read the fine print
this whole relationship fiasco has made me think a lot about love.
people tell me it must not have been God's will for the two of us
to be together because God wouldn't have let it be so difficult.
and the only response i can give is this:
i've never been in love. i've never been married. i don't know what love takes.
i don't know how many problems you have to deal with before you get to the "good place."
i don't know if love is supposed to be simple.
but i didnt think it would be a cakewalk either:
Jesus died on the cross for love.
Hosea was married to a prostitute and remained faithful
even though she cheated on him over and over again, for love.
and i told God, i promised Him that if what He had for me wasn't going to be easy.
that what He had for me was going to be really hard before it ever got easy,
well then dang it i was going to work at it.
i was going to remain faithful.
i promised Him i'd do my best.
and i failed.
and do you even know how hard it is,
to face God, knowing that you failed Him?
do you know how worthless that makes a person feel?
of course there's more to it.
like how frustrating it is when someone isn't honest with you.
like how angering it is when they don't keep their word.
like how sad it is when you don't get an explanation or an apology.
like how disappointing it is when they say one thing and then act differently.
like how difficult it is to suck it all in and just deal with it so that the other
person doesn't have to deal with your pain too. so they can remain happy.
do i have to be the savior? the sacrificer? the leader? the tragic hero?
is that really who i am? who God made me to be? it feels like it.
"be strong and courageous"
i'm trying to. my Lord. my God. my strength.
Help author
people tell me it must not have been God's will for the two of us
to be together because God wouldn't have let it be so difficult.
and the only response i can give is this:
i've never been in love. i've never been married. i don't know what love takes.
i don't know how many problems you have to deal with before you get to the "good place."
i don't know if love is supposed to be simple.
but i didnt think it would be a cakewalk either:
Jesus died on the cross for love.
Hosea was married to a prostitute and remained faithful
even though she cheated on him over and over again, for love.
and i told God, i promised Him that if what He had for me wasn't going to be easy.
that what He had for me was going to be really hard before it ever got easy,
well then dang it i was going to work at it.
i was going to remain faithful.
i promised Him i'd do my best.
and i failed.
and do you even know how hard it is,
to face God, knowing that you failed Him?
do you know how worthless that makes a person feel?
of course there's more to it.
like how frustrating it is when someone isn't honest with you.
like how angering it is when they don't keep their word.
like how sad it is when you don't get an explanation or an apology.
like how disappointing it is when they say one thing and then act differently.
like how difficult it is to suck it all in and just deal with it so that the other
person doesn't have to deal with your pain too. so they can remain happy.
do i have to be the savior? the sacrificer? the leader? the tragic hero?
is that really who i am? who God made me to be? it feels like it.
"be strong and courageous"
i'm trying to. my Lord. my God. my strength.
Help author