You looked like you needed it... Or maybe I just did
Unconditional love is beautiful. It is by far the most powerful of all forms of love. I don't know what was nestled beneath my brain cutting off enough oxygen for me to believe that it wasn't something special. It's of magnificent splendor. To be capable of loving someone always and forever no matter of the circumstances without even having to think about it... that's something magical. At times it seemed evil, as if someone like me could ever be capable of loving unconditionally... but I can. It's been proven. And that is why it used to anger me so much. It'd take control of everything, and I could not fight it. You cannot fight unconditional love. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to rid yourself of it. It becomes a part of you, and as with any piece of yourself, you'd be incomplete without it. I'm rather enthralled by the whole concept of it. It amazes me... wow. Tonight is the night I will finally not be afraid to admit that I am In Love with Love.
Sometimes it feels as if I'm slowly disappearing. I've changed so much that I don't even know where I've gone, even though I know I'm still here somewhere. I can't feel at all these days. I'm numb to the touch of emotions. Never in my life did I once dare to think that someday all emotions would avoid me completely. I'd been trying to avoid them time and time again. Now they've become fed up with me and just decided to leave. It's been weeks since I've cried. Days since I've been angry. Months since I've pitied anyone in any way. But only seconds since I've discovered that we're all confused, my emotions and I. I try to feel them, but they continue running away from me. I don't know what I've done to cause them such discontent. I've waited night after night for the tears to drop... but my eyes are experiencing a drought and I'm sure it will not be long before the moisture is completely gone. I'm not happy this way. I can't even feel happiness. It's been so long since I've laughed a real laugh that I'm sure most people have forgotten what my laugh truly sounds like, including myself. Oh it makes no sense at all. It's not right. Why? WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and THEY just feel so artificial. THEY aren't real. THEY're only here because I want THEM to be here. THEY don't need to be here. Don't want to be here. But I want THEM here. So badly. Just to have and keep and love but THEY're so surreal and uninviting and still lack viscosity among their floods and suddenly THEY're just gone. THEY didn't stay long. THEY resemble shooting stars... you spend so much time hoping for just one that your too blind to see how many actually surround you and the days become less fortunate while your still wishing and its not long before things get so bad that you just can't even comprehend your own thoughts and then you go crazy and finally in the midst of everything a flash appears but you haven't seen one in so long that you can't even tell if it's just an airplane or a strike of lightning and everything becomes unreal while the world stops spinning for at least ten seconds and you wonder what your doing on this Earth and why you think the way you do because everything seems so wrong and if you were to really analyze the whole situation you'd run into simplicity of the circumstances but you don't want that, you like keeping things complex and unreachable in hopes that soon maybe, just maybe you'll finally break down and get what you wanted all along... but you don't even know what you've been longing for.