Emotions/Feelings/Pitty Party/Acceptance
I had to say it somewhere. This is the only place where I know no one is going to pay attention lol. I don't feel like I can take this. I know what I did was the best for me. Doesn't make me feel like any less of an asshole. I don't feel like I have any friends, and I'm not being dramatic. I know I have friends, but no one I can trust with this.
Maybe we had to break up for me to appreciate the fact that he was always there to listen. Not like it matters. I couldn't handle it. Made no sense to me. How am I supposed to just open up to someone. I'm done dating. I'm tired of always hurting people I love. It's not worth it for me. Until I can figure out who I am, what I want, what I can give, and how not to be an asshole... I think I'm just going to stop.
I really just don't even want to be alive right now. I am not going to kill myself. But this place? Being alone, feeling alone, I just can't deal. I wish I could really cry about it, get out the emotion. I can't cry. I'm just going to sit here and let it bottle itself up. I'm going to drink the pain away anyhow.
Enough of this sob fest. Let someone else be this pathetic. I'll go on like I always do, and probably relive this same cycle over and over again.
Maybe we had to break up for me to appreciate the fact that he was always there to listen. Not like it matters. I couldn't handle it. Made no sense to me. How am I supposed to just open up to someone. I'm done dating. I'm tired of always hurting people I love. It's not worth it for me. Until I can figure out who I am, what I want, what I can give, and how not to be an asshole... I think I'm just going to stop.
I really just don't even want to be alive right now. I am not going to kill myself. But this place? Being alone, feeling alone, I just can't deal. I wish I could really cry about it, get out the emotion. I can't cry. I'm just going to sit here and let it bottle itself up. I'm going to drink the pain away anyhow.
Enough of this sob fest. Let someone else be this pathetic. I'll go on like I always do, and probably relive this same cycle over and over again.