destroyed.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKTHISHURTSSOBAD
OHGOD
IDONTTHINKICANLIVETHISTIME
OHGOD
IM FEELING AND I HATE IT
ANDIHURT
ANDIWANTPEACE
i want peace.why cant anyone love me?
oh god. im hurting so much. i feel so sick. i want to throw up. i want to fucking die. RIGHT THIS SECOND. i have a bottle of vodka next to me and some diet coke. do i want to use it wisely or get the fucking pills? i dont know anymore.
we broke up again and this time.. it's ripped me apart.. i didn't believe it before. i believe it now. the fireworks are for a celebration but they feel like they're mocking me ... telling me no one can love you. no one wants you. none of my relationships work and this hurts.. more than ever before. how can i continue? i don't want to. i have no one..
THIS HURTS. FUCK YOU. THIS HURTS SO MUCH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FEELING? YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW BAD IT CAN GET. YOU'RE ONLY AT THE BEGINNING AND I FUCKING GAVE YOU THE CHANCE TO BE YOU AGAIN.. SO NOW. I'M BACK TO WHAT I WAS BEFORE. I AM DARK, CYNICAL, DEAD INSIDE, CRYING, WANTING TO DIE..
and worst of all? i feel im going to cut again.
so this is me now. stripped before you all. i can't hold it in anymore. there's too much crap in my world. and i know worst stuff happens. i know im only eighteen.. but in only eighteen and in these eighteen years i've been sexually abused, my virginity stripped from me without my consent, been to my boyfriend's funeral, been cheated on.. too much has happened in such a short space of time. why won't it end?
so. im telling it as it is. with tears running down my face.. with me not looking good, just looking as i am. destroyed.
FUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKTHISHURTSSOBAD
OHGOD
IDONTTHINKICANLIVETHISTIME
OHGOD
IM FEELING AND I HATE IT
ANDIHURT
ANDIWANTPEACE
i want peace.why cant anyone love me?
oh god. im hurting so much. i feel so sick. i want to throw up. i want to fucking die. RIGHT THIS SECOND. i have a bottle of vodka next to me and some diet coke. do i want to use it wisely or get the fucking pills? i dont know anymore.
we broke up again and this time.. it's ripped me apart.. i didn't believe it before. i believe it now. the fireworks are for a celebration but they feel like they're mocking me ... telling me no one can love you. no one wants you. none of my relationships work and this hurts.. more than ever before. how can i continue? i don't want to. i have no one..
THIS HURTS. FUCK YOU. THIS HURTS SO MUCH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FEELING? YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW BAD IT CAN GET. YOU'RE ONLY AT THE BEGINNING AND I FUCKING GAVE YOU THE CHANCE TO BE YOU AGAIN.. SO NOW. I'M BACK TO WHAT I WAS BEFORE. I AM DARK, CYNICAL, DEAD INSIDE, CRYING, WANTING TO DIE..
and worst of all? i feel im going to cut again.
so this is me now. stripped before you all. i can't hold it in anymore. there's too much crap in my world. and i know worst stuff happens. i know im only eighteen.. but in only eighteen and in these eighteen years i've been sexually abused, my virginity stripped from me without my consent, been to my boyfriend's funeral, been cheated on.. too much has happened in such a short space of time. why won't it end?
so. im telling it as it is. with tears running down my face.. with me not looking good, just looking as i am. destroyed.