Baseball Fever (84/90): Charlie gets up early and Don takes a risk
Title: Baseball Fever (84/89)
Summary of the story (only updated through chap 42)
Full Chapter List (up to date)
Fandom: NUMB3RS
Pairing/characters: Don Eppes/Colby Granger, Don Eppes/Charlie Eppes, Don Eppes/OMCs
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Charlie discovers some unexpected things about his sexy older brother.
Part 84: Charlie gets up early and Don takes a risk
Don and Charlie try to make things work, but Charlie's doctor sees things differently
Word Count: 2441
Notes/Warnings: (Spoilers) Sibling incest, abusive relationship, suicidal thoughts
Previously in "Baseball Fever": Still reeling from being dumped by his abusive boyfriend Colby, Don gets himself injured by a former sex partner. Charlie rescues Don and nurses him back to health. After Don is recovered, they allow their mutual attraction to flare again, an attraction that Charlie has struggled with all his life but that Don only recently discovered at a hotel getaway. They agree that there is no future in a romantic relationship between them. Charlie decides that he needs to find Don a boyfriend, and chooses a family friend, Alexei. Don and Alexei begin dating, though Don is still in the closet. They date for almost six months.
Don gets a jolt when he receives a letter from his landlord which reminds him that he used to pay for his rent with sex. Though Alexei is supportive of Don getting help, all of Don's deep hatred for himself comes roaring back and he is certain he can never have a healthy, normal relationship. He breaks up with Alexei and goes home to drown his sorrows. There he discovers that Alan has left for two weeks, and more importantly, Charlie's not been eating much since Don got together with Alexei, and also walking to excess.
Don spends the next two weeks taking care of Charlie, including taking him to work, to see the doctor, and feeding and aiding him. Charlie has hidden his deterioration from his doctor as well, and his doctor almost puts Charlie in the hospital. Don manages to convince the doctor to give him time to improve Charlie's condition. Don and Charlie both struggle with their own demons while trying to rescue Charlie's health. Don begs Charlie, 'If you try to stay with me, I will try to stay with you.'
With Don's constant attentions, slowly Charlie's mind and body begin to improve and he's able to stay out of the hospital. He insists on giving Don regular blowjobs, which Don is very conflicted about. Charlie is not able to have a erection of his own. After two weeks of healing, Charlie is finally able to have an erection, relieving them both.
Alan returns home and Don chews him out for letting Charlie get into that state. Don also has to explain to Alan why he broke up with Alexei. The three Eppes go to start clearing out Don's apartment. Charlie's sleeping difficulties begin to threaten his recovery.
Part 84: Charlie gets up early and Don takes a risk
Charlie woke with a start and looked around for a clock. It was 4:06AM and he was in his bed. He had fallen asleep on the couch in Don's arms. Don must have carried him up to bed when it was clear he wasn't going to wake for supper.
His left hand felt strange, and Charlie realized he was holding something tight in his fist. He opened his hand to find Don's car keys. It took him several minutes to figure out why they were there, then he felt a surge of muddled emotion - relief, anxiety, fear… comfort. He fumbled on his headboard and found his cellphone.
He turned it on and pressed the #1 on his favorite contacts.
The phone rang
…and he heard it through the wall.
Don answered, his voice gravelly. "Charlie? You finally wake up?"
"Yeah. Did you carry me upstairs?"
"Yeah, haven't done that in years." Don paused then said, "I'm right next door. I haven't gone anywhere."
"Did you want to?"
"Charlie," Don said with a sigh. "Don't wake me up at 4AM and ask me that."
"Sorry, sorry."
"Hey, you hungry? I can get you something to eat."
"Now?" But Charlie felt something odd in his stomach, it might even be hunger. "You've got work in the morning."
"It is morning," Don said wryly. "And you only ate once yesterday. Let me get you something."
"Breakfast in bed?"
Don chuckled. "Sounds messy. C'mon, I'll help you downstairs. Not carrying you!"
Don hung up and Charlie heard the creak of the hallway floorboards, that sound he'd been straining to hear every night. Instead, Don came into Charlie's bedroom.
Don was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, his hair tousled. Immediately, Charlie thought of the mornings at the mountain resort. Don looked the same - and had that same mischievous look on his face.
He came over and sat on the bed as Charlie sat up. Leaning over, Don took Charlie's face in his hands. Then they were kissing heavily, hungrily, their hands on each other's shoulders and face.
Charlie felt his grogginess burn away and his body heat up. Don's hand dug into Charlie's hair and he moaned softly against Charlie's lips.
They both pulled back at the same time, looking towards the door.
"Sorry," Don whispered. "It's just been so long."
Charlie grimaced. He knew Don had a high sex drive.
"No," Don whispered, correctly interpreting Charlie's expression. "I didn't mean that. It's been so long since I've been with you, with no pain or illness in the way. Just you and me together."
