standing at the altar, but Pansy and Blaise.
"I'm sorry, my dear," Blaise said, taking a step back. "But you heard the man -- he loves me. I'd be a fool if I turned down a chance at Potter's arse."
"You're the arse," Pansy said, whacking her groom not-so-lightly with her bouquet.
Harry's gaze shifted to the man standing next to Blaise. "Draco," he breathed out.
"Harry?" Draco said. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought..." Harry glanced to the side to see Narcissa seated near the front row of spectators, looking smug. Next to her, Lucius appeared thunderous, but with his wife's hand firmly clasped around his wrist and holding his wand down, he remained silent.
"I thought you were getting married today," Harry continued. He moved further up the aisle until he stood directly in front of Draco. "I couldn't let that happen. Not loving you the way I do."
"I'm not sure if I would trust him," Blaise drawled to Draco. "He seems very fickle. Why only moments ago, he was declaring his love for me."
- Greeting Expectations by mahaliem
Draco carefully walked Harry back to the wall and propped him up against it, then stepped back and straightened his robe. "Do you mean to say that neither of your little friends or your girlfriend know you're here?"
"Ginny thinks I'm with Ron and Hermi...Hermio... my other friend. The girl one."
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
Harry pushed off from the wall and weaved toward Draco. "You Slytherthins have dirty minds."
"We do. It's the gift that keeps on giving."
Harry took another sip from his bottle as he tried to make sense of that.
Draco shook his head at Potter and headed for the door. "As interesting as this conversation isn't, I'm afraid I should be-"
"Hey, Draco," Harry interrupted. "Wanna see a big snake?"
Draco stopped to stare at Harry. "If that's your idea of a pick-up line, then I'm not surprised you're still a virgin."
"It's not reeeally a snake."
"I figured that out."
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
"Think that story's in the back pages by now. Didn't you see the latest? You're the one that's on the front page. Rita's got you boozing and whoring to ease your heartbreak. There's even a survey that gets magically updated every time someone fills it out on who they think will be the one to mend your broken heart."
Harry put his head in his hands. "I'm afraid to ask."
"Hermione's winning," Ron said. "Currently, I'm fourth."
"You're fourth?" Harry asked with an air of disbelief.
"I know. You'd think with our history, I'd be third, at least."
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
I had a terrific Christmas," Draco said. "I especially enjoyed my Christmas present from Harry. He got Kinky for me for Christmas."
Ron coughed. "Too much information."
"It's not like it sounds!" Harry protested.
"Harry, I'm trying to be a good friend to you," Ron said. "But I'm also your boss and all I ask is that you keep it out of the office. Please."
Reluctantly, Harry nodded.
"There was a house-elf involved," Draco piped up.
"Aaargh!" said Ron, clapping his hands over his ears.
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
"You have a daughter old enough to marry?" Harry asked. He suddenly felt old.
"Yes, my oldest. Olive. Don't know how this book is going to help me with my son-in-law."
"Read it," Draco told him. "And if that doesn't work, you can always use it to hit him."
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
"I'm not naked," Draco snapped back, with as much dignity as one hastily dressing could possibly muster. "I'm half-clothed from waist down, if you didn't notice."
"No, I didn't notice, and thank goodness for that." Harry paused, and sneaked a glare at Draco, who was busy doing up the buttons of his shirt, mismatching them, and didn't notice him. "What the hell are you doing, Malfoy, prancing around the Forest topless in the middle of the night? Some tribal dance to the moon god? Have you gone insane?" Harry shook his head in mock bafflement. "I always had my suspicions about you, Malfoy, but I never thought you'd be so stark raving mad to run around Hogwarts in the buff."
- Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn
"Oh well, he's absolutely right. I am mad. With both of you. So go away." Draco picked up another book and held it open in front of his face. "Don't you have anything else to do? Have you finished all the food in the kitchen already? You can start eating the house-elves next."
Goyle looked revolted at first, then seemed to consider the idea. "You mean they're edible?"
"How would I know?" Draco rolled his eyes. "Why don't you run along and find out? And while you're at it, you can eat Mrs. Norris for dessert. Now go away and leave me alone."
- Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn
"Who were you talking to? There's no one here." Goyle looked quizzically around the empty dormitory. "Are you talking to yourself, Draco?"
"Yes, it's about the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation these days," Draco remarked dryly.
- Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
"I can't believe you like tuna sandwiches," Harry said as they settled back at the lookout point for lunch.
"Why not?"
"It's Muggle food."
"Bite your tongue."
"No, we learned that in Muggle Studies, in the section on blending in. It includes a list of food of ours that's commonly eaten by Muggles, so that we can order things and not look strange. There's a list of things not to ask for - pumpkin juice, that kind of thing. And a list of our foods that originally came from Muggles."
Malfoy peered at his sandwich as though it offended him.
"Mind you, I don't think Muggles include salamander tongue sauce in the recipe."
Malfoy took another bite. "Why would you take Muggle Studies, anyway?"
"Easy course. Besides, I really don't know all that much about normal Muggle life."
"You were raised by Muggles."
"I'd like to believe the Muggles who raised me weren't normal."
"Why not?"
"Because if they are, maybe your father has a point about Muggles after all."
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
"Why don't we sit at the Gryffindor table today, and the Slytherin tomorrow?"
"Because my house mates will throw up if they have to sit near you while they're eating."
"Then we can sit at the Gryffindor table again. Gryffindor constitutions are not as delicate."
"Piss off."
"I'd love to. Unfortunately there's this little problem of the curse."
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
"I don't like getting so far behind in school work."
"Why do you care?" Harry asked curiously.
"What?"
"About your marks, about school work. It's not like you have to get top grades in order to be hired by the Ministry or anything."
"God, Potter, you are clueless," Malfoy snickered. "It's not about getting a job, it's about earning respect in order to have influence over other people. Just because you're the heir of a respected family, that doesn't mean you can just sit back and let your name do everything for you."
"It doesn't?"
"No, you twit. If you're a blithering idiot, no mere name is enough to earn anybody's respect. My father doesn't just get people to do what he wants because he's from an old family; he's also very intelligent and people know it."
"He's also an arrogant manipulating-" Harry bit back the rest of his opinion and Malfoy chuckled.
"You say that as though it's a bad thing."
"It is."
"Potter, should I remind you that that's your father-in-law you're talking about?"
"Oh god, no," Harry groaned, and Malfoy laughed.
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
"What does he think about all of this?" Harry asked, grasping for something to say to keep him from thinking about this too much.
"Father? He's delighted. He always hoped I'd marry far below my station, to somebody completely inappropriate in just about every conceivable way. This exceeds his wildest dreams."
Harry noted the waspish tone and tried not to think about what it meant that part of him was rather relieved to hear it. "Does he blame you?"
"For walking through a door? Merlin, Potter, my father has high expectations of me but I don't think even he could think that this is my fault."
"Still, I'm sure this is making things... awkward for your family."
"I'm sure it is," Malfoy said curtly.
"Doesn't he tell you?"
"With you in the room every time we talk? Oddly, no."
"I use a silence spell."
"Yes, and Slytherins are well known for trusting the honesty of their rivals. It's part of how we get ahead in life."
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
Harry dropped back onto the bed, relief washing over him. God, the only thing worse than arriving late for McGonagall's class was arriving late for Snape's. He lay there until the dizzy feeling subsided, then sat up to inspect his breakfast tray, which seemed brimming with all his favourite breakfast foods.
"Dobby," he said fondly, and Malfoy looked up from his book.
"Dobby?"
"House elf. He likes me."
"We had a house elf named - oh. Right."
"Yeah."
"That explains why my toast was soggy and my pumpkin juice was warm."
- Bond by Anna Fugazzi
Tell me, Potter, what do you think happens when someone contradicts Draco? You must know. You've done it before."
"He hexes you?" But Harry's mind was full of a different Malfoy, who looked at him with soft, concerned eyes and led him towards the hospital wing. Of course, that was only possible to think of if he hadn't tucked that experience into the great ball of nonexistence, which he did just then, which meant he had never had the thought and had to look in confusion at Parkinson's slowly shaking head.
