Everybody has their ghosts, that emptiness that haunts (FM Jan Topic)
Ready.
The word airport was hardly out of Ryan's mouth but that was all I needed to hear. If I had been thinking a little more clearly I might have just taken the keys out of his hand but instead I just turned around and walked out of Kennedy's apartment where apparently my sister had been staying. I didn't think Ryan had any reason to lie to me, he'd never lied to me before so why would he start with this? Even so, I couldn't really wrap my mind around it. It didn't make any sense. I'd been living with this for over a year. Helena's ghost had followed me to Colorado and then to Los Angeles. She had been with me the entire time so how could she be alive?
I was glad that Ryan wasn't one for smalltalk. He just followed me out to his car and got in the driver's side as I climbed into the passenger's. Before long we were back on the road heading towards LAX. My heart was living in my throat, and even though it was only about a fifteen minute ride to the airport it seemed more like fifteen years. The window was cool against my forehead as I leaned on it, watching the scenery pass. I had never been much for praying but suddenly I was silently pleading with every deity I could think of. Please just let her be there.
I don't have much time.
I don't know why I did it but I turned on my cellphone and checked my messages and my email. Molly was threatening to tell Kennedy but I really didn't care right at the moment. In fact, I hoped she did tell Kennedy. I had a few choice words for my "teacher" who had always complained that my heart just wasn't in it. I would be happy to show her what I was made of if what Ryan was saying was true. Rationally I knew that Molly was still upset about what had happened to her friends and now was probably worried about me but I didn't really care at the moment.
Everything that I was, whoever I had become just didn't exist anymore. I was living in the past, which was why I snapped my phone shut and decided to ignore Molly's question of where I was. Because in the past there was no Molly. There was just me and before that there was my sister. It was kind of like going back in time, except I couldn't see anything in between. I couldn't remember anything about slayer school or jail or my watcher or Sophia. All of it was a blur, crashing down with a screeching halt to two girls living in a one room apartment above a crappy diner in New Orleans.
I'll be alright and you will be too. There's just some stuff that you have to do first.
The tires squealed as Ryan pulled into the parking garage at the airport and he'd barely stopped the car when I was already jumping out of it. It was kind of like slaying. Stop thinking and just act. Go, go, go. I raced through the garage and in through the doors but LAX was gigantic. I'd never actually been inside of it before but I hadn't really thought of trying to figure out where she would be. I screeched to a sudden halt in the middle of an aisle as people bustled around me as if they had no idea. They didn't know and the sheer immensity of the building made me want to cry for a second. How was I gonna find her in here?
I could hear Ryan running in behind me, calling my name but he couldn't keep up with me so I mostly ignored him as I spun around wishing that she would just suddenly appear in front of me. My head felt like it was still spinning even though I had stopped already. Swallowing the lump in my throat I tried to pick a direction when I realized a little boy was staring up at me.
"You forgot this over there." He said to me as he handed me a magazine that I had never seen before.
I only looked at it for a second before I bent down and took him roughly by the shoulders. "Where? Where did I leave this?!" I demanded, shaking him probably a little too hard.
"Over there. Let me go!" He shrieked and I did, quickly before I got arrested for being a terrorist or something. Not that I cared right now. Instead I was staring at the area he had pointed out. There was a brunette standing with her back to me staring out the window. Dropping the magazine on the floor I walked over to her.
"Helena?"
You'll never be alone.
(Helena....)
The word airport was hardly out of Ryan's mouth but that was all I needed to hear. If I had been thinking a little more clearly I might have just taken the keys out of his hand but instead I just turned around and walked out of Kennedy's apartment where apparently my sister had been staying. I didn't think Ryan had any reason to lie to me, he'd never lied to me before so why would he start with this? Even so, I couldn't really wrap my mind around it. It didn't make any sense. I'd been living with this for over a year. Helena's ghost had followed me to Colorado and then to Los Angeles. She had been with me the entire time so how could she be alive?
I was glad that Ryan wasn't one for smalltalk. He just followed me out to his car and got in the driver's side as I climbed into the passenger's. Before long we were back on the road heading towards LAX. My heart was living in my throat, and even though it was only about a fifteen minute ride to the airport it seemed more like fifteen years. The window was cool against my forehead as I leaned on it, watching the scenery pass. I had never been much for praying but suddenly I was silently pleading with every deity I could think of. Please just let her be there.
I don't have much time.
I don't know why I did it but I turned on my cellphone and checked my messages and my email. Molly was threatening to tell Kennedy but I really didn't care right at the moment. In fact, I hoped she did tell Kennedy. I had a few choice words for my "teacher" who had always complained that my heart just wasn't in it. I would be happy to show her what I was made of if what Ryan was saying was true. Rationally I knew that Molly was still upset about what had happened to her friends and now was probably worried about me but I didn't really care at the moment.
Everything that I was, whoever I had become just didn't exist anymore. I was living in the past, which was why I snapped my phone shut and decided to ignore Molly's question of where I was. Because in the past there was no Molly. There was just me and before that there was my sister. It was kind of like going back in time, except I couldn't see anything in between. I couldn't remember anything about slayer school or jail or my watcher or Sophia. All of it was a blur, crashing down with a screeching halt to two girls living in a one room apartment above a crappy diner in New Orleans.
I'll be alright and you will be too. There's just some stuff that you have to do first.
The tires squealed as Ryan pulled into the parking garage at the airport and he'd barely stopped the car when I was already jumping out of it. It was kind of like slaying. Stop thinking and just act. Go, go, go. I raced through the garage and in through the doors but LAX was gigantic. I'd never actually been inside of it before but I hadn't really thought of trying to figure out where she would be. I screeched to a sudden halt in the middle of an aisle as people bustled around me as if they had no idea. They didn't know and the sheer immensity of the building made me want to cry for a second. How was I gonna find her in here?
I could hear Ryan running in behind me, calling my name but he couldn't keep up with me so I mostly ignored him as I spun around wishing that she would just suddenly appear in front of me. My head felt like it was still spinning even though I had stopped already. Swallowing the lump in my throat I tried to pick a direction when I realized a little boy was staring up at me.
"You forgot this over there." He said to me as he handed me a magazine that I had never seen before.
I only looked at it for a second before I bent down and took him roughly by the shoulders. "Where? Where did I leave this?!" I demanded, shaking him probably a little too hard.
"Over there. Let me go!" He shrieked and I did, quickly before I got arrested for being a terrorist or something. Not that I cared right now. Instead I was staring at the area he had pointed out. There was a brunette standing with her back to me staring out the window. Dropping the magazine on the floor I walked over to her.
"Helena?"
You'll never be alone.
(Helena....)