(no subject)
Heart full of pain..Head full of stress..handful of anger, held in my chest. Uphill struggle. Blood sweat and tears. Nothing to gain. Everything to fear.
When nothing i'm doing in life is making my happy anymore its time for change. I don't have the motivation to do anything. I'm always exhausted. Whether it be metal or physical exhaustion is inconsequential.
I took my time and tried a stop cursing so much. Which I succeeded in doing. When I notice the unnecessary use of profanity I mentally check myself and keep it down.
I need to loose weight. I'm assuming that's the reason behind my physical exhaustion.
I try to relax and read but only get interrupted by family or end up falling to sleep due to being tired....
I try to write my story, to no avail because I'm mentally drained and it comes out as childish nonsense.
I go for walks to relax but it's WAAAAAYYYY to freakin hot out lately.
I find my mind wandering to what people driving by think of me only to realize that the people driving by won't ever notice me. They aren't paying any attention to me and it's silly to think that they are.
I want to cut my hair to help boost how I feel about myself in hopes that it will inspire the changes I want to make. If I don't have the motivation maybe all I need is a Kick in the ass?
I remember how therapeutic this journal used to be. Just knowing that it allowed Brian in my head a little to see how I really feel make me vulnerable and safe at the same time. Gave me an outlet to tell him how I felt without fear of his direct face to face reaction.
I only hope I can get that sort of therapy knowing no one will be reading it this time around...
When nothing i'm doing in life is making my happy anymore its time for change. I don't have the motivation to do anything. I'm always exhausted. Whether it be metal or physical exhaustion is inconsequential.
I took my time and tried a stop cursing so much. Which I succeeded in doing. When I notice the unnecessary use of profanity I mentally check myself and keep it down.
I need to loose weight. I'm assuming that's the reason behind my physical exhaustion.
I try to relax and read but only get interrupted by family or end up falling to sleep due to being tired....
I try to write my story, to no avail because I'm mentally drained and it comes out as childish nonsense.
I go for walks to relax but it's WAAAAAYYYY to freakin hot out lately.
I find my mind wandering to what people driving by think of me only to realize that the people driving by won't ever notice me. They aren't paying any attention to me and it's silly to think that they are.
I want to cut my hair to help boost how I feel about myself in hopes that it will inspire the changes I want to make. If I don't have the motivation maybe all I need is a Kick in the ass?
I remember how therapeutic this journal used to be. Just knowing that it allowed Brian in my head a little to see how I really feel make me vulnerable and safe at the same time. Gave me an outlet to tell him how I felt without fear of his direct face to face reaction.
I only hope I can get that sort of therapy knowing no one will be reading it this time around...