Waffllllllle.
There are a few things and people on my mind, and, surprisingly, John isn't one of them. Last night I found that I enjoyed myself. I was just lazing around my room after work, doing not a lot, watching tv, cooking dinner, talking to the builders and then after two or three hours I realised I hadn't thought of John once. This gives me heart, I may not be fully over everything, but I think the love is flowing away. Like the tide leaving the shore.
Dayan has been weighing heavily on my mind. I've realised some stuff, which people will snort at in their snorting ways, methinks, but it's all serious in my mind. I'm going to meet his mum soon for a drink to celebrate his life, however short, and to talk about him. Two years soon. Fuck me. Time has flown. I think one of the hardest things for me ever has to be leaving him in my past. And, right now, I feel like I'm regressing, I can feel myself escaping back into the time when I was with him and everything felt beautiful. Like this world actually wanted me around. Dayan's death didn't only wreck my heart and my first love, but it wrecked my world. I can still find beauty in this world, but sometimes they pale in comparison to what those few weeks were like. *sighh* It was such an innocent relationship, but full of good. If I ever have a child (ha. if I ever have sex again then I'll think about the children shizz) and if they ever have a relationship as good as that then I'll know they've found the right one for them. I guess this goes for me, because no matter how good it was with John, at first, it was never what it was with Dayan. I don't know. I should shut up.
Another thing on my mind is coursework, University, boys, cocks and work. Ughhh. My life feels repetitive and dull sometimes, but small things can make it seem so exciting. Examples I hear you cry for. Well. Tomorrow I'm going to this quiz night, which I'm looking forward to eagerly because of the special round. Haha. It's all about Cliff Richard! Oh yes. A whole round full of Cliff-y questions. The joy. Ha. It'll just be a laugh cos I'll be with my mum. I'm enjoying her company more and more as I grow up. And, hopefully, on Saturday we'll be going shopping, just us two.
In December I'm going to see the Foo Fighters. Wow I hear you shout in the background. Not only that I'm travelling to Glasgow to see them. Meh? I hear you gasp. Well! My friend Graeme lives there and we both adore the Foo's so we decided we'd see them when they toured. They're touring. We shall see them and we shall finally fucking meet! DUDE. So excited. SOOOO EXCITED.
Dayan has been weighing heavily on my mind. I've realised some stuff, which people will snort at in their snorting ways, methinks, but it's all serious in my mind. I'm going to meet his mum soon for a drink to celebrate his life, however short, and to talk about him. Two years soon. Fuck me. Time has flown. I think one of the hardest things for me ever has to be leaving him in my past. And, right now, I feel like I'm regressing, I can feel myself escaping back into the time when I was with him and everything felt beautiful. Like this world actually wanted me around. Dayan's death didn't only wreck my heart and my first love, but it wrecked my world. I can still find beauty in this world, but sometimes they pale in comparison to what those few weeks were like. *sighh* It was such an innocent relationship, but full of good. If I ever have a child (ha. if I ever have sex again then I'll think about the children shizz) and if they ever have a relationship as good as that then I'll know they've found the right one for them. I guess this goes for me, because no matter how good it was with John, at first, it was never what it was with Dayan. I don't know. I should shut up.
Another thing on my mind is coursework, University, boys, cocks and work. Ughhh. My life feels repetitive and dull sometimes, but small things can make it seem so exciting. Examples I hear you cry for. Well. Tomorrow I'm going to this quiz night, which I'm looking forward to eagerly because of the special round. Haha. It's all about Cliff Richard! Oh yes. A whole round full of Cliff-y questions. The joy. Ha. It'll just be a laugh cos I'll be with my mum. I'm enjoying her company more and more as I grow up. And, hopefully, on Saturday we'll be going shopping, just us two.
In December I'm going to see the Foo Fighters. Wow I hear you shout in the background. Not only that I'm travelling to Glasgow to see them. Meh? I hear you gasp. Well! My friend Graeme lives there and we both adore the Foo's so we decided we'd see them when they toured. They're touring. We shall see them and we shall finally fucking meet! DUDE. So excited. SOOOO EXCITED.