It's never the people you'd suspect....
Yesterday Ben killed himself.... and I found out today. I'm shocked... I'm still in shock because I liked Ben. I thought he was a marvelous person especially with how optomistic he always seemed to be. It's never the people you suspect.... everytime a friend has commited suicide it seems to be the people I'd never thought would do that... the kind I guess internalize their pain and put on a happy face for the world.
I wish I understood what pain Ben was in that he could no longer cope, I wish he had talked to someone.... I wish he hadn't left us behind with the wound in our chest where his bright shining light used to be. I liked Ben, I think most people did... it was hard NOT to like Ben...
I don't know if I could go to the funeral on Sunday... but I would really like to try. If anyone else from Virginia Beach is/wants to go let me know... we could carpool... I really don't think I should drive there alone.
I'm hurt, I'm angry... and I'm in shock. The full weight hasn't hit me yet though... when Rob told me I honestly thought he was joking. I had to go look up his obituary online to prove it to myself and even now... it's barely sinking in.
I'm going to go ... distract myself.
I wish I understood what pain Ben was in that he could no longer cope, I wish he had talked to someone.... I wish he hadn't left us behind with the wound in our chest where his bright shining light used to be. I liked Ben, I think most people did... it was hard NOT to like Ben...
I don't know if I could go to the funeral on Sunday... but I would really like to try. If anyone else from Virginia Beach is/wants to go let me know... we could carpool... I really don't think I should drive there alone.
I'm hurt, I'm angry... and I'm in shock. The full weight hasn't hit me yet though... when Rob told me I honestly thought he was joking. I had to go look up his obituary online to prove it to myself and even now... it's barely sinking in.
I'm going to go ... distract myself.