(no subject)
Yesterday wasn't one of my better days. I ended up so wound up and so stressed that I made myself physically ill. Then had a panic attack in the bathtub, which was just as fun as ever. Sometimes I'm not positive if the problem is getting better or worse, to tell you the truth. They're clearly happening less frequently, but generally with more intensity when they do. I suppose we'll see in a few months.
I'd never thought of the HSC as being quite this scary. It's a stage of life, in a sense. A rite of passage for teenagers, though I'm well past that point now. But then I think about how it could shape my entire life and I start to get worked up again. I'm not sure how to balance everything at this point in time. I'm worried that I'll fall apart and then it will all be for nothing by this point. Which is obviously not something I want, because I have what... nine months left? Less?
I have my half-yearly exams in four weeks. So this means I have four weeks left to study enough for six subjects. Not the best way to feel -less- stressed, but I do think I need to study. My marks really do need to improve. Though at least now I have a vague goal. I've looked at a few courses and I've picked two from Newcastle University and two from Wollongong University. I'm leaning toward the ones from Newcastle though to be completely honest, the idea of having to move doesn't really appeal to me, so perhaps I should examine my options here a little more. I'm honestly really liking the idea of doing a Bachelor of International Studies, but I don't know how practical it will be.
Lately, I really have felt happier and more motivated, so that's something to be proud of. I think I'm slowly working myself back out of the rut I was stuck in. David obviously contributes to that a fair amount, but I won't say that's the only reason. Part is simply having a clearer goal in mind. Which is obviously always a plus.
I'd never thought of the HSC as being quite this scary. It's a stage of life, in a sense. A rite of passage for teenagers, though I'm well past that point now. But then I think about how it could shape my entire life and I start to get worked up again. I'm not sure how to balance everything at this point in time. I'm worried that I'll fall apart and then it will all be for nothing by this point. Which is obviously not something I want, because I have what... nine months left? Less?
I have my half-yearly exams in four weeks. So this means I have four weeks left to study enough for six subjects. Not the best way to feel -less- stressed, but I do think I need to study. My marks really do need to improve. Though at least now I have a vague goal. I've looked at a few courses and I've picked two from Newcastle University and two from Wollongong University. I'm leaning toward the ones from Newcastle though to be completely honest, the idea of having to move doesn't really appeal to me, so perhaps I should examine my options here a little more. I'm honestly really liking the idea of doing a Bachelor of International Studies, but I don't know how practical it will be.
Lately, I really have felt happier and more motivated, so that's something to be proud of. I think I'm slowly working myself back out of the rut I was stuck in. David obviously contributes to that a fair amount, but I won't say that's the only reason. Part is simply having a clearer goal in mind. Which is obviously always a plus.