MY PROBITY PROBE BRINGS ALL THE DEATH EATERS TO THE YARD

[darkeyedwolf]

YOU'RE AS NUTTY AS SQUIRREL POO. Oh my god, I am going to insult everyone like this from now on.

Did little children seriously read this book??

Seriously???

TEDDY LUPIN.

You know he grew up to be a little anti-establishment bookworm with copious amounts of pink body hair.

DOBBY. DOBBY. OH MY HEART. I cried. I cried so hard. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Dobby's fierceness and bravery and tiny little body and Harry digging the tiny little grave for this tiny little bundle and DOBBY HAD A TINY LITTLE BODY DID WE MENTION HIS BODY WAS TINY HAHAHA I AM JK ROWLING AND I AM SATAN STABBING YOU IN THE HEART TINY TINY TINY. God. I just. Dobby!! :((( *wails, curls into ball*

AND. And and and. That Scene? With Harry walking to his death and then he raises the spirits of his dead family? I had control of myself until "Does it hurt?" Harry asked childishly and then WATERWORKS. SO HARD. I AM A SAP. IN MY DEFENSE I DIDN'T EXPECT HALF THE FREAKING BOOK TO DIE.

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" a;s;kfdlsf;fsdlkjfl Molly Weasley just became my favorite character of the *entire series*.

OH OH while on the subject of AMAZING LINES:

"It's not a case of what you'll permit, Minerva McGonagall. Your time's over. It's us what's in charge here now, and you'll back me up or you'll pay the price."
And he spat in her face.
Harry pulled the Cloak off himself, raised his wand, and said, "You shouldn't have done that."
As Amycus spun around, Harry shouted, "Crucio!"

........................ YES.

I love McGonagall and I love Harry's tumultuous biscuit-filled fondness of her omg. *__*

Also, I'm a Harry/Hermione shipper and you can laugh at me all you want "like a sister," he says! well Remus and Sirius embraced like brothers and we all know what THAT MEANT shut up but Harry and Hermione in Godric's Hollow with Voldemort approaching and Harry shouting "Hermione, he's coming!" --

Thank you for tossing that bone, JKR. You're all right.

I will now go back to pointing and laughing at the obviously totally okay emotional health of Harry gazing at Ginny's hair and being reminded of Lily.

I would have sex with Neville Longbottom. JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE.

OH OH a;fksdlf SNAPE AS HEADMASTER. With the pureblood professors giving "cruel punishments." And everyone around them speculating as to the "unhealthy, sinister" relationship between Harry and Dumbledore. I swear I read this fic, and it was NC-17.

a;skdsl;fj and Malfoy riding Harry's broom and Harry calling him "Draco" and there were CANON LINES of their sweaty skin slipping against each other's and my god, that woman has *so* been reading fanfic.

The terribble, terrible epilogue is proof of that.

I want Al/Scorpius slash.

I still can't believe that JK ROWLING KILLED HARRY POTTER.

FOR A WHOLE CHAPTER.

;aljkflsdjf my first fandom. I was eleven.

Just think, without Harry Potter I might have been innocent.