Baby Boy Swank
Ugh, had to write in here because there's so much going through my head about having a baby boy. Well, to start out, I wanted a girl. I think I'd be a good mom to a little girl because I am a girl, and I was really looking forward to doing girl things with her like getting her ears pierced, going shopping, having slumber parties, girls nights out, etc. When they said it was a boy, I was so sad, which made me feel like a horrible mother already...but honestly, having a boy scares me. I don't understand how to raise a boy, and I'm not sure my mother would have any helpful hints for me (look at my brother!). It seems like boys always turn out bad, like they don't love or appreciate their mothers and what all their mothers did for them. I've tried talking to Adam about it because I feel awful feeling like this about my own son, and he won't talk about it at all, which makes me so mad! And I probably wouldn't care as much about it if I knew I had as many chances as I wanted to have a girl, but Adam won't even discuss the prospect of having more than 2 kids, so the next kid is either a hit or miss situation. We've discussed adoption so that we can have a girl, but that costs upwards of $15,000 which is roughly the same cost as to have that sex selection procedure done (which is annoying to pay that much when you already have a 50% chance of having a girl anyway). I think if he would just say (and mean), "Honey, if it means that much to you, if the second kid isn't a girl, we'll just keep trying until we get a girl," that I would feel much better about it, because then it wouldn't be like all hope is lost, ya know?
When I try talking to Adam about it, all he'll say is, "I'm just glad to be having a baby with you, I don't care what it is." Well, first of all, he got a boy, which is what he wanted, so he just wouldn't care as much as me anyway, and secondly, I know that he's right to feel that way, and it bothers me that I'm not feeling that way. So, I try to talk to him about it so that I can get excited about having a little boy, but he won't say anymore about it, which makes me so angry! If he would just talk to me about it for like 5 minutes, I'd probably feel better. I need to know why having a boy won't be the end of my life. (The way I see it, you love a little boy, he grows up, doesn't appreciate you, breaks your heart daily, and then marries a woman who you hate because she's just white trash.)
*more to come, I have to go to work*
When I try talking to Adam about it, all he'll say is, "I'm just glad to be having a baby with you, I don't care what it is." Well, first of all, he got a boy, which is what he wanted, so he just wouldn't care as much as me anyway, and secondly, I know that he's right to feel that way, and it bothers me that I'm not feeling that way. So, I try to talk to him about it so that I can get excited about having a little boy, but he won't say anymore about it, which makes me so angry! If he would just talk to me about it for like 5 minutes, I'd probably feel better. I need to know why having a boy won't be the end of my life. (The way I see it, you love a little boy, he grows up, doesn't appreciate you, breaks your heart daily, and then marries a woman who you hate because she's just white trash.)
*more to come, I have to go to work*