Weekends of EPIC FAILURE...
More details to come.
I know I don't keep you people posted enough on what's going on with my life, but I need to make sense out of it first so I can put it into words. My health ain't that good, but it's stable aside from the burnt part on my face that I will tell you about later on today...
I'm so drained it isn't even funny...
I worked my ass off all week last week.Friday, about an hour before closing, I put some cream cheese in the microwave to warm it up a bit so it would spread up nicely on the sandwiches I was making. wWhen I opened the door, it EXPLODED unto my face. My uniform had some from my hat to my shirt pocket. If I hadn't been wearing glasses, I would have probably lost sight in one of my eyes right now. I managed to have just 2 scars, one below my right eye and the other above my glasses on my forehead. but it sucks, means I can't wear makeup for my cosplay at Otakuthon next weekend if it doesn't finish healing soon. I'm putting cream and aloe and shit on it dily, I'm using peroxyd on it at least 3 times a day to keep infection out. At first, it was just a bit red and not swollen at all, butby the time I got home and washed my face, a layer of skin ripped and there were parts bleeing. It sucks... It felt so sureal, like a comic book hero making story. Unly, it wasn't radioactive or anything... EPIC FAIL|1
EPI
Then Saturday, I slept almost all day, then I went to pick up Kao~chan at Fantasia festival (I wanted to attend, but damn it, all the movies I wanted to see where sold out, EPIC FAIL#2).
We went to her place, her folks were out, I made her watch "Boku wa imouto ni koi wo suru", she made me smoke some weed because it wikipedia reommends using canabinoids to relieve fibromyalgia pain because opiaciates are ineffective, Italked to her about Jigoku shoujo that I want to cosplay and various other things, we went to bed. Got up at fuckin' 4 in the afternoon, all day had almost passed us by. Since the clock was on her side of the room (her bedroom is split in two by a half-wall screen-like thing) so I had no clue, having smoked and being all disoriented and the blinds all being down what time it was, I had started to read tome 2 of the NaNa manga (she has the whole series and having seen the movies, I'm looking forward to the 3rd one, but meanwhile, I'll have to read the books to keep myself patient).
we watched Mystery skin. It's a good movie, but like Requiem for a Dream, it's the kind of movie that brings back all the abuse memories and makes me feel awful. And since I'd been stalked last Saturday (it gave me a mental feeling not dissimilar to the one you get when you get raped, I felt "I hate myself and I feel dirty"), now, I just felt really bad about my wlife as a whole. Oh, and did I mention that my ex's friend has been harassing me to sleep with him, even though he has a girlfriend and three sons with her? I feel so disgusted at being a woman, right now. I wish I were anything be a female human right now... I want to be a rock, a snowflake, a bird, anything that cannot be touched with concupiscence and I don't like the feeling of men giving compliments trying to bed you...)
EPIC FAIL#3: I was supposed to feel better, I felt worse. And I was like so spaced out, I though her friend Pat was actually her second brother, having seen the first one and his little family a bit earlier on. I was SOOOOO gone, I don't think I'd been that stoned since before I got pregnant. I didn't like it. I think I'll stay on prescription medicine even if it is more expensive...
I'm avoiding Jo and his girlfriend as much as I possibly can. I told him I'm fed up of living with them, I need more headspace and some time ALONE in the appartment. Her presence is driving me nuts. I'm trying to find a new place to rent and possibly a new job, because it's not that I don't like my current job, but my health is too messed up and although the boss likes me and tries to keep me employed with my hectic sleep schedules and lateness and all, I need an office job with holidaus, paid vacations, insurances and all that shit. I need to earn more than 9$ an hourto pay off my debts and manage to live with my son again. I feel bad that he's trapped at my folks and that I can't seem him grow up and I miss him like crazy. I want my baby!!!
Mom has been pestering me to move back to St-Hyacinthe. My granny said she might move nearby and see tll the big house in the Eastern Townships because it's too large an expensive for her alone. I told her if she does move, I might be more interested in moving back in my hometown. It would be cool to go on treks and see museums with her and Nick and stuff my folks don't do because they need to maintain their house and land...
I'm confused. I'm bout to turn 25 and I have ABSO-fucking-LUTELY no idea what I want to do with the almost 80 years I might have left on this planet. I just want to see Nick grow up, I guess.
I'm kind of dissillusioned in love and the guy I had set my seights on who had just broken up with his girlfriend seems to have made a new one almost right away, although he was also saying he didn't want to live with anyone right now and stuff like that. I'm dissapointed in men so badly right now. And I'm not a lesbian, so it's a huge problem...
well, that's it... Talk to you guys and girls later!
