(no subject)
I can't sleep alone. I'm not proud of it. But if I try, I wind up laying in bed shaking, heart racing, crying. I hyperventilate. I sweat. Nothing helps. Nothing stops the pure, unstoppable panic. It is HELL.
And I'm a fucking burden on my boyfriend. And the added guilt coupled with the crippling fear, self-loathing and exhaustion is just the cherry on top of the shit sundae...
I hate life sometimes. Hate it. I get to go to work tomorrow on 2 hours of sleep. I'm going to be irritable and miserable. I have to get a ride from my fucking father because the son of a bitch needs the car for some stupid reason. Why can't I just be able to relax? To have a single good day without something going wrong. I hate everything right now.
And I'm a fucking burden on my boyfriend. And the added guilt coupled with the crippling fear, self-loathing and exhaustion is just the cherry on top of the shit sundae...
I hate life sometimes. Hate it. I get to go to work tomorrow on 2 hours of sleep. I'm going to be irritable and miserable. I have to get a ride from my fucking father because the son of a bitch needs the car for some stupid reason. Why can't I just be able to relax? To have a single good day without something going wrong. I hate everything right now.