Bleeding Heart
There's a clean cut that's been made...I'm draining and I don't know how/if I want to fix it...
In the end are all my reasons for hiding you nothing more than a cover for my own denial?
If true this betrayal of trust could be the last straw.
I'm unraveling today and there is too much planned for these hours for me to focus all my energy on this, yet my heart and head keep finding a way.
Class begins tonight, a very late class that cuts into the evening time I would normally have to muddle through these dealings.
If everything I fear is true...then I'm done with all this. I'll close the gap for all time, for my time. In the end if the thing that has brought down the wall has done nothing but poison everything it was put up to protect...that is the end for me.
I've always questioned this, these human emotions, these human connections. Always taken them with a grain of salt, a bitter taste. The longer this sits in waiting the more I feel like I was right. Cynical/sarcastic/depressing...may still have been right all along.
This sullies my accomplishments, makes me feel like I wasted precious time/energy. Feels like I've been played a great fool...and I don't even have full reason...yet.
The evidence is there and that alone just destroys me...
Work to do, things to be done, class tonight...I'm too run down for all this...
In the end are all my reasons for hiding you nothing more than a cover for my own denial?
If true this betrayal of trust could be the last straw.
I'm unraveling today and there is too much planned for these hours for me to focus all my energy on this, yet my heart and head keep finding a way.
Class begins tonight, a very late class that cuts into the evening time I would normally have to muddle through these dealings.
If everything I fear is true...then I'm done with all this. I'll close the gap for all time, for my time. In the end if the thing that has brought down the wall has done nothing but poison everything it was put up to protect...that is the end for me.
I've always questioned this, these human emotions, these human connections. Always taken them with a grain of salt, a bitter taste. The longer this sits in waiting the more I feel like I was right. Cynical/sarcastic/depressing...may still have been right all along.
This sullies my accomplishments, makes me feel like I wasted precious time/energy. Feels like I've been played a great fool...and I don't even have full reason...yet.
The evidence is there and that alone just destroys me...
Work to do, things to be done, class tonight...I'm too run down for all this...