Charlie gave Don a shaky smile and whispered back, "I know. But I may not be the only one who heard you in the hallway."
"Yeah," Don sighed. In a normal voice, he said, "Do you need help getting downstairs?"
"Just be there if it looks like I'm going to fall."
Don gave him a smile that melted his bones. "Always, buddy."
Charlie smiled goofily back at him. His memory was awful these days, but he never forgot how much he loved Don.
Shaking himself, Don stood up. He reached down and helped Charlie to his feet. "Let's get you something to eat."
Charlie's eyes went directly to Don's groin and Don gave a pained chuckle. "C'mon, Chuck."
Charlie shrugged regretfully then let Don help him down the stairs. By the time they got to the kitchen and Don pulled out a chair from the table, Charlie was exhausted. He sagged into the chair.
"Rest for a minute," Don said. "And I'll make you, um…"
Don opened the fridge and stared into it, mumbling to himself. Charlie put his head down on his arms and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Don bustling around the kitchen.
He woke up to a delicious smell and Don's hand on his shoulder.
Charlie opened his eyes and saw an omelet with ham, cheese, tomatoes, and green peppers. Don was sitting at the table next to him, an identical omelet on his plate.
"Dig in," Don said. He picked up his fork and took Charlie's hand with his other.
Charlie smiled and picked up his own fork.
They ate in comfortable silence, holding hands, like they had before Alan came home. Charlie was able to eat the entire omelet and drink a glass of orange juice.
As Charlie sat back, Don gave him a questioning look. Charlie waited for a moment then nodded. This meal felt like it was going to stay down.
"Do you want me to help you back to bed?" Don asked. "I'm going to get dressed and go into work."
"So early?"
"Eh, I'm awake." He gave Charlie a wry smile, "Plus I'm pretty behind on my paperwork. Haven't been able to concentrate much lately."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"I'd love you to come, buddy, but you look like you could sleep more and you'll do that better at home."
Reluctantly, Charlie nodded. "Okay, but I'll just sleep in the recliner downstairs."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
Charlie got up and Don followed him into the family room. Charlie sat down in the big recliner and Don settled a blanket around him. Then he handed Charlie's cellphone to him.
Don closed Charlie's fingers around the phone. "Call me if you're ever worried. It might just be me and Ben in the office, but I'll let you talk to him so you know I'm really there."
Charlie nodded, already feeling sleepy with his full stomach. Ben was the night janitor. "Smart guy," he said. "Knows more than some of your agents."
"I know," Don said. "He's just got to finish his degree."
Charlie nodded again and closed his eyes.
He fell asleep to the sound of Don cleaning up the kitchen.
It was Wednesday afternoon, and Don was sitting in the small lobby of a doctor's office. It was decorated with soothing wood and leather and the calm abstract paintings of every doctor's office lobby he'd ever been in. He squeezed his hands together until they ached.
On Monday morning, he had gone into work, leaving Charlie sleeping in the recliner. He'd gotten a lot of paperwork done but kept his cellphone close to his hand in case Charlie ever needed him. Charlie hadn't called and the day had gone by. He'd checked in with his dad at lunch and learned that Charlie had slept most of the morning and was now watching tv and eating some soup. And they were out of eggs, thank you very much.
That evening, the three of them plus Penny had eaten dinner together and played a casual hand of cards. Don had chewed his lip when he'd realized that Charlie wasn't counting cards like he usually did.
Tuesday morning, Penny headed home to Santa Barbara, Don headed to work, and Alan and Charlie headed to see Dr. Ray. The doctor had not been happy, to put it mildly. He had told Alan that Charlie hadn't improved in the last week and maybe even worsened. The doctor had ordered more bloodwork and told Alan that Charlie needed to take a half-dose of the sleeping pills every single night, no matter how groggy they made Charlie feel. He forbade Charlie going into work with Don or even leaving the house. Charlie's job was to eat and sleep and nothing else. Before he'd let Charlie leave, Dr. Ray had made him get a bag of intravenous fluid with nutrients and vitamins.
When Alan had told him what Dr. Ray had said, Don had felt so helpless. He hadn't been able to think of anything he could do to help Charlie.
Until he had.
Now he was here, paperwork filled out and set on the seat next to him, soft cheerful music playing from a small speaker on a table with silk flowers.
The door to the inner office opened and Don looked up.
"Hi Don," Dr. Sandra Sullivan said, "Come on in."
Don stood up, picked up the filled-out forms, and followed her into the office. He handed her the forms and shut the door behind them.
Dr. Sullivan sat down in a chair and glanced through the forms. Don looked around the office. It looked like every other shrink's office that he'd ever been in - a desk with a computer and a few personal decorations, a small bookcase, a few plants, a large picture window, and two comfortable chairs set diagonal to each other. There was even a box of tissues on the small table between the chairs.
