sometimes is best to stay asleep.
the corridor was bright. annoyingly bright,. but it did not hurt my eyes. that was the annoying part. i knew that death had enveloped...now i wish i hadnt prayed so much in my life, hell is what i truely deserved. not the haven i was stuck in.
'hayley.' said a voice behind the doors that suddenly appeared amid the corridor. so i was in limbo...great. behind those doors is paradise.
'shut up!' i didnt want paradise, i shouldnt have paradise! suicide does not deserve paradise.
'you are not a bad person hayley. you deserve what we can give you.' said the voice that i had come to loathe so recently.
'please just go away. i just wanna stay here.' i said. my voice was stronger than i thought it would be.
'what? and wallow in useless misery. if your going to hate yourself you might aswell do it in luxury.' ive never hated a voice so much.
the door creaked with lack of oil and my grandmother stepped through smiling at me.
'grandma?' i said mouth open.
'you have a choice hayley. you can stay here with me, in paradise. or you can go back and make things right down there. you have things you need to do. and your not a normal kid anymore. its not just yor mom that'd miss you. its the whole world. i'll always be here. im not gonna go anywhere. so i recommend you go home.' she walked over to me, bent down and kissed my forehead.
urgh now THAT light burned. i could see figures running around around me. staring at me with open mouths. but then i realised, they wernt moving. i was. really fast. noise started to pour through my ears as i registered where i was. i heard sobs all around and screams of saddness all around as i rushed through corridors. 'just like before' i thought.
"hayley?" a mans voice echoed through my empty mind. "hayley honey wake up, we got cupcakes" the voice choked on a sob. jeremy. man i cant die i need them, my friends, what was i thinking?
"shhhh, hayleys sleeping." i said yawning. the pain in my neck and arm as i stretched made me puke.
"shit! doctor, get a doctor! jeez she's puking blood!" taylors voice was manic. blood, huh? thats odd. but as i searched for an identification of the liquid i realised it was most certainly blood.
"ok, keep calm this happens after you have a noose round your neck, just calm dow-" the doctor was cut short after another shower of blood poured from me. "ok now keep her from lying down, it may hurt but she'll thank you later." he came at me with a light, and shon it in my eyes. " okay theyre dialted, take her off the drugs, she'll just have to deal with the pain, its not good for her."
i stopped puking and he lay me down.
the pain overwhelmed me and i passed out.
"-stupid, why did you do that! its not fair! you know i would have came back! you should have gave me time. not hurt yourself. i cant NOT love you. your too awesome." josh laughed as i slowly regained conciousness.
"no. i. want.to.sleep!" i murmed as i rolled over. but the movement hurt me.
"okay. just dont movce so much coz your like bruised all over your neck. dont even get me into your arm!" he laughed grimly.
"fine i love you. now shh." i said as i closed my eyes.
"although your a douchebag, i love you too."
'hayley.' said a voice behind the doors that suddenly appeared amid the corridor. so i was in limbo...great. behind those doors is paradise.
'shut up!' i didnt want paradise, i shouldnt have paradise! suicide does not deserve paradise.
'you are not a bad person hayley. you deserve what we can give you.' said the voice that i had come to loathe so recently.
'please just go away. i just wanna stay here.' i said. my voice was stronger than i thought it would be.
'what? and wallow in useless misery. if your going to hate yourself you might aswell do it in luxury.' ive never hated a voice so much.
the door creaked with lack of oil and my grandmother stepped through smiling at me.
'grandma?' i said mouth open.
'you have a choice hayley. you can stay here with me, in paradise. or you can go back and make things right down there. you have things you need to do. and your not a normal kid anymore. its not just yor mom that'd miss you. its the whole world. i'll always be here. im not gonna go anywhere. so i recommend you go home.' she walked over to me, bent down and kissed my forehead.
urgh now THAT light burned. i could see figures running around around me. staring at me with open mouths. but then i realised, they wernt moving. i was. really fast. noise started to pour through my ears as i registered where i was. i heard sobs all around and screams of saddness all around as i rushed through corridors. 'just like before' i thought.
"hayley?" a mans voice echoed through my empty mind. "hayley honey wake up, we got cupcakes" the voice choked on a sob. jeremy. man i cant die i need them, my friends, what was i thinking?
"shhhh, hayleys sleeping." i said yawning. the pain in my neck and arm as i stretched made me puke.
"shit! doctor, get a doctor! jeez she's puking blood!" taylors voice was manic. blood, huh? thats odd. but as i searched for an identification of the liquid i realised it was most certainly blood.
"ok, keep calm this happens after you have a noose round your neck, just calm dow-" the doctor was cut short after another shower of blood poured from me. "ok now keep her from lying down, it may hurt but she'll thank you later." he came at me with a light, and shon it in my eyes. " okay theyre dialted, take her off the drugs, she'll just have to deal with the pain, its not good for her."
i stopped puking and he lay me down.
the pain overwhelmed me and i passed out.
"-stupid, why did you do that! its not fair! you know i would have came back! you should have gave me time. not hurt yourself. i cant NOT love you. your too awesome." josh laughed as i slowly regained conciousness.
"no. i. want.to.sleep!" i murmed as i rolled over. but the movement hurt me.
"okay. just dont movce so much coz your like bruised all over your neck. dont even get me into your arm!" he laughed grimly.
"fine i love you. now shh." i said as i closed my eyes.
"although your a douchebag, i love you too."