I know I don't keep you people posted enough on what's going on with my life, but I need to make sense out of it first so I can put it into words. My health ain't that good, but it's stable aside from the burnt part on my face that I will tell you about later on today...
I'm so drained it isn't even funny...
I worked my ass off all week last week.Friday, about an hour before closing, I put some cream cheese in the microwave to warm it up a bit so it would spread up nicely on the sandwiches I was making. wWhen I opened the door, it EXPLODED unto my face. My uniform had some from my hat to my shirt pocket. If I hadn't been wearing glasses, I would have probably lost sight in one of my eyes right now. I managed to have just 2 scars, one below my right eye and the other above my glasses on my forehead. but it sucks, means I can't wear makeup for my cosplay at Otakuthon next weekend if it doesn't finish healing soon. I'm putting cream and aloe and shit on it dily, I'm using peroxyd on it at least 3 times a day to keep infection out. At first, it was just a bit red and not swollen at all, butby the time I got home and washed my face, a layer of skin ripped and there were parts bleeing. It sucks... It felt so sureal, like a comic book hero making story. Unly, it wasn't radioactive or anything... EPIC FAIL|1
EPI
Then Saturday, I slept almost all day, then I went to pick up Kao~chan at Fantasia festival (I wanted to attend, but damn it, all the movies I wanted to see where sold out, EPIC FAIL#2).
We went to her place, her folks were out, I made her watch "Boku wa imouto ni koi wo suru", she made me smoke some weed because it wikipedia reommends using canabinoids to relieve fibromyalgia pain because opiaciates are ineffective, Italked to her about Jigoku shoujo that I want to cosplay and various other things, we went to bed. Got up at fuckin' 4 in the afternoon, all day had almost passed us by. Since the clock was on her side of the room (her bedroom is split in two by a half-wall screen-like thing) so I had no clue, having smoked and being all disoriented and the blinds all being down what time it was, I had started to read tome 2 of the NaNa manga (she has the whole series and having seen the movies, I'm looking forward to the 3rd one, but meanwhile, I'll have to read the books to keep myself patient).
we watched Mystery skin. It's a good movie, but like Requiem for a Dream, it's the kind of movie that brings back all the abuse memories and makes me feel awful. And since I'd been stalked last Saturday (it gave me a mental feeling not dissimilar to the one you get when you get raped, I felt "I hate myself and I feel dirty"), now, I just felt really bad about my wlife as a whole. Oh, and did I mention that my ex's friend has been harassing me to sleep with him, even though he has a girlfriend and three sons with her? I feel so disgusted at being a woman, right now. I wish I were anything be a female human right now... I want to be a rock, a snowflake, a bird, anything that cannot be touched with concupiscence and I don't like the feeling of men giving compliments trying to bed you...)
EPIC FAIL#3: I was supposed to feel better, I felt worse. And I was like so spaced out, I though her friend Pat was actually her second brother, having seen the first one and his little family a bit earlier on. I was SOOOOO gone, I don't think I'd been that stoned since before I got pregnant. I didn't like it. I think I'll stay on prescription medicine even if it is more expensive...
I'm avoiding Jo and his girlfriend as much as I possibly can. I told him I'm fed up of living with them, I need more headspace and some time ALONE in the appartment. Her presence is driving me nuts. I'm trying to find a new place to rent and possibly a new job, because it's not that I don't like my current job, but my health is too messed up and although the boss likes me and tries to keep me employed with my hectic sleep schedules and lateness and all, I need an office job with holidaus, paid vacations, insurances and all that shit. I need to earn more than 9$ an hourto pay off my debts and manage to live with my son again. I feel bad that he's trapped at my folks and that I can't seem him grow up and I miss him like crazy. I want my baby!!!
Mom has been pestering me to move back to St-Hyacinthe. My granny said she might move nearby and see tll the big house in the Eastern Townships because it's too large an expensive for her alone. I told her if she does move, I might be more interested in moving back in my hometown. It would be cool to go on treks and see museums with her and Nick and stuff my folks don't do because they need to maintain their house and land...
I'm confused. I'm bout to turn 25 and I have ABSO-fucking-LUTELY no idea what I want to do with the almost 80 years I might have left on this planet. I just want to see Nick grow up, I guess.
I'm kind of dissillusioned in love and the guy I had set my seights on who had just broken up with his girlfriend seems to have made a new one almost right away, although he was also saying he didn't want to live with anyone right now and stuff like that. I'm dissapointed in men so badly right now. And I'm not a lesbian, so it's a huge problem...
well, that's it... Talk to you guys and girls later!