(no subject)
My life is just so wonderful and aweful....and terribly terribly complicated.
You know I sit and think about Sean, it amazes me that I can have such love for a person. I know people say that all the time, but I really feel that this is real and that's something that is new to me. He's not your average person...he's scary and damaged most of the time, but he has such redeeming qualities and I find all of it so attractive. I feel like I'm on fire when I'm around him. You don't find that everyday and when you do, you have to hold on to it as hard as you can.
I find it interesting that last night my plans were to tell Sean that I had it, that I understood the pressure he was under with Amber and the baby and everything, and that I was just going to leave and let him figure out what he needs to do. I wanted so hard to leave him last night and I just couldn't bear to do it. Dramatic sounding, I know. Last night he came to the house and seriously needed me more than he ever had before. What kind of a choice is that? He finally opened up and let me help him. And that's all I have wanted to do...was help him. This made me realize that I just can't abandon him when he is down like this. You just don't do that to the people you love. And I'm glad I didn't, because last night meant the world to me.
Yea, I think it's love.
You know I sit and think about Sean, it amazes me that I can have such love for a person. I know people say that all the time, but I really feel that this is real and that's something that is new to me. He's not your average person...he's scary and damaged most of the time, but he has such redeeming qualities and I find all of it so attractive. I feel like I'm on fire when I'm around him. You don't find that everyday and when you do, you have to hold on to it as hard as you can.
I find it interesting that last night my plans were to tell Sean that I had it, that I understood the pressure he was under with Amber and the baby and everything, and that I was just going to leave and let him figure out what he needs to do. I wanted so hard to leave him last night and I just couldn't bear to do it. Dramatic sounding, I know. Last night he came to the house and seriously needed me more than he ever had before. What kind of a choice is that? He finally opened up and let me help him. And that's all I have wanted to do...was help him. This made me realize that I just can't abandon him when he is down like this. You just don't do that to the people you love. And I'm glad I didn't, because last night meant the world to me.
Yea, I think it's love.