"No," said Parkinson. "Of course not. He whinges. For hours. You should have heard the endlessness with which he went on and on about you being Sorted into Gryffindor and refusing to be his friend the first night of first year. It was hard to tell which of those two experiences irritated him most. At least, he thought they were part of a conspiracy of the universe against him."
"And then when he found out you were a Parselmouth," Zabini added, "it was the same thing. 'Why should he get to have it and I don't?' Finally I snapped that maybe it was because you were the one meant to fight the Dark Lord and he wasn't, which made him shut up and think for-" He glanced at Parkinson.
"Half a minute," Parkinson said. "That's all. Then he started in again on the subject of how you should have been his best friend."
"And then there was the time last year," Zabini muttered darkly, "that I heard this kind of high, thin whinge coming behind the curtains of his bed, mixed with your name. I wanted to know how he could be blaming you for something when you weren't even at Hogwarts, so I opened the curtains. And-"
"Blaise," Parkinson said in a deadly serious voice. "We don't talk about the Curtains Incident. We don't ever talk about it."
- Water From A Stone by Lomonaaeren
"Yep. So… uhh… how are you liking this part of Ireland?" Potter asked. There was a large poster of a toucan balancing a glass of Guinness on its beak as it flew through a blue background to the left of Potter's head. Behind him, Draco could hear the inconsequential talk of wool prices and local politics pick up and filter through the soft hum of American country music.
He thought about which mask to slip on, which line of small talk to ply Potter with and realized he simply didn't care. With a shrug he said, "It's cold and smells like sheep shit."
With a bark, Harry laughed, defeating the tension that had crackled between them since their confrontation that morning.
He must be insane, truly and utterly, Draco thought as Potter choked on his laughter and hid his face in the crook of his arm where he'd slammed it against the table.
"God, Draco," Potter said once he'd earned a breath again, "Only you could sum up a place as beautiful and peaceful as Durrus with such limited, yet completely accurate, observations." He sighed with a smile. "There is a pervasive scent of sheep in the air, isn't there?"
- Charmed Wool by winnett
“The thing is, Hermione wanted me to talk to you. She and I have come to the conclusion that I might be slightly...um, attracted to Malfoy.”
“Harry, why do you need my wife’s help to decide who you’re attracted to?”
Harry looked surprised. “It’s Hermione. I need her help to do everything.”
“Right. Of course.” Ron sighed. Sometimes it was like he had married both his best friends. “So, you’ve come to the stunning revelation that you’re attracted to Malfoy after a month of following him around, staring at him, and basically thinking about him every minute of every day. Yes, I can see why you needed Hermione’s help with that one.”
- Hair by poor_medea
“I’m starting to get a little worried about you, Potter.” Malfoy said, gathering up some papers from under the manticore.
“I think that’s a good sign”. Ron said later that day. “It means he’s thinking about you.”
“He’s thinking I’m touched in the head.” Harry pouted.
“But I’m sure in the best possible way!” Ron said brightly.
- Hair by poor_medea
Harry smiled, and pulled the sheets away, standing up to face Draco.
'I am not going shopping with you unless you give me a valid reason.' he said.
'You look like shit, Potter.'
There was a moment's pause.
'What time are we leaving, then?'
- Morning Glory by Miss Prongs
Draco smirked darkly. "Yes, well, I had a little talk with my 'brat', as you so kindly put it, and found out a few things about my future."
"Mr. Malfoy, you are aware that those students had been forbidden to reveal any type of information in regards to the future? If they are caught doing so, the consequences will be quite dire." Snape stated dangerously.
"My dear Professor Snape, you are forgetting who we are talking about. This child is not only a Malfoy, but a Potter as well. So not only do the rules not apply to him, but he also finds ways of not getting caught." Malfoy said rather smugly.
- Harry Potter And The Children Of The Future by Ahja Reyn
"Please tell me one of you guys has mango scented something." Gabe pleaded.
The seventh year boys all exchanged glances before shaking their heads.
"Sorry. I'm citrus." Dean replied.
"Cinnamon." Ron stated.
"I've got cocoa butter." Neville said.
"Moon petal musk."
Everyone turned to stare at Seamus.
"What? It smells nice."
