I'm paranoid of all the people I meet, why are they talking to me....
People make such a big deal about being disappointed about the holiday season. They go through and get themselves all hyped up about stuff that they want to happen. When it doesn't happen, yeah, sure, it's depressing. At least you get to have those few weeks\days of hopefullness that expresses some of what the holiday season is. A season of hope, warmth, and happyness spread between friends and family. At least you fucking get that. I don't even get that little bit of bullshit wool to pull over my eyes. I got to sit here staring blankly at the 25th on my calandar knowing that I will have NONE of the holiday joy and trying to supress the need to go kneecap every christmas shopper within a twenty five mile radius. Yeah, christmas has no real tie to the exchange of presents, but considering I get jack shit from anyone else (other than the random stuffed animal and care package when I'm in the hospital ;)) over the course of the year in terms of birthday or anything like that, it's generally nice to get the few things that I NEED around christmas.
But then again, I don't think I've gotten a single thing that I've really wanted on christmas in the past few years. Last year all I wanted from my mother for Christmas was an SLR camera. I gave her a list of a couple of models that I liked, the place to pick them up, the prices, shit, I even printed out pictures. What did she come home with for me for christmas? A 30 dollar camera she picked up from Target on sale for 10 bucks. Joy to the fucking world. Way to go on PAYING ATTENTION.... *sigh*...
Maybe I'm just griping, but this just pisses me off. At least you get to have a fucking christmas and get to spend it with people that you care about. I don't even get to see my father today because he's off in a truck trying to support his family. While I sit here alone in my basement wanting to fucking stab myself with a spoon. Merry Fucking Christmas.
But then again, I don't think I've gotten a single thing that I've really wanted on christmas in the past few years. Last year all I wanted from my mother for Christmas was an SLR camera. I gave her a list of a couple of models that I liked, the place to pick them up, the prices, shit, I even printed out pictures. What did she come home with for me for christmas? A 30 dollar camera she picked up from Target on sale for 10 bucks. Joy to the fucking world. Way to go on PAYING ATTENTION.... *sigh*...
Maybe I'm just griping, but this just pisses me off. At least you get to have a fucking christmas and get to spend it with people that you care about. I don't even get to see my father today because he's off in a truck trying to support his family. While I sit here alone in my basement wanting to fucking stab myself with a spoon. Merry Fucking Christmas.