Super Mom?....
As I had mentioned in my last blog...er should I say novel..lol. I had a Doctors apt. July 7th to talk over the results of the last test she had done right before I had left for Dallas. I also, as promised to her brought her an autographed picture of one of my promo sideshow pictures that I had autographed with my silver marker. She loved it. The test she had done was a test of a series of 3 that she had done to confirm a final yes or no on my thryoid. It actually came back normal! wow....Relieved that I don't have a bad thryoid..but kinda bummed as well because it means that Im gonna deal with all this medical stuff longer. After so many years of it all..Im kind of sick of it. So many symptoms but so far all the symptoms are results of other symptoms and yet still no cause found. Ugh! The mystery ailment I tell ya! So far, all the doctors, specialists are convinced there IS indeed something wrong...just that I had gone so long without proper treatment let alone proper diagnostics that it has created other problems.
Anyways, as mentioned...I said that I was going to speak with my Doctor about the episode that I had after the show in Dallas. After she looked at the test results of the cardiologist she became rather concerned and then started asking me a series of questions. Like..
Does lights and your environment start looking brighter or warped before your episodes? Yes
How many minor episodes have you had this month? a total? prolly around 8 or so
How many major episdoes this month? 2 or 3
Does anything smell stronger or what not? no
Does your hearing hear things louder or warped? sometimes
Have you had ANY head injuries in your past..any even childhood? Yes...2
Can you supply details from your family who has witnessed these? Yes
Talk to your family about whether there has been any episodes over the years that they are aware of? Ok
Then I finally ask her what were all these questions about. She then proceeded to tell me some news that I found as a rather shock.
She thinks that I have been having siezures (not the convulsing or jerking kind)...and thinks that I may have had them for several years and that they were all improperly diagnosed and treated. Wow....
Now, I have NO idea what to think. I have been talking to my Mom bout the head injuries...the first one was at 3 1/2 years old. I had found out bout that one (as i have no memory of it) a couple of times over the years...but never learned the full details of it. My Mother never wanted to talk about it as its not a happy memory and consisted of her having to escape a very mean person for us kids and herself safety. The other injury I actually remember...I was in 5th grade...during the patriotic concert. we were dressed up as lil miniture george washingtons and I got overheated and passed out and fell off the bleachers about 3 or 4 levels up and hit the stage head first.
I have been feeling rather overwhelmed by it all...and now worry about it and my ability to go on living a normal life. Alot of things have risen for me...things like the Sideshow and its sudden popularity and our first tour coming up. My productions company and my lil girl and my attempt of continuing my role as a "Super Mom" So much that I want to do..and finally getting the chance..but hurdling over obsticles. So many obsticles.
How does one do this? Can this "super mom" continue all her dreams, goals and wishes while giving her child a life she deserves while physically and maybe even mentally sick?
I think that learning and remembering some of the long ago traumas are affecting me. I don't know what to think...or what I should do...
Any Suggestions?