Many Seasons of a Lifetime
All I can say is wow. So much has changed since I last kept a diary. I do not like the word 'blog' it's so impresonal. I first started my search to find my old go to diary site OpenDiary to find out that it's been closed for awhile which really bummed me out. I thought about starting a new one and livejornal popped up. I vaguely remembered having this (I had so many before facebook/myspace came out!)
A little background because many people now don't know who I used to be, with light reminiscence on this site I don't believe this one covers my battle with anorexia/bulimia, cutting, drug addiction and many "omg I'm in love, oh wait, no I'm not relationships". (But there's a short rundown of my past if I reference those issues in the future.)
So an update, just in case anyone decides to go back and read through my highschool drama posts,
I'm now in my late 20's. I've been married to the love of my life for 7 years and we have two beautiful children.
N my little boy is a crazy child, my mini me and A is just chill as f*** like her father. We all balance each other out.
I work in a large corporate office in the global legal department, doing a job that actually should require three people, to produce a successful output of workflow, but I digress.
I have for the most part beaten my eating disorders, some small quirks however will never go away about how I eat. Some of that, I suppose goes with my current diagnosis of OCD and anxiety, for which xanx occasionally helps. On that note, I think it is partially genetic as my husband and I can both see symptoms in N (again, sadly, a mini me).
So of course, like many people who feel like they are not being heard or simply have much more to say than they can actually say to other people, I've resorted back to "blogging".
Many times having the feeling of the person who is alway there for others, but rarely has someone there for her.
I think much of this is my fault. I don't trust many enough to share my actual thoughts and concerns and when those I do completely blow them off I tend to resort back into myself and have become quite lonely, especially in the full time working mother with two very small children and wife (but I'm still an individual who has her own interests and thoughts and dreams, damnit!) roles.
There are many situations that I really need to get off my chest and out of my heart, but for tonight, as I was requested to do a reading quite late, I do not have time to explain.
Please, if you are interested in a friendship or like to give advice, I'd enjoy adding you to my friends list. (The only people on here currently are from when I opened this in 2006 and are litterally three people who I don't think have written since 2006!) I am really reaching out for adult friendships and conversation since, as stupid as this sounds, I don't have time to build meaningful relationships (outside of the VERY few I have maintained in close proximity).
I'm just going through a trying time and blogging in itself can be therapy.
Blessed Be,
.x.Hikiro no ko.x.
A little background because many people now don't know who I used to be, with light reminiscence on this site I don't believe this one covers my battle with anorexia/bulimia, cutting, drug addiction and many "omg I'm in love, oh wait, no I'm not relationships". (But there's a short rundown of my past if I reference those issues in the future.)
So an update, just in case anyone decides to go back and read through my highschool drama posts,
I'm now in my late 20's. I've been married to the love of my life for 7 years and we have two beautiful children.
N my little boy is a crazy child, my mini me and A is just chill as f*** like her father. We all balance each other out.
I work in a large corporate office in the global legal department, doing a job that actually should require three people, to produce a successful output of workflow, but I digress.
I have for the most part beaten my eating disorders, some small quirks however will never go away about how I eat. Some of that, I suppose goes with my current diagnosis of OCD and anxiety, for which xanx occasionally helps. On that note, I think it is partially genetic as my husband and I can both see symptoms in N (again, sadly, a mini me).
So of course, like many people who feel like they are not being heard or simply have much more to say than they can actually say to other people, I've resorted back to "blogging".
Many times having the feeling of the person who is alway there for others, but rarely has someone there for her.
I think much of this is my fault. I don't trust many enough to share my actual thoughts and concerns and when those I do completely blow them off I tend to resort back into myself and have become quite lonely, especially in the full time working mother with two very small children and wife (but I'm still an individual who has her own interests and thoughts and dreams, damnit!) roles.
There are many situations that I really need to get off my chest and out of my heart, but for tonight, as I was requested to do a reading quite late, I do not have time to explain.
Please, if you are interested in a friendship or like to give advice, I'd enjoy adding you to my friends list. (The only people on here currently are from when I opened this in 2006 and are litterally three people who I don't think have written since 2006!) I am really reaching out for adult friendships and conversation since, as stupid as this sounds, I don't have time to build meaningful relationships (outside of the VERY few I have maintained in close proximity).
I'm just going through a trying time and blogging in itself can be therapy.
Blessed Be,
.x.Hikiro no ko.x.