Good News and Potentially Bad News..
After Ro's mum, Kathie (my mother-in-law in practice if not in name yet) left Robert's alcoholic father but BEFORE she married his Step-Father (who had known his mother since before Ro was born so they are already very close...tho didn't get married until April '09 and it was a beautiful courthouse wedding), she was on and again off again, mostly on with a man named Ted.
Let me tell you up front that Ted passed away yesterday. Officially due to his heart (Poor Kathie, her mom had a heart attack last week but is well and home already, Thank Dog. Because I love Gramdma Bettie and she is sweeter to me than my own grandmother was. Sad but True.) Anyway, though Ted's death in his early 60s was OFFICIALLY heart problems, there are other factors. He had bad diabetes for YEARS. But he didn't change his lifestyle. Not after he lost a toe and they said 'you will lose your foot if you continue'. He continued. Lost half his foot....then the rest. Said "Stop your lifestyle NOW or the amputations will continue". He didn't listen. The started amputating below the knee, he didn't change, above the knee, didn't change, then the next leg started the same process.
According to Robert the first couple years when Ted was well, he was nice and that's what his mother saw and loved. But the next ten years he blamed EVERYONE but himself for his health problems and became a cold hearted sod, pushing people away left and right. But like with me and Blaek, Kathie didn't see who he became or was, only who she fell in love with and was blinded by that romantic vision of that great guy she fell for. Have I mentioned Kathie is also a painter, as in, talented enough to sell her paintings. I think being a romantic, sweet, sensitive AND an artist go hand in hand a majority of times.
Anyway, poor Ted is gone now and he pushed away EVERYONE sadly, according to Ro. So even though a married woman now, Kathie would still help Ted out, with or without her husband, so much so that she is in charge of getting him buried and sorting his papers. I feel so bad for her. Two people close to her have heart issues the same week, one close friend/ex dies from it, PLUS she is still caring for HER elderly mother-in-law and terminal brother-in-law. That's how we were able to have this condo for now. While they are caring for family for another ??????months or?????? years, their Condo would be empty, so we live here and will just have to pay the Condo fees which is a third of rent but the electricity will bring it back up but it's nicer, the neighborhood is safe, we can have Miles and one hand washes the other. Plus, they are allowing us room to get ahead while I work though my health and Ro goes back to school, etc. It works for us all. Without help from my in-laws.....I can't even imagine where we'd be.
THE BAD NEWS- And again...I HATE that I feel it is...
Ted had a cat named 'Boogie' as in 'Get Down'. (not his original name but close enough that he will understand he is being called without me having vile or vulgar terms used around me daily. Call me stuck up, but nasal mucus is not a proper name for a breathing being....so he is now "Boogie".) Ted had no family but a sister who is also ill. Kathie says she tried to find a place for the cat but had no luck. He is THIRTEEN years old, a big black tom-cat. Now, I USED to be a cat person... the first 25 or so years...as a little girl, I collected cats and piano things. Yet I'm allergic, so i had to have short haired, indoor/outdoor, brushed them constantly and lived on medicine for my allergies.
But these last 7 or so years, I am more of a dog person. Maybe before, cats fit into my selfish life of working, clubbing, being out, feeding it, cleaning it's box, and off I'd go. I would love it when home, but it didn't NEED me every hour. Now I'm older and I am ok with something needing more care and love. I still love cats, but I am more of a dog lover.
HERE ARE MY BIG TIME FEARS:
1) Boogie will fuck up the chi in my little family/home.
2) Miles is JUST NOW COMFORTABLE with knowing these are HIS things, HIS bowls, HIS beds, HIS humans. I don't want some creature to come in and bother Miles. The three of us sleep in the middle of our huge King Size bed in a big family heap. How would Boogie fit into this?
3) We weren't asked, we were told. Yet we can't say "No" because they are doing us a solid with letting us use the Condo. We owe them so much, there is no way we can say no...we are obligated. I will just have to take Benadryl often since I am allergic to prolonged exposure to cat dander. Plus I hear he is a long hair. YIPES!!!
4) I think we are expected to keep this cat until it too passes in the next couple years. That puts the brakes on our plans to get Miles a doggy buddy this Winter of his choosing. Two animals, ok. three? No way. Plus, I hope to be pregnant or have a newborn in two years....
5)What if Miles or I get close to Boogie?! Finally grow to love him and he's gone. That is such a shitty thing to do to someone as sensitive as me. Have me care for a cat that could die anytime in the coming year. I fall in love with every damn animal I meet...what if I grow to really adore him and we lose him? How would Miles understand a friend being gone??
6) I am "The Food" giver and cleaner of Miles' things. Daddy is the walker (sometimes I take him for a short pee pee walk if Ro is working but Robert doesn't want me alone on the trails with a cane so we just do number one out back unless Ro is ill or working, then I try to walk him as long as I am able). When Boogie comes, I will be the food giver to both but would have to put them in separate area's so they know they have their OWN BOWLS and OWN food. Remember how skin and bones Miles was when we rescued him?? He had been with a foster family one month with 4 cats and I am guessing he never got a bite!!! The first few weeks here, he looked over his shoulder when fed, like waiting to see who would eat first. Robert had to pantomime that he ate a little so Miles' would think the Alpha ate so it was his turn. Or I will eat 'people kibble' on the couch where he can see and hear me while he eats his. He only recently dives in, KNOWING that's ALL his food and toys. I wanted him to have a good year of being a lone dog before he picked a friend and was the alpha, showing a new buddy the ropes. I don't want some cat playing with his things or sleeping in his spots. I Feel SOOOO SELFISH but Miles' feelins are -my- responsibility now, just as his body and well being are...God, I hate feeling so selfish! This poor cat just lost his Daddy!! =(
I am Damned if I love Boogie and Damned if I don't. BTW, Ro is a SLOB, so guess which gal with a fractured spine will be on litter box duty??? I bet you guessed correctly. Two gold stars.
So, although I am a member of SIX, count them,
Six 'Animal Rights' organizations at this (or any given) moment, I just feel having a newcomer will be bad. Boogie is so old himself and I/We have been trying soooo hard to love Miles', spoil him, reinforce his good behavior, tell him 'NO' when we don't like something (which is like once every other month!!). And we have JUST got him understanding this is his forever home and castle and always will be, as long as he is with us.... then this. I can't and won't tell Kathie that this makes me uncomfortable. You don't look a gift horse in the mouth. But they said 'make this place your own' but have made it impossible. I feel like this is just a really long house sitting. I won't feel like I am in my own home until we move again. Not that I want to soon or could handle the strain even but I just don't feel like I am home. I feel I am watching -their- home. How selfish of me. I am being selfish and I should feel lucky. Luckily there is a spare room for a nursery is we are here THAT long, but I would like Ro to get off his arse and clean up the junk in the guest room so boogie's box and bed and stuff can go in there and he will have his own little space to chill out in.
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The Good News??!?!
Miles Is Still Freaking ADORABLE!!!!
Miles Vs. Da Big Bad BUG!!!
http://s336.photobucket.com/user/dinahdonovon/media/VID_20130517_143546_zpsdf328c59.mp4.html
Click to viewThanks for allowing me to admit my selfish feelings..