Woman Like a Man
You hated yourself for being so stupid. You hated yourself for being so dissatisfied. You hated yourself for being so broken.
Finn had taken the parts of yourself that you had given freely and Puck took everything that was left over. Finn had been the perfect boyfriend, the boy your parents approved of and Puck had been the perfect bad boy, the boy all the girls at school approved of. Finn had been the father you had chosen for the baby and Puck was the father of the baby.
You’d lost parts of yourself while you had been with them;
Innocence,
Delicacy,
Faith,
Intelligence,
Humanity,
And the fear that they would never return made you want to demolish the parts of you that were left…so it’s exactly what you did.
The music pumps loudly through Brittany’s house, vibrating the floor beneath your feet, as you lock the door behind you. The room is dark and it takes your eyes a minute to focus, and only seconds to land on her. Rachel fucking Berry. Despite the fact that you had fed her four strongly made drinks, she stands there steadily, not even the slightest sway evident…and it pisses you off.
She’s everything you’re not;
Confident,
Talented,
Honest,
Courageous,
Compassionate,
And the rage that surges through your body at this realization has you cornering her against the wall but it’s the way your body reacts to her warm breath against your cheek that has a plan formulating in your head…and the fact that it would not only destroy what was left of yourself but also pieces of her had you smiling down into her face.
You assaulted her mouth with teeth and tongue, brutal and probing, giving her no choice but to keep up with the pace you were setting. Your hands were rough, grabbing and clawing at any flesh that was exposed, and when Rachel pushed you down onto Brittany’s bed you growled. Soon she had your clothes scattered on the floor and was staring at you, staring right through you.
“Fuck me Rachel!” You stop before the please comes out because after all it’s not a question it’s a fucking demand.
And when she bites down on your shoulder…
The last shreds of your self respect fall to the floor.
And when her nails leave angry red marks down your back…
Your dignity flies out the window.
And when her fingers start a ruthless pace deep within you…
Your empathy crumbles.
And when she’s done, and she stands before you and licks her fingers clean, straightens her clothes and walks out the door without a single word…
You revel in the wreckage of your life, you revel in the emptiness, and you revel in the fact that now Rachel has to live with the fact that she was the one that let you fade away.