- Harry Potter And The Children Of The Future by Ahja Reyn
"Yeah!" Gabe shouted back as he ran back to the boy's showers, only to be confronted by the smell of cinnamon.
"MERLIN'S BALLS! DAD, I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE UNCLE RON'S SHAMPOO!"
"Well, you were taking so long, I had to use something!" Harry argued.
"Wash that filth out of your hair immediately and use this!" Gabe shouted as he tossed the bottle of mango scented shampoo over the curtain.
"Ow!" Harry cried out as the bottle hit him on the head. "What's this?"
"It's Lavender's. Now shut up and finish your shower." Gabe shouted.
"But it smells girly!" Harry complained as he took a whiff of the bottle's contents.
"It's mango! How the hell does it smell more girly than yours?"
"I don't know! Maybe they add an essence of girl! Where'd you get this from again?"
"Lavender Brown!"
"Oh bloody hell." Harry muttered as he proceeded to re-shampoo his hair.
- Harry Potter And The Children Of The Future by Ahja Reyn
"Well then, let's be glad the Sorting Hat put me in Gryffindor," Harry said as he headed over to the next tapestry, hoping to change the subject.
Behind him, Draco snorted. "Like it would have put you anywhere else."
Harry shrugged. "Just think, if it had put me in Slytherin, we could have been the best of friends, shagging like bunnies while terrorizing all of Hogwarts, or we'd still hate each other and have split the Slytherin house in two with our rivalry for power while having wild, angry sex, filled with bloodlust, on the side."
"Why do both of those scenarios contain sex?" Draco asked with a frown.
- Harry Potter And The Children Of The Future by Ahja Reyn
In the Entrance Hall, he noticed Draco Malfoy and sprinted forward. He skidded to a stop before the Slytherin and grabbed ahold of his shoulders.
“Potter! What in the Hell are you doing? Unhand me at once!” His silver eyes narrowed in anger as the Gryffindor grasped him tighter. He blinked in shock as the boy’s words finally registered.
“Malfoy! I want you to know that you will always be my rival! My one and only rival! The truest rival a wizard could ever have! I look forward to our future duels, pranks, petty spats, and malicious fights. You have been a constant thorn in my side the past five years and I want, no need, you to know how much I appreciate that. Whenever I’m happy, you are always there to make me feel like crap. Whenever something wonderful happens, you ruin it. Whenever my friends and I try to save the school, you do your best to mess up our plans and cause us injury. Whenever we are innocently passing by, you hex and curse us for no reason. Thank you for always being my rival; I look forward to future confrontations between us!” Potter finished speaking and calmly walked over to the Gryffindor Table, unknowingly leaving a crowd of frozen wizards and witches behind.
- Tea Collection by Kamerreon
The raven reached over and shoved his hand in Neville’s robe pocket. Honeyed eyes flew wide in shock. “Uh, Harry… what are you doing?” Neville asked.
“Peanuts,” Harry muttered, pushing his hand deeper in the pocket and wiggling it around. “There has to be peanuts in here.” When his search was fruitless, he removed his hand and pushed it into another one of Neville’s pockets. “Where are they? I have to have some.”
“Harry, I don’t have any peanuts,” Neville whispered.
“Why not?” Harry demanded.
Neville would have laughed at the odd question if he didn’t know his friend was completely serious. “I just don’t. I’m sure there will be peanuts at breakfast.”
“Brilliant!” Harry squealed.
He lasted for two minutes before walking backwards and feeling up the twins, digging through their bags and pockets. “Pecans, I would kill for some pecans right now.”
“Would you really kill someone for them?” Fred asked curiously.
Verdant eyes instantly flashed Avada Kedavra green. “Why, are you hiding some from me?”
- Tea Collection by Kamerreon
"Look," Harry said irritably, "would you rather be dead?"
"Ask me in another week," Draco shot back. "Though I'm not sure how I'd kill myself in this place anyway. Strangle myself with some toilet paper?"
- Patient Zero by violet_quill
“How would you describe your relationship with Auror Potter?”
