(no subject)
I'm not going to the wine and cheese party. It will be too crowded for me, and that's fine.
But there's another reason why I'm not going. I spent most of the day in bed, hungover. Last night at Ashley's birthday party I drank too much.
I. Drank. Too. Much.
When we got to Ashley's apartment I became very aware with how uncomfortable I was with so many people I don't know. And I remember telling myself that I couldn't wait to drink so I could feel more at ease. Alcohol has almost become a crucial part of how much I enjoy a party or not. From what I can tell, it's a problem that is social. I haven't drank much in months. It just never crosses my mind. I'm just as happy not to drink. But when I'm at a party that completely changes. I back into the corner of whichever room and wait to mellow out. And for whatever reason, I cannot grasp the point that I've had enough. And I keep drinking. Not a stupidly excessive amount but definitely more then I should.
I don't like it. I'm tired of it. I'd like to stop doing it. I just wonder how much I'll enjoy parties without alcohol. It's a reliance I wish I never had.
But there's another reason why I'm not going. I spent most of the day in bed, hungover. Last night at Ashley's birthday party I drank too much.
I. Drank. Too. Much.
When we got to Ashley's apartment I became very aware with how uncomfortable I was with so many people I don't know. And I remember telling myself that I couldn't wait to drink so I could feel more at ease. Alcohol has almost become a crucial part of how much I enjoy a party or not. From what I can tell, it's a problem that is social. I haven't drank much in months. It just never crosses my mind. I'm just as happy not to drink. But when I'm at a party that completely changes. I back into the corner of whichever room and wait to mellow out. And for whatever reason, I cannot grasp the point that I've had enough. And I keep drinking. Not a stupidly excessive amount but definitely more then I should.
I don't like it. I'm tired of it. I'd like to stop doing it. I just wonder how much I'll enjoy parties without alcohol. It's a reliance I wish I never had.