Darling kittens and oddly scented bicycle chicks
Since the beginning of this year -- 2007, kids! -- I've dreamed dreams in which the following things occurred:
In other news, the Boy and I are thinking about getting a kitty.
And a question, if you please: Even if you were to hide the thing in a dead fish, a darling kitten wouldn't really be physically able to swallow a cell phone whole, right? Right? Thanks.
- I was threatened and chased but not physically harmed by zombies.
- I made a beautiful monkshead cappuccino in the Australian outback using mud, shaving cream, eucalyptus leaves, and chicory root that had been thoroughly "roasted" with a butane torch.
- I hit on a beautiful kneesocked bike messenger even after it was abundantly clear that she was a zombie.
- I was the victim of a horrific cellphone heist that was perpetrated by a small child, her mother, and a darling kitten just like this one:
- I watched an amazingly dull film in a theater that was located in the middle of an airfield soon after a darling kitten swallowed my cellphone.
- My partner and I adopted a kitten that somehow created videos of us having sex without the aid of a camera. By "us", I mean "my partner and I" and not "the kitten and I," you guys and, yes, these BOOP-watch-me-pull-a-porno-out-of-my-hat vids were automatically uploaded to YouTube. Hilarity ensued.
In other news, the Boy and I are thinking about getting a kitty.
And a question, if you please: Even if you were to hide the thing in a dead fish, a darling kitten wouldn't really be physically able to swallow a cell phone whole, right? Right? Thanks.