Draco didn’t even blink. “He’s my partner. I trust him to investigate the cases assigned, to defend my back in a fight, and to fill out the paperwork at the end of the day.” He paused. “Actually, I really only trust him with the first two. Potter can’t write for shit.”
- A Potion And A Buddy by lunadragon
“Would you consider yourself and Auror Potter to be friends?”
Draco lifted an eyebrow. “Sure, why not. He’s the Boy Who Lived, I’m the son of a Death Eater: it’s a match made in ironic heaven.”
“Do you ever think that maybe your sarcasm is a defense mechanism that you employ in order to cover your own vulnerability?”
“No, I think my sarcasm is an offensive weapon to be used against people much stupider than I am. It also doubles as a source of amusement for all like minded parties.”
- A Potion And A Buddy by lunadragon
"So, let me get this straight," Draco said, leaning back in his chair. "You - " he pointed at the Weaselette - "got raped, and found yourself up the duff." The Weaselette scowled. Potter turned crimson. "You - " he pointed at Potter - "married the Weaselette, and subjected the entire Wizarding World to the torrid tale of your storybook marriage and ultimate oh-so-understanding divorce, rather than let her abort her Death Eater spawn." Draco was fairly certain that steam was beginning to come out of Potter's ears. "And then Finnigan takes your cast-off cast-offs on as a family of his own, thus granting the little bad seed a proper papa so she doesn't grow up like her real real daddy's crowd. Does Finnigan know, by the way? That she's not yours?"
- Bad Acts by madsciencechick
Draco tapped his fingers together, and plotted. "Fine, then," he said at last. "I'll help you, and your beard, and the little Death Snacker. On one condition."
- Bad Acts by madsciencechick
Draco raised an eyebrow. "Am I to understand you're calling our little arrangement off?" He examined his nails. "I mean, I don't care, but little Alma - "
"Anna."
"- little Anna might." Draco shifted. "Of course, she'd only care if she lived long enough to find out."
- Bad Acts by madsciencechick
"Any idea who sent it?"
"I compiled a list," Draco said. "Among those wishing revenge for the part you played in the war, oh so many years ago, the most likely culprit is my father. However, the handwriting's atrocious and the author rambles on, though I suppose Lucius could have been drunk at the time. But, seeing as there's no diatribe regarding your parentage, your bad posture, or your messy hair, I struck him from my list of suspects."
- Between Conspirators by mahaliem
How about your friends? Are any of them harbouring a seething hatred for me?"
"I'm sure you'll find this difficult to believe, but whenever we get together, we have far more important matters to talk about than you. Matters such as the weather, comparing Quidditch brooms, and the difficulty of getting house-elves to look presentable without actually giving them clothes. The last time I remember your name coming up was during the coverage of your divorce. Tell me - did your wife really catch you and Krum in a compromising position?"
Harry felt a very large headache coming on. "I'm not discussing that with you."
Draco quickly sat up. "She did!" he said, glee evident. "Is it true that you would've uttered an Obliviate spell but couldn't as your mouth was full?"
- Between Conspirators by mahaliem
Harry blinked again and slowly spun around, tracking each mushroom with his eyes. When he returned his gaze to the red-faced Seamus, he stopped. "You're telling me that since I'm standing here in a clump of fungus, that the fairies will come and get me?"
- A (Not Quite) Fairy Tale by LdDurham
"Malfoy, I am not going anywhere with you. You are an under-handed, sneaky, lying, conniving-"
"Stop, you're making me blush."
- A (Not Quite) Fairy Tale by LdDurham
Potter scratched the back of his head and looked like he didn't know which allegation to address first. "I also talked McGonagall into accepting Pansy back. Do you think I'm in love with her, too?" he asked finally.
"Really?" Draco asked, distracted. "She thinks you hate her. She's convinced you'll try to murder her. I hear she sleeps with her wand and wakes up in the middle of the night shouting, 'Is he here? Is he here?'"
- The Ties That Bind Us by Faith Wood
It wasn't Astoria and Draco standing at the altar, but Pansy and Blaise.
"I'm sorry, my dear," Blaise said, taking a step back. "But you heard the man -- he loves me. I'd be a fool if I turned down a chance at Potter's arse."
"You're the arse," Pansy said, whacking her groom not-so-lightly with her bouquet.
