Dr Plotless Presents : "Where are they now?"
Perhaps on the brink of the greatest discovery in the world, I stand here now reporting live from the epicenter where life as we know it could possibly change forever. This revelation came to me only hours before, and only now have I begun to gather enough willpower and courage to type these long-winded and unneccessary words to keep the suspense flowing before I tell of my ascute discovery!
You see, it all begins many moons ago when I began poking around for ways to pirate Playstation 1 games (for a friend of mine, Big Brother, I have no desire to break the law). It was in this searching (for my friend) that I found an NES emulator for PS1! The ability to play nintendo games on a playstation? Unheard of! Interested in this prospect (for my friend's best gaming experience, you understand, I would never burn a game in my life) I set out making several copies of this emulator on disk and popped them into my (friends) modded PS1.
Behold, hundreds of NES games for my (friends) delight! Countless hours ensued in the entrenched war jungles of Contra, the technicolor dream paradise of SMB2, the choppy and often deadly 8-bit seas of Jaws. Truely, this was heaven, and for a while, it was good. Untill I decided to become ambitious and try something a little more... different.
I loaded up "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!" which was a classic in it's time, but never truely appreciated by my younger self when it was a hit. I gave it a shot, fought some burly bastard that looked like Dino, and was having a reletively good time.
Simple button combos, easy moves, dodges and uppercuts, where could I go wrong? And when at last, when I had won the match against Dino, I was shocked - no, stunned - at what I saw. My (friends) controller fell to the floor. For several long hours, my eyes did not leave the screen before me.
His name was "Doc" Louis, a regular joe if I ever did see one. He served as the trainer for the Rocky-esque hero of the game called Little Mac. A photo of both can be seen directly below.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, take one good god damn look into the wide, circular eyes of trainer "Doc" Louis. Aside from both of them being completely identical, what do you see? What do you REALLY see? A man struggling to let a small white boy take on the biggest black man (at the time) Mike Tyson? A man who, deep inside, only wants to live a peaceful life away from the hustle and bustle of the ring and it's trivialities... a man who, many years later, would carry out his dream and get married to a woman named Loretta on Spooner Street! Yes, that's right, readers eager for the ending of this post, this "Doc" Louis is, infact, Cleveland of Family Guy fame!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this slow talking hipster has a past of taking on the mighty Mike Tyson! Cleveland, taking on a more relaxing sport in this photo, certainly has changed since then, hasnt he! 15 years worth of rogain for the baldness, a few sedatives to droop those eyelids and slow down his speech, it's all the perfect coverup to lay low and escape all the bloodshed of the mid 80's boxing ring.
I guess there's a lesson to be realized in all of this. Even the most unsuspecting neighhours and friends could very likely have been, in their prime, the one thing that stood between Little Mac's broken spine and the championship belt. I might even go so far as to say that maybe there's a little Mac in all of us, forever smiling, and we're all a "Doc" Louis Cleveland training him day and night for that final conflict between man and the ugly pixellated gap toothed menace known... as Michael Tyson.
You see, it all begins many moons ago when I began poking around for ways to pirate Playstation 1 games (for a friend of mine, Big Brother, I have no desire to break the law). It was in this searching (for my friend) that I found an NES emulator for PS1! The ability to play nintendo games on a playstation? Unheard of! Interested in this prospect (for my friend's best gaming experience, you understand, I would never burn a game in my life) I set out making several copies of this emulator on disk and popped them into my (friends) modded PS1.
Behold, hundreds of NES games for my (friends) delight! Countless hours ensued in the entrenched war jungles of Contra, the technicolor dream paradise of SMB2, the choppy and often deadly 8-bit seas of Jaws. Truely, this was heaven, and for a while, it was good. Untill I decided to become ambitious and try something a little more... different.
I loaded up "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!" which was a classic in it's time, but never truely appreciated by my younger self when it was a hit. I gave it a shot, fought some burly bastard that looked like Dino, and was having a reletively good time.
Simple button combos, easy moves, dodges and uppercuts, where could I go wrong? And when at last, when I had won the match against Dino, I was shocked - no, stunned - at what I saw. My (friends) controller fell to the floor. For several long hours, my eyes did not leave the screen before me.
His name was "Doc" Louis, a regular joe if I ever did see one. He served as the trainer for the Rocky-esque hero of the game called Little Mac. A photo of both can be seen directly below.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, take one good god damn look into the wide, circular eyes of trainer "Doc" Louis. Aside from both of them being completely identical, what do you see? What do you REALLY see? A man struggling to let a small white boy take on the biggest black man (at the time) Mike Tyson? A man who, deep inside, only wants to live a peaceful life away from the hustle and bustle of the ring and it's trivialities... a man who, many years later, would carry out his dream and get married to a woman named Loretta on Spooner Street! Yes, that's right, readers eager for the ending of this post, this "Doc" Louis is, infact, Cleveland of Family Guy fame!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this slow talking hipster has a past of taking on the mighty Mike Tyson! Cleveland, taking on a more relaxing sport in this photo, certainly has changed since then, hasnt he! 15 years worth of rogain for the baldness, a few sedatives to droop those eyelids and slow down his speech, it's all the perfect coverup to lay low and escape all the bloodshed of the mid 80's boxing ring.
I guess there's a lesson to be realized in all of this. Even the most unsuspecting neighhours and friends could very likely have been, in their prime, the one thing that stood between Little Mac's broken spine and the championship belt. I might even go so far as to say that maybe there's a little Mac in all of us, forever smiling, and we're all a "Doc" Louis Cleveland training him day and night for that final conflict between man and the ugly pixellated gap toothed menace known... as Michael Tyson.