(no subject)
Well then, hello to you (too) stranger. I haven't written in you in a while, haven't I? Well, my life has been still full of twists and turns. The last time I probably wrote something in you I was still 18. It's been a year, I've moved-- twice over-- and my life is still full of chaos. Not as much but still very boring, very plane and boresome. There's nothing special about my life and the occassional thought of suicide sounds saucy from time to time. No, I won't do it but it is so tempting simply because there isn't enough patience in me to sit around and just.. 'wait' for good things to come. Why is it that I have to 'wait' and 'endure' for great things to come? I don't think I can handle it. If Matt's Futhark reading was accurate, my life sucks. There are good things but they aren't GREAT. Sorry to be selfish or covetous but... life isn't good if it's just good. Life needs to be great although good is... good, but great is greater than good.
Now I sound like a 2 year old babbling about his choice of diction. Lovely.
So...love life, has is that? It is boring, dull, and... mostly collecting dust somewhere on the shelf locked away in my heart's basement. No, actually, my heart is in some sort of basement which is then collecting dust as well... or perhaps.. they both are? Ugh.. jargon, now I sound like a blabby Brit.
I've tried a few swings through Myspace but to no avail. It just welled up and bubbled into a bottle of nothingness. Wine from a box could be more delightful than meeting those people. Still, my mind is fixed on 'Tae' and this other named 'Blake'. I just don't think it'd work and my heart tells me not to get my hopes up because I'll just disappointment myself and so will they. Could it work? Will it fail? I think it will but I try anyway because I am so desperate to get out of my boring agenda and to strive for something better. I can't seem to do that anymore though because people have some sort of strange suspicions that I'm sort of.. stalker, body hacker, and God knows what else. I sit down, I talk, I introduce myself: I'm amiable. They? They suspect, question, analyze, or just plain deny me simply because I am not 'a pot of blonde and peach' accompanied with brilliant blues or gorgeous greens. That or I actually have a personality and an EQ higher than that of a vibrating dildo.
Imagine that!
Reduction...Reduction, people have lost their appeal. I'm tired of having to hunt people down. Now you see why I became that bitter old man in the past. Well, I'm going to be him again in the Winter. I think it'll be... fun and boring. How saucy.
Well... so much for my grandoise life of twists and turns. All it's become is a dull Sunday night show at Nick n' Nite.
When will God allow me to have my own colour and pigments? When will I have a life full of... meaning?
Now I sound like a 2 year old babbling about his choice of diction. Lovely.
So...love life, has is that? It is boring, dull, and... mostly collecting dust somewhere on the shelf locked away in my heart's basement. No, actually, my heart is in some sort of basement which is then collecting dust as well... or perhaps.. they both are? Ugh.. jargon, now I sound like a blabby Brit.
I've tried a few swings through Myspace but to no avail. It just welled up and bubbled into a bottle of nothingness. Wine from a box could be more delightful than meeting those people. Still, my mind is fixed on 'Tae' and this other named 'Blake'. I just don't think it'd work and my heart tells me not to get my hopes up because I'll just disappointment myself and so will they. Could it work? Will it fail? I think it will but I try anyway because I am so desperate to get out of my boring agenda and to strive for something better. I can't seem to do that anymore though because people have some sort of strange suspicions that I'm sort of.. stalker, body hacker, and God knows what else. I sit down, I talk, I introduce myself: I'm amiable. They? They suspect, question, analyze, or just plain deny me simply because I am not 'a pot of blonde and peach' accompanied with brilliant blues or gorgeous greens. That or I actually have a personality and an EQ higher than that of a vibrating dildo.
Imagine that!
Reduction...Reduction, people have lost their appeal. I'm tired of having to hunt people down. Now you see why I became that bitter old man in the past. Well, I'm going to be him again in the Winter. I think it'll be... fun and boring. How saucy.
Well... so much for my grandoise life of twists and turns. All it's become is a dull Sunday night show at Nick n' Nite.
When will God allow me to have my own colour and pigments? When will I have a life full of... meaning?