Harry's gaze shifted to the man standing next to Blaise. "Draco," he breathed out.
"Harry?" Draco said. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought..." Harry glanced to the side to see Narcissa seated near the front row of spectators, looking smug. Next to her, Lucius appeared thunderous, but with his wife's hand firmly clasped around his wrist and holding his wand down, he remained silent.
"I thought you were getting married today," Harry continued. He moved further up the aisle until he stood directly in front of Draco. "I couldn't let that happen. Not loving you the way I do."
"I'm not sure if I would trust him," Blaise drawled to Draco. "He seems very fickle. Why only moments ago, he was declaring his love for me."
- Greeting Expectations by mahaliem
Draco carefully walked Harry back to the wall and propped him up against it, then stepped back and straightened his robe. "Do you mean to say that neither of your little friends or your girlfriend know you're here?"
"Ginny thinks I'm with Ron and Hermi...Hermio... my other friend. The girl one."
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
Harry pushed off from the wall and weaved toward Draco. "You Slytherthins have dirty minds."
"We do. It's the gift that keeps on giving."
Harry took another sip from his bottle as he tried to make sense of that.
Draco shook his head at Potter and headed for the door. "As interesting as this conversation isn't, I'm afraid I should be-"
"Hey, Draco," Harry interrupted. "Wanna see a big snake?"
Draco stopped to stare at Harry. "If that's your idea of a pick-up line, then I'm not surprised you're still a virgin."
"It's not reeeally a snake."
"I figured that out."
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
"Think that story's in the back pages by now. Didn't you see the latest? You're the one that's on the front page. Rita's got you boozing and whoring to ease your heartbreak. There's even a survey that gets magically updated every time someone fills it out on who they think will be the one to mend your broken heart."
Harry put his head in his hands. "I'm afraid to ask."
"Hermione's winning," Ron said. "Currently, I'm fourth."
"You're fourth?" Harry asked with an air of disbelief.
"I know. You'd think with our history, I'd be third, at least."
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
I had a terrific Christmas," Draco said. "I especially enjoyed my Christmas present from Harry. He got Kinky for me for Christmas."
Ron coughed. "Too much information."
"It's not like it sounds!" Harry protested.
"Harry, I'm trying to be a good friend to you," Ron said. "But I'm also your boss and all I ask is that you keep it out of the office. Please."
Reluctantly, Harry nodded.
"There was a house-elf involved," Draco piped up.
"Aaargh!" said Ron, clapping his hands over his ears.
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
"You have a daughter old enough to marry?" Harry asked. He suddenly felt old.
"Yes, my oldest. Olive. Don't know how this book is going to help me with my son-in-law."
"Read it," Draco told him. "And if that doesn't work, you can always use it to hit him."
- The Simple Joy Of Living by mahaliem
"I'm not naked," Draco snapped back, with as much dignity as one hastily dressing could possibly muster. "I'm half-clothed from waist down, if you didn't notice."
"No, I didn't notice, and thank goodness for that." Harry paused, and sneaked a glare at Draco, who was busy doing up the buttons of his shirt, mismatching them, and didn't notice him. "What the hell are you doing, Malfoy, prancing around the Forest topless in the middle of the night? Some tribal dance to the moon god? Have you gone insane?" Harry shook his head in mock bafflement. "I always had my suspicions about you, Malfoy, but I never thought you'd be so stark raving mad to run around Hogwarts in the buff."
- Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn
"Oh well, he's absolutely right. I am mad. With both of you. So go away." Draco picked up another book and held it open in front of his face. "Don't you have anything else to do? Have you finished all the food in the kitchen already? You can start eating the house-elves next."
Goyle looked revolted at first, then seemed to consider the idea. "You mean they're edible?"
"How would I know?" Draco rolled his eyes. "Why don't you run along and find out? And while you're at it, you can eat Mrs. Norris for dessert. Now go away and leave me alone."
- Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn
"Who were you talking to? There's no one here." Goyle looked quizzically around the empty dormitory. "Are you talking to yourself, Draco?"
"Yes, it's about the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation these days," Draco remarked dryly.
- Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn