Filk - It's so easy

[darkdisciple]

A couple years ago (how time flies), I was in TBH's RPG, and he'd started us all as simple villagers. One of the PCs was a seven-foot-tall albino toolmaker named Elahr. You see, TBH had been very careful to avoid telling us what "normal" villagers looked like, in the hopes that we'd end up being something special. And since we'd never played on this world before, we all guessed at what normal was. Only one PC ended up being "normal", but I think most of us were trying to be somewhat special. Anyway, Elarh's PC got a lot of grief about being a vampire. Alwen's PC (the only one of us who hit on "normal") managed to get the GM to agree that a little boy named Ahtu had recently had his nose bitten off by a dog. So, since he was a woodcarver, he would make a "nose for Ahtu". Thank you, Danlo_Latronis. Anyway, Alwen found some bone armor that soulbonded with him and he became Bones Man. Iramushi was the one who made a deal with the dark Powers, and sacrificed himself so that he could have the power to rise from death. He kept my character (and my character's wife, the "party wizard") up late talking, trying to figure out how the world worked. This is one of the first songs that I filked, and honestly, I haven't heard the song in forever. So I don't remember how good a job I did. I seem to recall that it doesn't rhyme too much, so it's OK that I just threw in some random words.

And so, here's the filk. Not by Voltaire.

Elahr:

When the Shade is too busy
and the Dark Lands are too much
They call on me by name you see.
for my special touch.
To the gentlemen I'm nosferatu
To the ladies I'm that ghost
But call me by any name
Any way it's all the same

I make tools for your group
I carve wood for the crew
I'll drink your blood 'till you're dead
Give you a knock on the head
I sit there on the ship
I'm a pain on every trip
I'm the teeth in your neck
When you turn into a wreck
And it's so easy when you're Elarh
This is the life, you see
Soldiers slash their swords at me
I do it all because I'm Elarh
And I do it all for free
Your blood is all the pay I'll ever need

Alwen:

While there's carving to be done,
While there's fight club to be won,
While there's pay up which to pick,
While there's soldiers to trip down the stairs
I'll be there, I'll be waiting round the corner
It's a game. I'm glad I'm Bones Man.
I'm never going home again!

Iramushi:

I pledge my allegiance to the Shade Lords
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Getaero
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only dies, but dies so happily.

I'm the peer that keeps you awake
Talking incessantly
I'm the druij I can become
I'm the nightmare to Edward
I'll put a dagger in your back
I get two turns when I attack
I stopped the quivering of my heart
A stabbing pain, and then restart.

Elarh:

It gets so lonely being Elarh
What I'd do to see a smile
Even for a little while
And no one loves you when you're Elarh
I'm lying though my teeth
Your blood is all the company I need.