OMG!!!!! Breakdowns
Lyrics I Like:
“…Now I cant breathe, no I cant sleep… im barely hangin on”
“Here I am, once again, im torn into pieces, cant deny it, cant pretend…”
“ You wont get to see the tears I cry… behind these hazel eyes!”
“ ALL THAT’S LEFT OF ME, IS WAT I PRETEND TO BE… SO TOGETHER BUT SO BROKEN UP INSIDE!”
Yeah Kelly is right on I am torn into pieces. I hate this I’m 19 years old I should be able to go out for more than one weekend a month. I work hard and I try always to respect my mom’s wishes but damn it I can’t even freakin’ breathe!!! THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! I have lived on my own for a about a year when I went away to school and thank goodness cuz I would have killed my mom if it wasn’t for me goin away to skool. Within that one year I learned a lot and I did pretty well considering the drama both with my dad and with my suitemates. I came out of that experience with a great roomie (I <3 You Lauren) and a new way to handle things (forget the drama im too young and gotta live life wit no regrets). I’ve grown up a lot and I cant seem to get my mom to see that. Why do I have to subject myself to constant judgments and guidelines? Most girls my age are making a lot of the wrong choices, and me? Im stayin home on a Saturday night so my mom doesn’t get mad cuz I hung out the night before? Dorky? YES! Why cant she just see that the choices I’ve made and the friends I hang out with are good for me? All my friends go to college, have jobs, don’t smoke, don’t drink (well not a lot at least), and respect their parents. Whats so bad about that? I cant even stay over with a friend without leavin my friends social by the phone so my mom doesn’t freak out on me. I feel like a prisoner. I mean I am a homey person who doesn’t go out a lot anywayz. I don’t go clubbin. Hey!! Im young I should be out experiencing things and staying out later but Nooooooooo my mom thinks midnight is too late when I leave the house at 11? What kinda crap is that?? I don’t have siblings and I honestly think I have a mild case of A.D.D. so being home all the time is ridiculous. I love my friends like they are my family cuz I’ve known most of them for years and we still have remained close, which is a lot to say about my quality of friends, you kno? Yes I have made some bad judgments when I was in highskool but that’s wat growing is about? Because really how can u make good judgments if u don’t sometimes make bad ones? All I’ve been doin this summer is work and straight home to wake up and do the same shyt again… then on weekends if im allowed to go outside I have a freakin curfew! Could you just chill this is like highskool all over again… I do nothin I don’t even hang out afterskool unless I actually have work to do or clubs to run… then on rare weekends I cant even go to my friends house with parental supervision to watch a movie? Wat kind of nonsense is that? Don’t get me wrong I love my mom and am very proud of her cuz she raised me all on her own and did a great job J but she is turning me into a home-body someone who doesn’t like to go out someone who cant take risks... someone who is scared to experience anything new. DAMN IT! I don’t want to be a home body I want to be able to go out by myself and do my own thing ive turned into this dependent person who trusts no one and cant seem to ever really experience things to its fullest extent. I want to fall in love , get hurt, cry , feel pleasure, be overly excited, be moody , be restless, be strong be independent but I cant seem to shake this shyt!!!!! Wat am I supposed to do I cant even talk to my mom cuz she is just as hard headed as her parents are! I think im going to have a serious meltdown...but I have to wait til AFTER work... go figure I have to schedule my breakdowns and make sure it doesnt inconvenience anyone!
Song Playing Now: “You & I Both”- Jason Mraz
Lyrics I Like:
“You and I both loved… what you and I spoke of… and others just read of… others only read of… the love… the love that I loved”
“And its okay, if u had to go away, just remember the telephones well they’re workin’ in both ways, but if I never ever hear them ring, If nothin’ else I’ll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else and that’s okay, cuz I’ll remember everything u said…”
“…Now I cant breathe, no I cant sleep… im barely hangin on”
“Here I am, once again, im torn into pieces, cant deny it, cant pretend…”
“ You wont get to see the tears I cry… behind these hazel eyes!”
“ ALL THAT’S LEFT OF ME, IS WAT I PRETEND TO BE… SO TOGETHER BUT SO BROKEN UP INSIDE!”
Yeah Kelly is right on I am torn into pieces. I hate this I’m 19 years old I should be able to go out for more than one weekend a month. I work hard and I try always to respect my mom’s wishes but damn it I can’t even freakin’ breathe!!! THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! I have lived on my own for a about a year when I went away to school and thank goodness cuz I would have killed my mom if it wasn’t for me goin away to skool. Within that one year I learned a lot and I did pretty well considering the drama both with my dad and with my suitemates. I came out of that experience with a great roomie (I <3 You Lauren) and a new way to handle things (forget the drama im too young and gotta live life wit no regrets). I’ve grown up a lot and I cant seem to get my mom to see that. Why do I have to subject myself to constant judgments and guidelines? Most girls my age are making a lot of the wrong choices, and me? Im stayin home on a Saturday night so my mom doesn’t get mad cuz I hung out the night before? Dorky? YES! Why cant she just see that the choices I’ve made and the friends I hang out with are good for me? All my friends go to college, have jobs, don’t smoke, don’t drink (well not a lot at least), and respect their parents. Whats so bad about that? I cant even stay over with a friend without leavin my friends social by the phone so my mom doesn’t freak out on me. I feel like a prisoner. I mean I am a homey person who doesn’t go out a lot anywayz. I don’t go clubbin. Hey!! Im young I should be out experiencing things and staying out later but Nooooooooo my mom thinks midnight is too late when I leave the house at 11? What kinda crap is that?? I don’t have siblings and I honestly think I have a mild case of A.D.D. so being home all the time is ridiculous. I love my friends like they are my family cuz I’ve known most of them for years and we still have remained close, which is a lot to say about my quality of friends, you kno? Yes I have made some bad judgments when I was in highskool but that’s wat growing is about? Because really how can u make good judgments if u don’t sometimes make bad ones? All I’ve been doin this summer is work and straight home to wake up and do the same shyt again… then on weekends if im allowed to go outside I have a freakin curfew! Could you just chill this is like highskool all over again… I do nothin I don’t even hang out afterskool unless I actually have work to do or clubs to run… then on rare weekends I cant even go to my friends house with parental supervision to watch a movie? Wat kind of nonsense is that? Don’t get me wrong I love my mom and am very proud of her cuz she raised me all on her own and did a great job J but she is turning me into a home-body someone who doesn’t like to go out someone who cant take risks... someone who is scared to experience anything new. DAMN IT! I don’t want to be a home body I want to be able to go out by myself and do my own thing ive turned into this dependent person who trusts no one and cant seem to ever really experience things to its fullest extent. I want to fall in love , get hurt, cry , feel pleasure, be overly excited, be moody , be restless, be strong be independent but I cant seem to shake this shyt!!!!! Wat am I supposed to do I cant even talk to my mom cuz she is just as hard headed as her parents are! I think im going to have a serious meltdown...but I have to wait til AFTER work... go figure I have to schedule my breakdowns and make sure it doesnt inconvenience anyone!
Song Playing Now: “You & I Both”- Jason Mraz
Lyrics I Like:
“You and I both loved… what you and I spoke of… and others just read of… others only read of… the love… the love that I loved”
“And its okay, if u had to go away, just remember the telephones well they’re workin’ in both ways, but if I never ever hear them ring, If nothin’ else I’ll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else and that’s okay, cuz I’ll remember everything u said…”