Don stood with his back to the door and waited for Dr. Sullivan-Sandy, to look up. When he'd called yesterday, they'd gone through the whole thing about her accent, and why she didn't use the same bartender voice when she was in this office. He'd also given her the brief version of how Charlie was doing, and she'd been dismayed it had gotten so bad. Then she'd said she had a cancelation the next day and they'd worry about the insurance later. To his own surprise, Don had agreed to come.
Sandy looked up. "Have a seat."
Don shook his head. "Not yet. I want to clear up some things first if we're… If we're gonna do this."
"Okay, like what?"
"I'm not giving him up."
"Who?"
"Charlie, my brother, my baby brother. We've had sex a few times since the resort, more than a few if you count blows, and it's good every time. It's amazing. It's a connection like I've never felt. And we're going to have sex again when he's healthy. And if you're going to tell me we need to stop, I'm going to just leave now. I'm not stopping, we're not stopping."
Sandy pursed her lips thoughtfully. "All I can promise is that I won't recommend you stop wholly on the fact that he's your brother. There are a lot of ways that this sort of a relationship could be destructive for both of you, but I've thought about it a great deal. You are both consenting adults and I can believe that it's not inherently bad for you both, but we need to explore it more."
Don eyed her. That was about as much as a promise as a shrink was going to give him. "But incest is illegal. Aren't you required to report it?"
She shrugged one shoulder. "It's a gray area. As a crime, consent is not a defense in incest cases - I looked it up - but the decision point for a therapist having to report a crime is whether the patient is causing or intends to cause harm to themselves or someone else."
"So." She arched her eyebrows. "Is this behavior that is technically a crime causing harm to you or others?"
"No! No. It's one of the safest relationships I've ever been in, at least with a man." He grimaced. "It would cause harm to my dad if he knew but we've been keeping it quiet."
"I see."
"So would you report it?"
"Not unless I find out it's abusive or coercive. But I have a hard time seeing that with you two. You seem to really care about each other's happiness."
"Yeah, we do and Charlie is happy, at least when he's not worried about--" Don quickly changed subjects. "I'm trying to make Charlie happy. I've moved back home, for now, maybe for a long time. I almost lost him to this… illness of his and I will do anything to stop that."
"I understand."
"I'm here and talking to you for Charlie's sake, really. He needs to believe, needs to know that I'm working on stuff. He's worried about that, and I think it will give him a boost to believe that I'm not going anywhere. That I broke up with Alexei for real reasons and I'm not going back to him."
"Alexei?" Sandy asked sharply.
"My ex-not that ex. He is on the other side of the country, and I hope he stays there."
"Good."
"I was with Alexei when I realized…" Don stopped and swallowed. "When I found out Charlie was sick. Sort of. Sick because of me."
"You think Charlie's illness is your fault?"
"I know it is. I…" Don trailed off and looked around her office. Now that he was here, he found himself reluctant to take the next step and actually sit down and talk about how incredibly fucked up he was…
Sandy waited patiently. If she was at the bar right now, she'd be wiping down a glass.
Don's eyes landed on a framed diploma. "You're more than a garden-variety therapist."
"I have a PhD in Psychology. I also have a medical degree, in Psychiatry. I'm also Captain of my rec-league Lacrosse team and two-time winner of the People's Choice award for Best Cocktail at the New Orleans Collegiate Cookoff."
Don fought back a smile, though he'd already known most of that. "No... government experience?"
"Only in paying my taxes."
Don let himself smile. "Did you really have a 'canceled appointment' today?"
She chuckled and shook her head. "I have the feeling you're a good interrogator at the FBI. No, today's my day off." Her face went serious. "I've been worried about you two ever since you came into my bar."
Don grimaced. "Guess you had good reason."
There was silence, then Sandy asked, "Anything else you want to 'clear up' before you sit?"
Don looked at her for a long moment, weighing the dangers versus his need to help Charlie. Maybe even help himself. If he wasn't too far gone…
Shaking his head, Don made himself move from the door. He walked over and sat heavily in the vacant chair.
"Have you ever done therapy before?" Sandy asked.
"Yeah, but…"
"You held some back."
"I held a lot back. I just said what they wanted to hear so they'd clear me for work."
"Got it." She folded her hands on her lap. "I hope you won't hold back with me. Where do you want to start?"
Don blew out a breath. "I don't know where to start."
"'At the beginning' is the usual response."
Don gripped his hands together and stared at them. What was the beginning? When he broke up with Alexei? When he said 'yes' to Charlie's advances? The first time he let Colby hit him? No, it went a lot farther back. When Charlie was labeled a genius at three years old? No…
He shook his head, cleared his throat, and began therapy, for the first time in his life, with the truth. "It all started with Baseball."